Two wrongs do not make a right. No.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here: I wouldn't cheat for vindictive purposes, but if my DW cheated on me, a condition of reconciliation would be that I get one hall pass for each of her past OMs, to be redeemed on a don't ask, don't tell basis.

So she can sit and wonder every time your gone if you're fucking someone else? Can you explain how that's not vindictive?

Well, I am assuming that she'd rather not know the particulars, so rubbing her face in them seems to me even more vindictive. I suspect she would allow herself to believe that I was not taking advantage of those opportunities. But I simply couldn't remain married to someone who had been unfaithful and enjoyed non-monogamous sex but wanted to deny me the same opportunity. If that didn't work for her we could go our separate ways.

Anonymous wrote:DH here: I wouldn't cheat for vindictive purposes, but if my DW cheated on me, a condition of reconciliation would be that I get one hall pass for each of her past OMs, to be redeemed on a don't ask, don't tell basis.

So she can sit and wonder every time your gone if you're fucking someone else? Can you explain how that's not vindictive?

DH here: I wouldn't cheat for vindictive purposes, but if my DW cheated on me, a condition of reconciliation would be that I get one hall pass for each of her past OMs, to be redeemed on a don't ask, don't tell basis.

Anonymous wrote:If my husband cheated on me I wouldn't go out and do the same thing just for the sake of doing it. But I'd probably be more open to letting it happen if the opportunity presented itself further down the road. This is all assuming that I could forgive his affair and stay with him after it was discovered.

NP here

Yes.

I've been married 15 years. My husband has cheated on me at least twice (that I know of.) Once when we were married about 4 years, and again when we were married about 6 years. I stayed with him.

But since then (within the last year), a few opportunities for me to cheat have come up and I did act on one of them. And don't feel a bit of guilt.

No. And for you to even ask this question, OP, along with your stated vindictiveness, puts into question whether you are mature enough to even be in a serious relationship.

Anonymous wrote:If you would find out you have been cheated on for a long time. What would you do? i know for sure i would cheat because i am very vindictive. Is it right to get counseling if you are going to cheat or just get an divorce?

I would divorce. Only losers cheat and I am not a loser.

Is it right? It's probably not wrong but I wouldn't lower myself just because my husband did. I would walk out of my marriage at least with my own dignity intact if nothing else.

Anonymous wrote:If my husband cheated on me I wouldn't go out and do the same thing just for the sake of doing it. But I'd probably be more open to letting it happen if the opportunity presented itself further down the road. This is all assuming that I could forgive his affair and stay with him after it was discovered.

What if your husband was using sex workers instead? would you still feel the same?

Just get a divorce.

If that is your first instinct after being cheated on, it's a sign that your marriage is very broken and probably has been for a while. Either decide you want to fix it or get out.

for ones who've been cheated on, to each his/her own.

If my husband cheated on me I wouldn't go out and do the same thing just for the sake of doing it. But I'd probably be more open to letting it happen if the opportunity presented itself further down the road. This is all assuming that I could forgive his affair and stay with him after it was discovered.

No, what kind of example do you want to set for your kids. Divorce.

If you would find out you have been cheated on for a long time. What would you do? i know for sure i would cheat because i am very vindictive. Is it right to get counseling if you are going to cheat or just get an divorce?