Anonymous wrote:When he and Mom don't have enough $ to live on, Should OP still MYOB?

She can help them fill out applications for public assistance.

It will be her problem when he has a medical issue be it stroke, heart, dementia etc. and she has to organize assisted living for both her father and mother. I had to deal with this and we now pay 6,000 per month for care.

When he and Mom don't have enough $ to live on, Should OP still MYOB?

Your mother should have looked out for herself.

I sympathize, OP.

PPs may tell you that parents are not obligated to pay for college, but when you see your parents spending a ton of money on themselves, and not helping out their young adult children, it feels as if you are worth less than their toys, doesn't it?

This happened to my mother and her 6 siblings. They were left practically destitute (my mother for a while didn't have enough to eat), while their parents lived in luxury in Switzerland. When my grandmother finally went bankrupt through mismanaging her money and overspending, she SUED her children for support (this was in a country with laws in place for family support). Her children went above and beyond to pay for their undeserving mother, to the end of her life.

How is communication between your father and yourself?
Can you ask him what he thinks will happen if/when he runs out of money?
What was his rationale for not paying for your college?

Your mom needs to step up and take some control. She should be aware of what kinds of retirement and medical benefits they have available to them and be able to speak with him about it. Both must have started Social Security planning at least.

Encourage your mom to grow a spine - for her own sake.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you bringing up him not paying for your college? You sound jealous. He is DONE with all obligations to you. If he wants to get a degree, he's going to get a degree.

Well, for one thing it has resulted in siblings that are not financially successful (successful in other ways) and will be unable to help if/when he and/or my mom reach the end of their (very small ) retirement savings.

It is not a fathers responsibility to pay of college. It is also not your fathers fault that your siblings are not financially successful.

Entitlement much?

+1

Also not your problem. DO you suspect dementia?

Good for him! Myob.

Anonymous wrote:Hello Food Stamps, HEAP, etc.

+ 1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you bringing up him not paying for your college? You sound jealous. He is DONE with all obligations to you. If he wants to get a degree, he's going to get a degree.

Well, for one thing it has resulted in siblings that are not financially successful (successful in other ways) and will be unable to help if/when he and/or my mom reach the end of their (very small ) retirement savings.

It is not a fathers responsibility to pay of college. It is also not your fathers fault that your siblings are not financially successful.

Entitlement much?

Anonymous wrote:Why are you bringing up him not paying for your college? You sound jealous. He is DONE with all obligations to you. If he wants to get a degree, he's going to get a degree.

I agree. My father retired at age 52 and then went back to school to get a teaching degree. He is now even coaching golf and football and couldn't be happier.

If your father wants another degree let him, it's his life. I am also ok, since he didn't pay for my college but my brothers also did not fair so well. They are grown adults and if they want a life change I am more than sure they can find a way to get motivated and pay for school themselves.

Let him be.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you bringing up him not paying for your college? You sound jealous. He is DONE with all obligations to you. If he wants to get a degree, he's going to get a degree.

Well, for one thing it has resulted in siblings that are not financially successful (successful in other ways) and will be unable to help if/when he and/or my mom reach the end of their (very small ) retirement savings.

Why are you bringing up him not paying for your college? You sound jealous. He is DONE with all obligations to you. If he wants to get a degree, he's going to get a degree.

Hello Food Stamps, HEAP, etc.

My dad is near 70 and has done little to save for his retirement He has always made a very good salary, but fully spends it on "toys" - new new boat, luxury car, $2 million house that they are underwater on etc. He is very healthy and is working full time at his successful medical practice.

He started an Executive MBA program in January and I can't stop thinking about how stupid this is. He is clearly enjoying the classes, but it is so much money. ($100K) He has always had a bit of a God complex and I think this is his latest effort to prove that he has decades left to live.

He might and I hope he does, but there is also my mom's well being to consider. But he can't work forever and just seems insane to drop $100K on a degree at age 70 when you have virtually no retirement funds. My mother is just along for the ride and has never put her foot down as she was a SAHM and has never worked.

This man did not pay for the college education of his children for what it's worth. I turned out fine , but my brothers have really struggled. I am worried I will end up needing to support one or both of them in some capacity .