Family money. I know a few people who have their lifestyles funded this way and they *never* mention it.

Some of them have family money
Some of them are those people who live nice lifestyles but are so paycheck to paycheck that they complained that if the government shut down they couldn't pay their mortgage (wtf? Then don't buy such a damn big house)
Some of them make more money then you'd think

Anonymous wrote:First, don't rule out family money (meaning, from their parents)

Second, many, many people's lifestyle goes beyond their means. I think it's because with the ease of getting loans or using credit cards, and as America has been moving more to an entitlement culture, there is less delay gratification in the form of saving or living within one's means. For example, the % of luxury cars that people actually own, rather than lease, is miniscule. Going into debt is not seen as a bad thing like it was in earlier times.

Until very recently, I was living in a very wealthy community on the west coast. I'm sure I looked like everyone's poor cousin due to the car I drove and the clothes I wore, etc. When the economy tanked, a few of the super-high-living people we knew took a dive, and we realized that they had stretched themselves and their credit to maintain their lifestyle. It sort of dawned on us that we might actually be worth more than some of the fancier people we knew, because we are savers so don't have loans--it may not be a fancy car, but we own it outright…same with the house, etc.

So, OP, I guess what I'm saying is assume the flashiness of the lifestyle means that there is solid financial bedrock underneath. Especially if it doesn't seem to add up.

Well--yeah. We have very HHI $550k but also old cars, not biggest house on block, etc. We also aren't on Facebook. We have another home that most people don't know about . We don't broadcast trips or spending, etc.

I never wonder. Some of the richest people I know are the least flashiest, non-brand oriented. Some of the mist financially hurting--second mortgages, zero savings, maxed out credit cards have the nicest cars, flashy mc mansion and Christmas photo cards with their exotic vacays

First, don't rule out family money (meaning, from their parents)

Second, many, many people's lifestyle goes beyond their means. I think it's because with the ease of getting loans or using credit cards, and as America has been moving more to an entitlement culture, there is less delay gratification in the form of saving or living within one's means. For example, the % of luxury cars that people actually own, rather than lease, is miniscule. Going into debt is not seen as a bad thing like it was in earlier times.

Until very recently, I was living in a very wealthy community on the west coast. I'm sure I looked like everyone's poor cousin due to the car I drove and the clothes I wore, etc. When the economy tanked, a few of the super-high-living people we knew took a dive, and we realized that they had stretched themselves and their credit to maintain their lifestyle. It sort of dawned on us that we might actually be worth more than some of the fancier people we knew, because we are savers so don't have loans--it may not be a fancy car, but we own it outright…same with the house, etc.

So, OP, I guess what I'm saying is assume the flashiness of the lifestyle means that there is solid financial bedrock underneath. Especially if it doesn't seem to add up.

Anonymous wrote:I do sometimes wonder, but everyone spends their money differently. Maybe one family is spending on trips and not college savings. Maybe one family is spending on cars but not home improvements. Everyone has their thing. I didn't have trendy clothes or go to the most expensive summer camps like some of my friends did, but my parents paid for every penny of college. It's hard to know the whole picture, especially just from facebook.

+1. Much easier to post on FB re trips and events than it is re savings, investments, 401ks or college funding. I'm not saying they're not doing these things, but their priorities might just be different. Maybe it is a matter of enjoying themselves now, while saving minimally with the view of "we have our whole lives to save." The savings rate in this country is pretty low; it has improved with the last recession, but as the job situation improves, I can see the "confidence" and expenditure coming back again.

Maybe their parents gave them some money? Or inheritance from a relative? Or from their business? Investments? Who knows. Who cares. Just be happy for them.

I do sometimes wonder, but everyone spends their money differently. Maybe one family is spending on trips and not college savings. Maybe one family is spending on cars but not home improvements. Everyone has their thing. I didn't have trendy clothes or go to the most expensive summer camps like some of my friends did, but my parents paid for every penny of college. It's hard to know the whole picture, especially just from facebook.

I'm glad she's having a great time, and her kids are getting experience all kinds of stuff. It's a small town -- but it's small town NJ, so you don't get the same cost of living advantages that you do in the Midwest/south.

Real estate is definitely cheaper than here -- as they're not in commuting distance to NYC -- but day-to-day life, as in preschool, food, gas, utilities are on par. For that area, it's still an "expensive" town, where she lives in the fanciest development. The taxation there is higher than here, but the public schools are excellent; of course, they still choose to send both kids to private.

My contractor, plumber and handyman all have beach houses or lake houses (I don't). I think self employed folks or business owners who deal in cash often do better than the white collar professionals.

You say that she is from a small town. Well, their cost-of-living is probably magnitudes less than ours.

Back home in the upper midwest, so many blue collar workers have second homes on lakes, multiple boats, atvs, jetskis, you name it. But just about everything in their day-to-day lives is cheaper than what we pay in DC. Housing, daycare, etc.

Also, some people just prioritize their money differently. They may take trips but don't spend money on the things that you do.

Sometimes it's just about priorities. I'm sure her DH does do well, but if it's all about lavish homes, cars, frequent trips, private schools etc. which seem a bit too much -- they may also be making some choices re the future -- as in savings, 401ks, what they'll contribute to their kids college etc. Their view may be -- the kids are only little once, let's do as much "experience," stuff as possible; we can always worry about savings a bit later. Whereas the "savers" tend to think -- well if I save a bit more now, it'll allow me some vacations later.

Yes, OP, I'm friends with a couple that I swear must've won the lottery. Endless home improvements, vacations, expensive clothes, dinners out, and supposedly enough left over for investments -- all on an income smaller than ours and a mortgage double ours.

DH and I don't get it, but we've stopped trying to figure it out.

Some folks are into Disney. Their parents might have a timeshare (disney vacation club). Military families get a big discount. Some folks buy an annual pass. Staying offsite can actually be cheap (under $100/night).

I thought you were going to mention more lavish trips. I have a FB friend who seems to travel for fun every month or two. I'm talking Europe, the Caribbean, etc. And she doesn't work.

Hah yes when i was working at a nonprofit and some of my coworkers would frequently buy lunch and Starbucks. They might have made more than I did - but probably not enough to make up for $60+ per week in food.

I normally don't notice or care how others spend money -- but I have one high school friend on Facebook whose lifestyle I just don't get. Wouldn't have noticed except that she posted that they're at Disney for the 2nd time in 3 months. No matter what you think about Disney (or about Facebook announcements), it's not exactly a cheap trip and esp. not when you go the week of Christmas and again during spring break season. Her kids are enrolled in every activity under the sun -- from art classes to horseback riding -- and she doesn't work. I'm sure her DH does well, but this is small town well -- not an investment banker or biglaw partner or business owner in a big city. I'm sure the haters will say I'm jealous -- but I'm really not, she deserves to be happy as she's a great person but I almost want tips on how to manage that kind of lifestyle for myself!