Anonymous
04/12/2014 11:00
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
Get a job or stfu
Anonymous
04/12/2014 10:57
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
I do spend money on my hair (going gray quickly so I have to get it colored often), bikini waxes, and pedicures. But all those things are kind of necessary to just looking decently ok. If you're going to wear sandals or open toe shoes, you need a pedicure and I suck at doing it myself. Same with swim suits in summer. I don't spend a lot on clothes, makeup, shoes, or handbags. In fact, I'm sure he spends more than me on clothing and shoes. He insists on Brooks Brothers and Cole Haan.
I was not on board about the car. I would care less about the lunches etc. if we weren't still paying that stupid thing off. Talk about a waste of money. Oh well, I guess it's a done deal now. I still think he should try to spend less though. It's like he doesn't even think about it. He just spends, spends, spends.
I was not on board about the car. I would care less about the lunches etc. if we weren't still paying that stupid thing off. Talk about a waste of money. Oh well, I guess it's a done deal now. I still think he should try to spend less though. It's like he doesn't even think about it. He just spends, spends, spends.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 10:34
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
Are you on track for your big goals?
Anonymous
04/12/2014 10:34
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
Do you do anything that could also be unnecessary?
Do you get haircuts? Dye your hair?
You can dye your hair at home and get haircuts for $10 at the cheap places. Do you ever pay more than you need to for these services?
Do you always buy your clothes at the cheapest place? You never pay for anything you could do yourself - never had a manicure or pedicure?
You are being petty OP. Your husband spending $15 on lunch that he can well afford is helping support some young server as he works his way through school.
Do you get haircuts? Dye your hair?
You can dye your hair at home and get haircuts for $10 at the cheap places. Do you ever pay more than you need to for these services?
Do you always buy your clothes at the cheapest place? You never pay for anything you could do yourself - never had a manicure or pedicure?
You are being petty OP. Your husband spending $15 on lunch that he can well afford is helping support some young server as he works his way through school.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 10:33
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
I think you're out of line, honestly. He's not you, he doesn't have to think like you. At that income level, lunch at Chili's is hardly extravagant. If your budget is tight, look at that car, but don't go nuts about his lunch.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 10:31
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
I think that if you have a budget and part of that budget is "fun money" for each of you, you have to let it go.
If you're saving and spending wisely in other areas, I can imagine he feels like he deserves treats - he works hard, he deserves to spend money when and where he wants.
To a certain extent, i agree with him. Packing your lunch every day may work for you, but if you're working a hard day and everyone else is going to lunch, then gosh darn it, going out to lunch is just something you do.
But again, that's IF he is wise with his money in other areas.
If you are saving and spending wisely in other areas, for the love of your marriage don't nag him over a $15 lunch. Maybe gently chide him on clothes, but the bulk of it you need to let go.
If you're saving and spending wisely in other areas, I can imagine he feels like he deserves treats - he works hard, he deserves to spend money when and where he wants.
To a certain extent, i agree with him. Packing your lunch every day may work for you, but if you're working a hard day and everyone else is going to lunch, then gosh darn it, going out to lunch is just something you do.
But again, that's IF he is wise with his money in other areas.
If you are saving and spending wisely in other areas, for the love of your marriage don't nag him over a $15 lunch. Maybe gently chide him on clothes, but the bulk of it you need to let go.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 10:27
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
Anonymous wrote:It's a waste though. That's what I want him to see. I don't mind spending money on "big" stuff (like vacations or private school for the kids) but why spend 15 at Chili's when you can bring just as nice a lunch from home? Probably healthier too.
So enjoying lunch is a waste? if he likes chillis he has certainly earned the right to eat there without anyone nagging over him. Jeezus, some women here.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 10:20
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's a waste though. That's what I want him to see. I don't mind spending money on "big" stuff (like vacations or private school for the kids) but why spend 15 at Chili's when you can bring just as nice a lunch from home? Probably healthier too.
But that's your judgment. Your DH obviously enjoys the cuisine at chili's, or enjoys the break from the workday, or dislikes packing lunch enough so that it's worth it to him to buy it. Would you be happier if he were eating at cityzen?
We have a similar income and my DH spends on stupid stuff like lunches too--and I wish it were chili's or a diner! I made a conscious decision not to nickel and dime him or even really pay attention to it. It's not that I don't feel it's my place because he makes 90% of the money, it's more that I have seen what that kind of petty conflict can do to a marriage. You bug him about lunches, so he starts bugging you about makeup or shoes or other things you spend on that he thinks are even stupider than lunches out, and it's all downhill from there. If money were tight that would be different, but we live within our means and we're lucky that a few lunches aren't going to derail our long term goals. Think big picture and remember your most important priorities.
PP here. The $1000 a month car payment I think is insane, but presumably you were on board with that decision?
Anonymous
04/12/2014 10:19
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
Anonymous wrote:It's a waste though. That's what I want him to see. I don't mind spending money on "big" stuff (like vacations or private school for the kids) but why spend 15 at Chili's when you can bring just as nice a lunch from home? Probably healthier too.
But that's your judgment. Your DH obviously enjoys the cuisine at chili's, or enjoys the break from the workday, or dislikes packing lunch enough so that it's worth it to him to buy it. Would you be happier if he were eating at cityzen?
We have a similar income and my DH spends on stupid stuff like lunches too--and I wish it were chili's or a diner! I made a conscious decision not to nickel and dime him or even really pay attention to it. It's not that I don't feel it's my place because he makes 90% of the money, it's more that I have seen what that kind of petty conflict can do to a marriage. You bug him about lunches, so he starts bugging you about makeup or shoes or other things you spend on that he thinks are even stupider than lunches out, and it's all downhill from there. If money were tight that would be different, but we live within our means and we're lucky that a few lunches aren't going to derail our long term goals. Think big picture and remember your most important priorities.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 09:52
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
I wouldn't be okay with this op.
I think your best bet is to sit down with a financial planner so that you're not the bad guy. They will go over expenses and tell him it's too much.
I think your best bet is to sit down with a financial planner so that you're not the bad guy. They will go over expenses and tell him it's too much.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 09:51
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
It's a waste though. That's what I want him to see. I don't mind spending money on "big" stuff (like vacations or private school for the kids) but why spend 15 at Chili's when you can bring just as nice a lunch from home? Probably healthier too.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 09:49
Subject: Re:How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
You don't. He's entitled to spend his money. Lunch at Chili's or a diner? Really? You are being petty.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 09:49
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
250-700k ish. It varies. Last couple of years were good because of the market but I have a feeling that bonuses going forward will be much smaller nice market recorrects.
Anonymous
04/12/2014 09:46
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
As in 500k??
Anonymous
04/12/2014 09:45
Subject: How to get DH to cut out unnecessary spending?
I hope this doesn't sound like a "bragplaint." But I don't know where else to ask this question. My problem is that DH makes a relatively high salary (mid six figures) so he feels entitled to spend money pretty freely. I hate checking the credit card bill and seeing that he spent sixty dollars on lunch this week or a couple hundred on clothes or stuff from Amazon, etc. It adds up and it's just stupid stuff. Lunch at Chili's or a random diner? Gross. Pack your lunch from home like I do. And he doesn't "need" any more clothes. His closet is stuffed as it is. Plus he has an expensive car that he is paying off at ~1,000 a month. I didn't want him to buy it but he basically insisted. My salary is much smaller (~30k I work pt) so I don't feel like I have a "right" to just say no flat out.
So how do you get your spouses to reign in their spending without getting into a big argument?
So how do you get your spouses to reign in their spending without getting into a big argument?