I have a hard time believing that you had $40K worth of home maintenance that couldn't be delayed for a month or two. The only things that I can think of that are non-postponable are A/C, furnace, refrigerator and internal (plumbing/electrical). Otherwise, everything else can wait. In my first house, I bought a 30-year old house and I had to budget. I did have a few months where I had to wash dishes by hand when I couldn't afford to get the dishwasher replaced or...

Not OP, but noticeably missing from your list is a roof.

The key is to set up a budget that allows you to replenish your savings. In your budget you should include line items for food, for entertainment, for home maintenance. If you have a home maintenance disaster, you look to see how much you have available to spend. For many home maintenance issues, you can defer replacement/maintenance until later. For example, if the dishwasher breaks and you've already replaced the furnace during the winter, and you don't have enough in the home maintenance pot, you defer repairing the dishwasher for 2-3 months until you can afford it from the home maintenance budget and wash dishes by hand. If the washing machine breaks, you might have to make some trips to the laundromat for a couple of months. Or you can borrow from other pots of money, like your food budget. Perhaps you've budgeted $200/month for meals at work (that's less than $10 a day with an average of 22-23 work days per month). You can bring your lunch for a lot less and save $100 that month. You can opt to save your entertainment budget for a month to speed up how long it takes.

I have a hard time believing that you had $40K worth of home maintenance that couldn't be delayed for a month or two. The only things that I can think of that are non-postponable are A/C, furnace, refrigerator and internal (plumbing/electrical). Otherwise, everything else can wait. In my first house, I bought a 30-year old house and I had to budget. I did have a few months where I had to wash dishes by hand when I couldn't afford to get the dishwasher replaced or

Wait till you get the insurance quote....

What did you spend $40 K on? Did you not examine the house before purchasing?

Thanks guys- its good to know that I'm not the only one. And I am very mindful that I still have a job, a roof over my head and two healthy kids.

But holy crap, that tax bill.

OP, I've had a really rough year financially too. I would never cry poverty because it would be disingenuous. But, when you have money anxiety which you've managed by having significant savings, it's stressful not to be where you want them to be. Anyway, I sat down and made a list of all of the bills so I would know how much we had left over for food, gas, clothes, vacations, savings, etc. And, now we are working on things like not wasting food, not overbuying clothes. We are putting vacations on hold for the next year - which honestly isn't that big of a hardship because one of my kids isn't old enough to do what I really want to do. I think that within two years we will be back to where I want to be and then things will be quite a bit less stressful. But during this time, at least twice a month I check our savings and spending, which is kind of crazy. It helps though.

And, for those saying get a real problem, you are right. I know my money anxiety has no basis in reality. So, I would never talk about this in real life - only on an anonymous forum.

Wow, OP, I could have written your post. No advise here, just commiserating! Try to enjoy the new house.

Anonymous wrote:OP, sounds like this year was an anomaly. If you've put $40K into repairs/replacements, are you done? That should free $40K to put back into savings over the course of this year, right?

I assume you max out all pre-tax retirement savings options. You should change your withholding to avoid the annual tax hit. And start automatically moving money into savings with every paycheck.

It takes time and discipline.

Thanks - OP here. It better be done. I am just so overwhelmed by it all. So so sad that we've whittled down our savings so much. Anyhow, thanks for your advice.

OP, sounds like this year was an anomaly. If you've put $40K into repairs/replacements, are you done? That should free $40K to put back into savings over the course of this year, right?

I assume you max out all pre-tax retirement savings options. You should change your withholding to avoid the annual tax hit. And start automatically moving money into savings with every paycheck.

It takes time and discipline.

Anonymous wrote:Welcome to home ownership. We put about $10k a year in our budget for home maintenance, but the first year is brutal. I wish that the
"experts" would encourage people to keep some cash back for that first year.

So you had a money pit as well? Is this a rite of passage or something?

Anonymous wrote:Shut up and get some real problems.

How do you save money...ummm....you stop whining and save money.

Helpful, thanks.

Shut up and get some real problems.

How do you save money...ummm....you stop whining and save money.

Welcome to home ownership. We put about $10k a year in our budget for home maintenance, but the first year is brutal. I wish that the
"experts" would encourage people to keep some cash back for that first year.

The obvious answer is to spend less money. Have you worked up a simple budget for your monthly expenses? If so, how much money do you have left over at the end of the month? You use that leftover money to replenish your savings.

We have a solid income but this year has been insane. We bought a house so some savings went right there, with accompanying capital gains. Then everything in our house broke -- all the big systems. We've probably spend $40K on it so far. We also just got a HUGE tax bill, as we suffer from double similar income syndrome.

Anyhow, I am feeling so so sad about our financial woes. We don't have any debt aside from a car payment and our mortgage, but can someone who has BTDT talk me through how to crawl back from this edge? I feel terrified.

What did you do to restock your piggy bank?