Op here, I do have major self esteem issues to the point where I feel horrible even for my friends for even liking me. I had a bf for 4 years a few years back and I felt like I was holding him back like he shouldn't waste his time with me. So I broke up with him, I never loved him but we were comfortable together.

My ideal relationship would be where a man who is single doesn't want to be alone either. Doesn't want to come home to an empty house, has his meals ready fit him, dishes and laundry done for him. And I'm just like his maid and companion in the evenings. That way he could still date if he wanted to if he didn't really like me. I don't know where to find this guy though.

If you felt strange and embarrassed even in your 20s, the problem is you. I would suggest therapy to figure out your issues. 31 is not too old at all. Dating is a normal way to get to know someone. Why would you want to be in an established relationship with someone you don't even know? Maybe you have self esteem issues and are afraid no one will want to be with you after getting to know you.

Wait till you are 50, you will laugh thinking your self to old to date a 30. you have to make things happen.

Anonymous wrote:Is it just me or do others feel like they are too old to date? I'm 31 and just feel like I should have been married 5 plus years ago and have at least 1 or 2 kids by now. I don't even try to date and haven't for years because I'm way too old. In my opinion dating is for teenagers. I've always felt like I'm a late bloomer and too old for things like drinking, dating and children.

I know some woman have their first child at 40+ or find a relationship at 50 but even in my 20's I felt strange and embarrassed. Maybe it's just me?

first you are not too old. second, really the question is do you want to date, have a relationship, desire to marry and have kids? if yes, thn as PPs have said, you need to think about how to overcome you shyness if you want to date.

if you are attractive and in shape, do you have hobbies? what do you do on the weekends - do you get out the house? do you go to museums or galleries?

are you even open to meeting a guy? what's your type - age, ethnicity, never married/divorced? this city is full of possibilities but it's entirely up to you to take action.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:tell your married friends to ask their husbands for a hookup with their single guy friends.

I don't have any friends here in the dc area. I moved here for a job a few years ago. I also don't have co workers just a boss. I'm very shy and introverted. I just work, that's my life.

Dating isn't your problem. You are your problem. You can't use being shy and introverted as an excuse for everything. What if you give birth to an extroverted kid (happened to me)?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:tell your married friends to ask their husbands for a hookup with their single guy friends.

I don't have any friends here in the dc area. I moved here for a job a few years ago. I also don't have co workers just a boss. I'm very shy and introverted. I just work, that's my life.

OP, it's easy to get hung up with work as a way to not deal with the need/desire to socialize. Maybe you have social anxiety. I do and it has taken a lot of work to get out of that situation. Couple of things in mind: Start with maybe a group at a church or synagogue where it is a non-threatening way to meet people. Join a softball or volleyball league - doesn't have to be ex Div 1 players, all skill groups are welcomed.

then move.

Anonymous wrote:tell your married friends to ask their husbands for a hookup with their single guy friends.

I don't have any friends here in the dc area. I moved here for a job a few years ago. I also don't have co workers just a boss. I'm very shy and introverted. I just work, that's my life.

No way. People in retirement homes date and find love. Talk to your friends and tell them you are looking.

OP, people find love at all stages of life. Be open, friendly, and love will happen.

tell your married friends to ask their husbands for a hookup with their single guy friends.

Anonymous wrote:maybe you should seek an arranged marriage? i'll be 31 soon and i get the feeling of wanting to be settled already, but dating in my 20s was aLOT of fun.

I would love an arranged marriage but I don't know how to go about that. I'm white and 4th generation American so my culture doesn't do that. I just hate the dating and meeting part. No aspect of dating to me is fun it's all work and awful. I'd like to meet a guy and just be in a relationship from the beginning.

maybe you should seek an arranged marriage? i'll be 31 soon and i get the feeling of wanting to be settled already, but dating in my 20s was aLOT of fun.

No way! I did not even get married until I was 34 and had my first child at 35. Get yourself out there and have fun!!!

Is it just me or do others feel like they are too old to date? I'm 31 and just feel like I should have been married 5 plus years ago and have at least 1 or 2 kids by now. I don't even try to date and haven't for years because I'm way too old. In my opinion dating is for teenagers. I've always felt like I'm a late bloomer and too old for things like drinking, dating and children.

I know some woman have their first child at 40+ or find a relationship at 50 but even in my 20's I felt strange and embarrassed. Maybe it's just me?