Anonymous wrote:OP is it possible your mom is being such a bitch due to sexual frustration?

Have you tried buying her a vibrator? I assume she is divorced or widowed or your father is simply not up to the task, but your mom really sounds like she needs a few good hard orgasms.

Ok this is funny.

Remind her that being a grandparent is a privilege and tell her to stay positive around the children because your job as parent is to protect their self-esteem.

Tell her to restrain herself from negative comments to you because you need her to be supportive.

If neither of those comments work, tell her you need to take a break for a while because she's undermining your parenting. Then do it. Maybe what you both need is some time to miss each other. Then, she may appreciate what she's missing. You'll appreciate the silence, anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Mine is the same. I can't tell her off because she's adept at turning confrontations into my fault, and I can't tell her to do things herself because she has a fine motor handicap. She fails to realize her handicap does not allow her to order people around!

So I limit contact. Only way.

Make fun of her fine motor handicap. That will shut the old bitch up.

Mine is the same. I can't tell her off because she's adept at turning confrontations into my fault, and I can't tell her to do things herself because she has a fine motor handicap. She fails to realize her handicap does not allow her to order people around!

So I limit contact. Only way.

Smile, nod, and walk away. This is the only way I can deal with it.

My mom used to be like that and I found that letting her do a few things even if I found it silly really curbed her behavior. For instance
"I don't like the clothes DS is wearing. He should really wear X and Y" "Ok mom if you want to change him that is fine with me."

"his hair is too wet, you really need to dry it." "ok, I think it is fine but if you think it is wet, you can try to dry it some more"

And mix that with you having a stance

"You shoudl change his shirt. That looks uncomfortable" "well mom, he dressed himself and we are trying to promote independence. If it is uncomfortable, he'll ask for some help fixing it"

"He likes X for dinner. WHy are you feeding him Y when we have X here?" "I want him to try different foods. He also likes X so that is what I want him to have for dinner."

By giving her some power, she has backed off A LOT because she feels like she gets a say in some things. DS and I have been living with my parents for 4 months while DH wraps up things abroad before moving back (we had to move back because I had a health issue that had to be addressed here).

OP is it possible your mom is being such a bitch due to sexual frustration?

Have you tried buying her a vibrator? I assume she is divorced or widowed or your father is simply not up to the task, but your mom really sounds like she needs a few good hard orgasms.

OP she is behaving towards you the way her mother behaved and so forth through the generations.

You need to change the dynamic of your responses to her nagging by changing your reactions and behaviors in response.

You need to actively be aware of when the nagging occurs and check yourself, try a different range of responses to see what you get in return: silence, mockery, humor, and so forth.

This will put your mom out of her comfort zone, but then change is unpleasant.

Anonymous wrote:If they ignored you, how would you feel?

Huh?

If they ignored you, how would you feel?

Limit contact. Problem solved.

Same here. They just want to feel needed, important, and in control. Sometimes I disagree out right, some times I ignore it, sometimes I actually listen.

My mom does the samething, but for EVERYTHING,, including the way I look, dress, makeup, kids, house, etc.. Before, I used to snap back at her. Now, I just ignore. Then she says, "Why don't you answer...", then I say "You won't like my answer.". She still does it but less now. She just mumbles it to herself.

Mine is too. Sometimes I ignore it and sometimes I argue with her. SOME Mothers just can't stop being mothers. They will always treat their kids as kids, not adults. Makes them feel needed, I guess.

"His hair is still wet."

"Bath water looks too cold."

"Why isn't he wearing an undershirt and socks?"

"His shirt is on backwards. Fix it or he'll be uncomfortable all day." (4 yo DS put it on)

"Did I mention his hair still looks too wet? I'm serious. Dry it now."

And so on...

Some days I find it a bit much, but today it just amused me. How can all these tiny little things drive someone so crazy? Who really cares that much about this stuff?