OP, I am 34 and had my first at 31. Overall, my body is better than it was pre-baby, but it has taken work and a willingness to let go of things that aren't going to change right now.
My weight (strictly by numbers) is down a smidge, like 5 lbs, but overall I have much more muscle mass and am more toned, therefore I am 2 sizes down from pre-baby. I have, oddly, much more core strength than pre-baby. I found a gym routine that works really well for me, I have a supportive partner who actually prefers it if I'm not there in the AM (it "throws their routine off"), and my gym time is limited and therefore precious. I am not content to hang out on the elliptical with People magazine anymore. That has made a big difference.
Now, I do have loose skin around my belly (once the post baby weight left, I didn't exactly snap back like a rubber band, le sigh) and some stretch marks. I'm not a model of perfect female beauty by any stretch of the imagination. But I love my newfound strength, and I'll take the stretch marks gladly, in exchange for DC+my newly toned shoulders.

I think you're fighting two battles - the post-baby thing and the post-30/35/40 thing. My body was a little thinner before I had my daughter at 36, but now at 42, it still looks pretty good. My stomach is only slightly less toned and I'm actually running faster mile times than I was before. (though I had to cut my distances a bit - I'm more tired now.) I do have to work out daily and eat pretty well to achieve this, though, so at some point you may have to lower your standards just a tad if you don't have a ton of time to spend on this.

Absolutely you can do it. There might be some small changes, like if I bend over the skin on my tummy is looser than it used to be. (Standing up my stomach is flat - I just need to be ok with it.) You can't beat yourself up - your body did an amazing thing. Today is a great day to get outside and go for a walk. Work up to more challenging workouts. How old is your baby?

I had a baby at 38 and look exactly the same as I did before getting pregnant--about 7 lbs above my ideal weight, no stretch marks, boobs the same.

Yes it's possible, and probably has a lot to do with genetics, at least in my case.

I was always slim and never worked out before I had kids. I leaned on my good genetics. After having 2 kids I found myself 40lbs over weight and I looked awful.

It took 3 years, but I have a better body than when I was 25. When I was 25 I was simply slim. Now I'm slim and FIT. And YES, I have visible abs. Luckily I did not get stretch marks and my abs did not separate. I am in the best shape of my life. I have wider hips, but with my slimmer waist, I look better than ever.

No, I do not starve myself. I did count calories when I was losing weight and suspect I now eat about 1800/day to maintain.

I do weights 3 days a week, pilates 2 days a week, and go a long run with friends one day a week. I also move every single day, normally a 2 mile walk with the dog.

Pilates has really been a great body shaper for me. It has worked miracles on my butt and stomach (plus of course eating the right kinds of foods).

It has not been easy changing a life time of poor habits and lack of exercise and has taken 3 years to get me here, but I have found a love for exercise and the results I see in the mirror and the way I feel keep me on track.

I work out with a group of 5 women at the gym, all of us are mothers in our 30s and 40s and everyone is rocking a great body.

I think part of what you notice is just from normal aging. I have a friend who never had kids and, even though she is VERY thin, her waist to hip ratio has changed and her boobs are beginning to sag. Regardless, you will still get more tone and lose some weight from diet and exercise. I have, but I can't change my wider rib cage (though it helps to balance my wider hips) or the sagging bike tire around my belly, even though I'm in good shape and have strong abs. It's ok though, I no longer like the look I strived for in my twenties. My husband likes my round ass and I do too.

I think how your stomach shapes up has a lot to do with your body type. I had my first at 42 and my stomach was looking pretty close to its pre-baby state by 6 mo post-partum, but I'm long-waisted and have never carried much weight on my stomach--it all goes to the hips.

If I had the time to do all the exercise I did pre-baby, I wouldn't be all that different. A smallish pooch and less perky boobs, but other than that, nothing has changed all that much. Oh if only I had the luxury of daily workouts, yoga 3x/week, and long bike rides!

Not in my case. I am 5 years PP and certain things have never gone back to normal. I have about 15 pounds I need to lose but even if I did, my ribcage and hips would still be bigger. I had a pretty big baby and those things never contracted back to the way they were before. But my son is the joy of my life and he's totally worth it. I was 31 when I had him.

I am thinner than I was prebaby, and my arms and shoulders are really toned from carrying him around, but my abs aren't as firm, and my boobs are smaller.

But I look decent with clothes on, and I don't hate my post-baby body like I thought I would.

I am one year postpartum.

I think it depends on the body. I am 43 now, but had my child when I was 35. I never got stretch marks, so that was one thing I did not have to deal with. I agree with the pp's who say lift. That is what I did, and my body is as close to to pre baby that it can be. My advice would be to not give up on yourself, eat healthy, drink water, lift weights. Your body will transform. It may not be perfect, but you should notice a difference.

No. You will never have your pre-baby body. You will never have the muscles you had prebaby in your belly ever again, just like RG3 will never have the same knee he had before the injury.

You will never have the same amount of sleep and the same amount of time to yourself.

It's okay though, you can't have 1 without the other. Getting to the point that it is okay is more important.

You can juice and starve yourself and run marathon after marathon to prove that you are "in shape" or at least trying. You can get a boob job and a tummy tuck and botox to try to look like the prebaby self.

Just love the body you have, eat healthy and work out. Don't obsess about what you had before.

I had my kids at 34 and 36. From my perspective, it is possible to get back into very good shape if you really work hard on it but your body will never be prebaby again. Stretch marks fade over time and that initial post partum sag tightens up but it won't go completely away unless you have some sort of surgery to correct it. Personally, I'd rather have sag/pooch than surgery.

I didn't get stretch marks but sag/pooch wise it was pretty clear that my torso would never be the same post babies. There are some women who are lucky enough to have their bodies snap right back...but don't count on that. At any rate, I think that our bodies would change over time just due to natural aging processes whether we had kids or not. To some degree it's inevitable, it's not something that I fret about.

How far PP are you? I had my kids at 35 and 38. I look basically the same. I didn't get stretch marks in my stomach though. You can do much about those. I think that a lot if it it luck and genetics. Are you lifting weighs? Don't run. Things will just get saggier.

Or am I just kidding myself? When I look in the mirror all I see is fat, sag and stretch marks. Does this really happen that older women get back into shape after the baby? Maybe if someone could point me to before and after pics it would help motivate me. I just feel like I look awful and nothing is going to fix it.