I second Teri kozlpwski or one of her associates. However, you might want to have a dev ped take a look before jumping into ot. Want to make sure you are getting a full picture and a dev ped can help with that.

Contact an OT like Teri Koslowski at ITS. She can help you. Good luck and hang in there!

Who does most of his caregiving?

A few thoughts on what to try

Some kinds of stimuli are more calming and organizing than others.

Slow rhythmic input that is predictable (e.g. patting his back in a slow rhythm, instrumental music with slow deep rhythms, rocking in a rocking chair, repeating a single syllable like "sssshhhhh" in a low voice).

Deep pressure (e.g. wrapping him tightly in a blanket, giving him something weighted to hold or lie on him, hugging him tightly to you, rubbing his back with deep pressure, joint compression if you can find an OT to teach you)

Sucking, chewing or blowing. (e.g. a bottle or pacifier, getting him to engage in blowing on your hands)

Lowering the lights

Another thought is that some kids can tolerate one kind of stimuli but get overwhelmed by multiple stimuli. So wrapping them in a blanket, or singing, or rocking, or giving them a weighted teddy bear might work, but doing all 4 together would be a disaster. Turn down the lights, turn off your voice, and provide deep pressure with a swaddle or a massage. Or stay close without touching and sing quietly etc . . .

Finally, while I wouldn't jump to any conclusions based on just this symptom, some sessions with an OT can be very helpful in sorting out the best sensory strategies for a child. If this behavior is new at all, I'd also make sure you're talking to your ped. Sometimes when there's an increase in sensory seeking or avoiding, the child is dealing with some kind of discomfort or medical issue.

Do you think he might like a swaddle or heavy blanket? (A weigjted one?) does going outside when he is upset help at all? I'm sorry - it sounds hard. My headbanger is ASD, but he is doing well now - he is 9.

Does he have a favorite toy? A stuffed animal or even just trying to distract him by handing him something, like a nubbly ball.

I would definitely talk with your pediatrician about this.

The rocking and headbanging does sound like a stim to me.

Try singing or humming. Pick a song that you only use to comfort.

He may be more open to being held if you bounce on a yoga ball at the same time.

I would talk to the ped. for an autism screening. My son got very independent from about 2-4 and was not very cuddly. Now at 5, he is very sweet and affectionate so it may be too hard to tell at this age. I would be very concerned with the rocking and head banging.

He's still very young, but my 14 month old is showing some sensory seeking and avoidance behaviors. He is constantly rocking, pushing his head into people and walls, that sort of thing. I'm giving it time, but am somewhat concerned. I am having a hard time though when he's upset or hurt. He hates to be held and pushes away from me, but also wants me at the same time. I try being nearby and rubbing his back or just using my voice, but haven't figured out what to do to help him yet.
I could use some suggestions. It's really hard when he's hysterical and there's nothing I can do to help.