Anonymous
04/20/2014 20:31
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Do you call him out on it? Sounds like he's been getting away with it for a while so he continues to do it as a power play.
Going forward I would tell him up front that you expect everyone to be treated the same way and if not, you will not be participating. In this circumstance to spare the kids' feelings I would I have covered that one basket is missing so let's divide up the rest so everyone can enjoy. If the kids are younger/older and able to deal, I would leave everything behind and tell him that until he can be respectful of all of you, you will not allow your kids to participate.
Going forward I would tell him up front that you expect everyone to be treated the same way and if not, you will not be participating. In this circumstance to spare the kids' feelings I would I have covered that one basket is missing so let's divide up the rest so everyone can enjoy. If the kids are younger/older and able to deal, I would leave everything behind and tell him that until he can be respectful of all of you, you will not allow your kids to participate.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 20:29
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
This is my dad , except its money and is tied to religious devotion. (Wierd on so many levels, I know!). We don't really see much of him anymore.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 20:18
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Whoa! Sounds like my FIL. Endure him yourself, but shield you kids from him. Talk to sibs and partners to warn them and recognize patterns. Don't let crazy grandpa manipulate you. Good luck.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 20:14
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Anonymous wrote:I can't believe the siblings have not united against him and refused to play this game.
Why is yr sister ok with just her child getting the gift? If it was my family, one of my siblings would have forbidden any kid to get their gift, until every child had the exact same gift.
My ILs and my parents would never even think of doing something like this to their grandkids. And neither my siblings nor my DHs siblings would allow anything like this to happen.
What's wrong with you people?
+1000. It's hard when you have grown up with this kind of manipulation to break free of it- I know. But you have to for your kids.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 20:12
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
I can't believe the siblings have not united against him and refused to play this game.
Why is yr sister ok with just her child getting the gift? If it was my family, one of my siblings would have forbidden any kid to get their gift, until every child had the exact same gift.
My ILs and my parents would never even think of doing something like this to their grandkids. And neither my siblings nor my DHs siblings would allow anything like this to happen.
What's wrong with you people?
Why is yr sister ok with just her child getting the gift? If it was my family, one of my siblings would have forbidden any kid to get their gift, until every child had the exact same gift.
My ILs and my parents would never even think of doing something like this to their grandkids. And neither my siblings nor my DHs siblings would allow anything like this to happen.
What's wrong with you people?
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:56
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Do the other grand kids send thank you notes? Do they appear grateful?
It depends who who he "likes" better that day. Usually, I'm dissed child but today it was the other child and I think she was particularly hurt because her daughter is usually treated okay.
Yikes. Again I say- don't play this sick game. Keep your children away from this shit.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:55
Subject: Re:Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Anonymous wrote:Buy an age and holiday appropriate present and keep it in your car. If you see the child being left out, call him out on it. Open your eyes really wide say "Oh, how terrible! You forgot about Johnny! The same thing happened last time! That's okay. I think I have something that will fix it!" Then give the child a present. Keep doing that until Grandpa Dipshit gets the hint.
I think this is a good idea so that none of kids feel left out/hurt, but Grandpa Dipshit knows what he is doing. I speak from experience. There is someone in my family who pulled this kind of bs all the time.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:53
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Anonymous wrote:Do the other grand kids send thank you notes? Do they appear grateful?
It depends who who he "likes" better that day. Usually, I'm dissed child but today it was the other child and I think she was particularly hurt because her daughter is usually treated okay.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:50
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
What does he say when you ask him about it?
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:49
Subject: Re:Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Anonymous wrote:Buy an age and holiday appropriate present and keep it in your car. If you see the child being left out, call him out on it. Open your eyes really wide say "Oh, how terrible! You forgot about Johnny! The same thing happened last time! That's okay. I think I have something that will fix it!" Then give the child a present. Keep doing that until Grandpa Dipshit gets the hint.
This is a great suggestion, but I don't think he will get the hint. He may like to leave people out and see them
feel bad. That's why I suggested the OP stay away from this situation. It will not get better for her kids IMO.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:42
Subject: Re:Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Buy an age and holiday appropriate present and keep it in your car. If you see the child being left out, call him out on it. Open your eyes really wide say "Oh, how terrible! You forgot about Johnny! The same thing happened last time! That's okay. I think I have something that will fix it!" Then give the child a present. Keep doing that until Grandpa Dipshit gets the hint.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:38
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Anonymous wrote:Keep your children away from this manipulative crazy.
+1. You and your children don't need that. Seek healthy relationships and model them so DC will grow up mentally and emotionally intact.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:37
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Do the other grand kids send thank you notes? Do they appear grateful?
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:33
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
Keep your children away from this manipulative crazy.
Anonymous
04/20/2014 19:30
Subject: Grandpa who likes to make one of his children feel bad
My father chooses to make one of his children feel bad each holiday. For example, he has four grandchildren three with one daughter and one with the other one. This year he decided to buy Easter baskets only for his grandkid's through one daughter and did nothing for the others kid. Everyone spent the day together too. They are similar ages. It's seems like he's always doing something to make someone feel bad. What makes someone do that? Your thoughts?