Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:20     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
I would have my kids call her by her first name. She sounds like a bitch and I wouldn't trust her to have a relationship with my kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:18     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Oh she did, did she?

Well, strongly consider not introducing her and them. Just overlook it without drama. If you really must, just introduce her as Mrs. ____, the bride's mother.

I would probably go into full protective mode with her. Do not let her interact with your children without your supervision. She will badmouth you to them, or otherwise say something poisonous to them. This type always does. She always did to you, didn't she?
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:15     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Anonymous wrote:Leave the kids out of it. You said you've moved on, so be polite to her and don't engage. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of letting her see you or your children be anything other than polite and gracious.


That's generally my attitude. But my kids are in the wedding.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:15     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Anonymous wrote:How do you have a "great relationship" with a dad who went along with banning you from his wedding? Does he hold any responsibility for his actions?


He has never really apologized for letting her call all the shots. We talk about it and he sees it as she and I as equals, demanding things from him. I have explained numerous times that I, as a child, should be 1) the priority and 2) am not an equal to his wife. The conversation generally stops there.

Again, I only got one dad so I am doing the best I can with it. At some point the anger gets you nowhere anymore.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:14     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Leave the kids out of it. You said you've moved on, so be polite to her and don't engage. I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of letting her see you or your children be anything other than polite and gracious.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:13     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
How do you have a "great relationship" with a dad who went along with banning you from his wedding? Does he hold any responsibility for his actions?
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:13     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Anonymous wrote:Since you have such an awful relationship, have them call her Mrs. Lastname. She didn't want you in her life, so why would she want your kids to call her grandma?

Your dad was a spineless imbecile for ignoring you at his wedding to her. It's one thing for it to be an adults only affair, but to "Ban" you and keep you out of his life? He is equally responsible for that decision.

I'm glad you have a good relationship, but I wouldn't have been so forgiving. I am fiercely loyal but if someone was so disloyal to me, I would cut them out of my life. Who wants that kind of loser in their life?


Oh, I have been down this road. However, we don't get to pick our parents. To me it has been better to forgive him and still have some positive experiences with him then to shut him (and I suppose my sister) out entirely.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:11     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are travelling out to my 1/2 sister's wedding soon, where my children will meet my step mother for the first time. She is a horrible, horrible person - particularly to me. It started when she banned my presence at her wedding to my father when I was six, and has gone downhill from there. She has never wanted to acknowledge that my dad had a life, a wife and a kid before her and has taken whatever steps necessary to enforce that. I've made my peace with it, and have a great relationship with my sister and dad.

Anyhow, what the heck do I tell my kids to call her? Her first name? I usually have them call adults Mr. and Mrs. Lastname - but that also seems weird.



Thoughts?


How do you ban a 6 yr old from her parents' wedding? Your dad went along with this? THAT'S WHO YOU NEED TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH!
IJS!!!


Yes, you are correct, and I did and still do. He is absolutely to blame for a lot of it.

Still, this is the woman who wore my grandmother's jewelry to my wedding and then whispered to me that I would never get any of it.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:10     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Since you have such an awful relationship, have them call her Mrs. Lastname. She didn't want you in her life, so why would she want your kids to call her grandma?

Your dad was a spineless imbecile for ignoring you at his wedding to her. It's one thing for it to be an adults only affair, but to "Ban" you and keep you out of his life? He is equally responsible for that decision.

I'm glad you have a good relationship, but I wouldn't have been so forgiving. I am fiercely loyal but if someone was so disloyal to me, I would cut them out of my life. Who wants that kind of loser in their life?
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:09     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Anonymous wrote:We are travelling out to my 1/2 sister's wedding soon, where my children will meet my step mother for the first time. She is a horrible, horrible person - particularly to me. It started when she banned my presence at her wedding to my father when I was six, and has gone downhill from there. She has never wanted to acknowledge that my dad had a life, a wife and a kid before her and has taken whatever steps necessary to enforce that. I've made my peace with it, and have a great relationship with my sister and dad.

Anyhow, what the heck do I tell my kids to call her? Her first name? I usually have them call adults Mr. and Mrs. Lastname - but that also seems weird.



Thoughts?


How do you ban a 6 yr old from her parents' wedding? Your dad went along with this? THAT'S WHO YOU NEED TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH!
IJS!!!
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:09     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Cruella or first name.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:08     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
You know, Cruella really would work for her.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:08     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
Anonymous wrote:"Cruella, this is Larla. Larla, this is...Cruella, what would you like Larla and Larlo to call you?"


This, exactly. It is polite to call people what they wish to be called (within reason). Even if they are horrible.
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:06     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
"Cruella, this is Larla. Larla, this is...Cruella, what would you like Larla and Larlo to call you?"
Anonymous
Post 04/17/2014 12:05     Subject: S/o designations. What should my kids call my horrible step mother?
We are travelling out to my 1/2 sister's wedding soon, where my children will meet my step mother for the first time. She is a horrible, horrible person - particularly to me. It started when she banned my presence at her wedding to my father when I was six, and has gone downhill from there. She has never wanted to acknowledge that my dad had a life, a wife and a kid before her and has taken whatever steps necessary to enforce that. I've made my peace with it, and have a great relationship with my sister and dad.

Anyhow, what the heck do I tell my kids to call her? Her first name? I usually have them call adults Mr. and Mrs. Lastname - but that also seems weird.



Thoughts?