Anonymous wrote:Good question. I would include proper napkin placement (on lap when at the table and on chair if you excuse yourself), use of different types of silverware and dishes (seafood fork, finger bowl, etc.), and speaking politely to waitstaff if you are in a restaurant.

Finger bowl? Really? I think it could possibly be worth a casual mention that they exist. But NOT a basic, or even in the top 100 things to know. Not in the category of the other things on this page. How often have you come across a finger bowl at dinner?

Anonymous wrote:Dinner as a social occasion where people converse, not just a time to shovel in calories. Ask "may I please be excused" or waiting until everyone is done (depending on your family's practice). Napkin on lap and use the napkin. No slurping or other noises. No saying "yuck" about the food; trying everything and just leaving it quietly on your plate if you don't like it. Passing food to others and asking politely for things to be passed. Not demanding things or hounding for dessert while others are still eating dinner.

These seem like basics.

Anonymous wrote:Don't take a sip from your drink while you have food in your mouth. Probably no one else does this but my aunt was old school and when eating soup, spoon away from one's self. Also never lift the bowl to clean the bowl for the last few spoonfuls and never clang your silverware against the plate.

You can tip the bowl away from you, but the back edge of bowl should never leave the table.


Yes, others do this.

No electronics
No talking politics or religion

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Make sure everyone at the table has their food before you begin eating.

What if the hostess hasn't picked up her fork yet?

If she's a proper hostess, she will do that once everyone has been served.

Don't take a sip from your drink while you have food in your mouth. Probably no one else does this but my aunt was old school and when eating soup, spoon away from one's self. Also never lift the bowl to clean the bowl for the last few spoonfuls and never clang your silverware against the plate.

Anonymous wrote:16:08, is it actually rude to eat all of one item before moving on to the next? Or is it just quirky?

Children do this, but it is weird in an adult, not rude, but definitely weird.

Anonymous wrote:Make sure everyone at the table has their food before you begin eating.

What if the hostess hasn't picked up her fork yet?

Make sure everyone at the table has their food before you begin eating. Thank the cook at the end of the meal.

16:08, is it actually rude to eat all of one item before moving on to the next? Or is it just quirky?

Dinner as a social occasion where people converse, not just a time to shovel in calories. Ask "may I please be excused" or waiting until everyone is done (depending on your family's practice). Napkin on lap and use the napkin. No slurping or other noises. No saying "yuck" about the food; trying everything and just leaving it quietly on your plate if you don't like it. Passing food to others and asking politely for things to be passed. Not demanding things or hounding for dessert while others are still eating dinner.

The proper way to butter your roll (i.e., not all at once). The proper way to cut meat (i.e, slice, do not saw and do not cut up all at once). Eat for all of the items on your plate. Do not eat all of one item before moving on to next. The proper direction to pass food (i.e, counter-clockwise). To wait for the hostess to pick up her cutlery before beginning to eat. Not to take too much of any one serving. Bring your food to your mouth not your mouth to your food (i.e., do not lower you food to your plate). Elbows off the table. Ask for something to be passed to you; do not grab. Do not monopolize the conversation. Sit up straight. Do not gobble your food. Take time to appreciate the meal. Proper use of napkin….the list is endless. Sadly, good table manners (ok manners in general) are becoming a lost art. Get a good etiquette book for teens and have periodic "formal" dinners. It will make a difference.

Good question. I would include proper napkin placement (on lap when at the table and on chair if you excuse yourself), use of different types of silverware and dishes (seafood fork, finger bowl, etc.), and speaking politely to waitstaff if you are in a restaurant.

What comes after the basics: e.g., chewing with your mouth closed, no elbows on the table, proper handling of cutlery?

(While I was not raised in a barn, my parents, albeit well-educated, were from a very different culture, so we received little training of this nature.)