I think it would be a little weird - like trying to hard. Your SIL's may feel weird that they didn't do anything/get anything in return for you.

In our family, we'll send each other a "Happy Mother's Day" e-mail, e-card, or text or something. Just a simple acknowledgement.

I sometimes will get my SILs and sister something small, like a potted plant, if we're all getting together for Mothers' Day. Nobody would ever expect that every year, nor would I expect something in return. However, we are a touchy feely family that often does random nice things for each other. It's sad that some people feel every kind gesture has to be picked apart.

WTF -- If OP wants to do something nice for people she cares about -- GO FOR IT!
These same posters saying they then feel obligated, would be the same ones bitching when they didn't get acknowledged about something else. It really is a sad sign of the times when people cannot even make a nice gesture...geez. Lighten up people.

I would not want the gifts because then you feel obligated or guilty. Mother's Day should be a day about mom getting to relax and children showing their moms they love them.

Anonymous wrote:OP here....wow...I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. last year I gave the same group (minus 1 SIL who is a new mom of 2 weeks!) some nice bars of soap. I was wondering if the earrings would be cheesy since they are handmade. I am in no way obligating them or myself to reciprocate/do it every year. I just know they do a lot for their families and just wanted to do a very small something for them.

If you'd be offended if they never wear them, throw them away or give them away, then don't give hand-made earrings. If you wouldn't be, then go for it. It's very sweet of you.

I think it's sweet!

Anonymous wrote:OP here....wow...I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. last year I gave the same group (minus 1 SIL who is a new mom of 2 weeks!) some nice bars of soap. I was wondering if the earrings would be cheesy since they are handmade. I am in no way obligating them or myself to reciprocate/do it every year. I just know they do a lot for their families and just wanted to do a very small something for them.

I'm the PP who suggested the out of the blue gift. If you've done this in the past, go for it! I could do this with my family and have it be a nice one-off without expectation of doing it every year or reciprocation. If I did this with my ILs, they would feel obligated to give something to me and my MIL would expect something every year. So it totally depends on the dynamic of the people involved.

I don't think earrings are cheesy at all. It's a very sweet gesture!

OP here....wow...I didn't think it was going to be a big deal. last year I gave the same group (minus 1 SIL who is a new mom of 2 weeks!) some nice bars of soap. I was wondering if the earrings would be cheesy since they are handmade. I am in no way obligating them or myself to reciprocate/do it every year. I just know they do a lot for their families and just wanted to do a very small something for them.

I would be really irritated if someone did this for me. Maybe I'm a grump, but that's how I feel. Giving me a gift obligates me to get you one, and that's the LAST thing I want to worry about on mothers day given that I'm already worried about my mother, my step mother, and my mother in law.

The "danger" with doing this on Mothers' Day, as others have said, is that it sets a precedent. It also might make them feel a sense of obligate to return the favor with a Mothers' Day present to you (if you're a mother) or in some other way.

Do you specific want to honor them for their mothering? Or could you just do as the pp suggests and send it separately as a present out of the blue?

Anonymous wrote:I think it's fine, but be warned that tou may find you are obligated to remember all these ladies every freaking year after this, so...

This is what I'd be concerned about. I'd still send them the card and small gift, but not for Mother's Day. Just a random "thinking about you" gift.

I think it's fine, but be warned that tou may find you are obligated to remember all these ladies every freaking year after this, so...

How could a gift or thoughtful gesture be cheesy?

I'll admit, I've been married for 18 years and a mom for 16 and I'm thoroughly confused as to how Mothers Day is supposed to be celebrated. Really. For our family, it's turned into a forced day of togetherness for me, my MIL and my own mom.

I don't think you are using the word cheesy correctly, blatently unauthentic?

I think it is weird to send your SIL a card and a gift on Mothers Day. Why do you want to honor them?

Is this a one time thing or do you plan to do it every year?

I have 4 SILs - 2 from DHs side and 2 on mine. And 1 sister. All are moms so I wanted to send a card and a pair of handmade earrings - nothing big but just a little celebration of them. I'm sending my mom a large bouquet of flowers. Would it be cheesy to send the SILs and my sister a card and small gift? Just wanted to honor them.