Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 13:07     Subject: Re:If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
It sounds as if you have a low Emotional Intelligence. Many highly intelligent people do. You'd better check that shit or you'll end up divorced.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 13:00     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you unsympathetic to their needs?

I'm a critical care/ICU doctor and sometimes, I can't bear what a big deal my DH makes out of small problems. It drives me bananas. Just want to know if I'm alone.


I am not married to a doctor, but I have many family members who are doctors.

Unlike most women, in the dating world I consider being a doctor a negative. I think becoming a doctor tends to turn MOST people into unsympathetic, arrogant, smug jerks. I might consider people who go into rheumatology, sleep medicine, and other fields like that. But generally, doctors tend to have empathy deficits.

And, since most went straight through school, they are often ignorant as to how it is to work in most office jobs. They have no understanding for what it is like to struggle to apply for jobs, promotions, stay employed, etc. they are very secure in their own jobs and feel smug about it and really tend to look down on people who struggle in their careers because they can't relate to that.

This explains a lot! Thanks!
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 12:56     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
You almost never hear these sorts of complaints about nurses, EMTs and they deal with patients and see stuff, too. I'm just wondering what it is about *doctors* in particular that makes them at least appear less empathetic.

I'm not married to a doctor, nor am I doctor. So I really don't have an opinion on this, just curious.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 12:47     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
First, the problems question....How about when a friend is complaining about a minor rash on his fingers....on and on, while I just explained I have metastatic cancer, and have a 20% chance of surviving 5 years?

As for the empathy of Dr's, may of them have to develop strong boundaries....they don't have a choice. How can an pediatric oncologist survive otherwise?
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 12:24     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
My husband is a doctor and is super sympathetic. Maybe a bit too much. I like to be left alone when sick, and he likes to take care of me (and everyone else).
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 12:15     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you unsympathetic to their needs?

I'm a critical care/ICU doctor and sometimes, I can't bear what a big deal my DH makes out of small problems. It drives me bananas. Just want to know if I'm alone.


I am not married to a doctor, but I have many family members who are doctors.

Unlike most women, in the dating world I consider being a doctor a negative. I think becoming a doctor tends to turn MOST people into unsympathetic, arrogant, smug jerks. I might consider people who go into rheumatology, sleep medicine, and other fields like that. But generally, doctors tend to have empathy deficits.

And, since most went straight through school, they are often ignorant as to how it is to work in most office jobs. They have no understanding for what it is like to struggle to apply for jobs, promotions, stay employed, etc. they are very secure in their own jobs and feel smug about it and really tend to look down on people who struggle in their careers because they can't relate to that.


+1
OMG. U have hit the nail on the head. I completely agree with you. I too would not be married to a doctor though I have family members who are like this.

Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 11:41     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Anonymous wrote:Are you unsympathetic to their needs?

I'm a critical care/ICU doctor and sometimes, I can't bear what a big deal my DH makes out of small problems. It drives me bananas. Just want to know if I'm alone.


I make an effort to listen to patients who think that their 1 year history of constipation is an emergency. I care about my family a hell of a lot more than random patients. Therefore, I make an effort to listen to their vents... even if it seems trivial to me. If your spouse is calling you while you are working in the ICU to complain about trivial stuff, then I would be irritated.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 11:27     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are you unsympathetic to their needs?

I'm a critical care/ICU doctor and sometimes, I can't bear what a big deal my DH makes out of small problems. It drives me bananas. Just want to know if I'm alone.


I am not married to a doctor, but I have many family members who are doctors.

Unlike most women, in the dating world I consider being a doctor a negative. I think becoming a doctor tends to turn MOST people into unsympathetic, arrogant, smug jerks. I might consider people who go into rheumatology, sleep medicine, and other fields like that. But generally, doctors tend to have empathy deficits.

And, since most went straight through school, they are often ignorant as to how it is to work in most office jobs. They have no understanding for what it is like to struggle to apply for jobs, promotions, stay employed, etc. they are very secure in their own jobs and feel smug about it and really tend to look down on people who struggle in their careers because they can't relate to that.


I, too, have many family members who are doctors, and I could not agree more!
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 11:25     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Well, if her dh has a typical man-cold and Op just sewed a thumb back on in the Er, it's hard to maintain composure.

My dh is a doc and he listens to me, but does seem to blow off things that I worry about a bit less than I do.

I do think part of being in a relationship is recognizing the others' needs even if they aren't what you need. If your dh needs more acknowledgment and nurturing when sick, would it kill you to bring him some soup? Even though you saved someone from a heart attack that same day?
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 11:24     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Anonymous wrote:Are you unsympathetic to their needs?

I'm a critical care/ICU doctor and sometimes, I can't bear what a big deal my DH makes out of small problems. It drives me bananas. Just want to know if I'm alone.


I am not married to a doctor, but I have many family members who are doctors.

Unlike most women, in the dating world I consider being a doctor a negative. I think becoming a doctor tends to turn MOST people into unsympathetic, arrogant, smug jerks. I might consider people who go into rheumatology, sleep medicine, and other fields like that. But generally, doctors tend to have empathy deficits.

And, since most went straight through school, they are often ignorant as to how it is to work in most office jobs. They have no understanding for what it is like to struggle to apply for jobs, promotions, stay employed, etc. they are very secure in their own jobs and feel smug about it and really tend to look down on people who struggle in their careers because they can't relate to that.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 11:20     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Get over yourself, doc.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 10:41     Subject: Re:If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Anonymous wrote:Wait, you mean doctors think that their problems are more important than everyone else's?

My mind has officially been blown.


I'm guessing OP meant her patients' problems made her husband's seem small...
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 10:27     Subject: Re:If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Wait, you mean doctors think that their problems are more important than everyone else's?

My mind has officially been blown.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 10:10     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
When you are calm, talk to him about it. He may not realize that compared to what you have to deal with, his small problems are nothing. But don't be disrespectful either. It's possible that he is only venting.

Neither of us are doctors, but I know what you mean. Men want to vent, but they don't want to hear us vent.
Anonymous
Post 04/02/2014 10:01     Subject: If you are a physician and married to a non-physician....
Are you unsympathetic to their needs?

I'm a critical care/ICU doctor and sometimes, I can't bear what a big deal my DH makes out of small problems. It drives me bananas. Just want to know if I'm alone.