On whether IVF is necessary... as PPs indicated, it's so individual. Some women with endo get and stay pregnant without much trouble, while others don't. I don't think any of us can know whether it may be necessary for you or not.
For me, IVF is necessary. My severe endo was discovered when I had an emergency laparotomy for an ectopic after 1.5 years of TTC. I was told then that if I managed to get pregnant again another ectopic was likely, and another abdominal surgery would be dangerous. So we went the IVF route, and eventually had a baby. I always wondered, though, whether we truly needed the IVF or whether we could have had a healthy pregnancy on our own. In January I found out, when I had another ectopic pregnancy. I was lucky that one was easily resolved, unlike the first. We won't take any chances again.
As for the pain: I think it's hard to say. I had a very rough recovery from my laparotomy (but it was a pretty physically traumatic surgery) with pain for months, but after my c-section I had a super easy recovery. When my OB was stitching me up after the c-section he mentioned that my bowel is now fused to my abdominal wall. I asked whether that was adhesions from the endo or scar tissue from the previous surgery, and he said there was no way to know. And I guess it doesn't really matter. I have lots of scar tissue binding things up in there and causing pain, whatever the cause of it is.
Best of luck to you as you navigate the fertility treatment options. I hope you end up with the baby you desire.
