agree with PPs that it's bad form, and odd.

I also think (assuming she is childless) that she just doesn't get it that her presence was so important to you.

She might have even forgotten about the event, and now is embarrassed.

Also, again, assuming she doesn't have a kid, friendships change a lot when one couple starts having kids and one doesn't. Some friendships don't make it, some do but go through a period of distance for a while. Your focus is so different than it used to be, pre-kid, that sometimes for those without a child, it's really boring to have to deal with your focus on your kid. ("your" used generically here; not to mean YOU specifically)

One other thing: (ok I'm reaching here) if she's wanted to have kids but hasn't, it may be hard for her to go to your DDs party.

Anonymous wrote:It doesn't really matter about the birthday party part but it is rude to say you are coming to any event and then not show up. Particularly if the host cooked specially for you, as it sounds like OP did.

It's just rude beyond belief. It doesn't matter whether it's a state dinner or a child's party, you RSVP in the positive, you'd better be sick (or willing to fake it, i.e, not post a pic on Facebook) or have a death in the family. Sorry, OP. That's just mean.

I would have texted her at the start of the party saying "hey, you guys on your way? should we wait for you to eat" if no response - party goes on. After party I would have texted saying - "you guys okay? expected to see you this afternoon. hope all is well, chat soon"

It doesn't really matter about the birthday party part but it is rude to say you are coming to any event and then not show up. Particularly if the host cooked specially for you, as it sounds like OP did.

She probably forgot and now is too ashamed to contact you.

You need to stop agonizing over this, OP, because your DD was not that affected.
Have you read the threads which describe parties where none of the birthday guests (or a catastrophic few) show up? Now THAT's devastating for the birthday child!

I'd ask her. This would bother me too OP.

Sometimes texts or emails go astray. Don't assume she didn't let you know.

Maybe she forgot. If it bothers you so much, ask her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. It's a 3-year-old's party. She didn't realize an adult guest was that important to the proceedings.

I would have been perplexed and saddened by this, too. Sure its just a 3 year olds party, but she is a good friend and good friends go to good friend's events. If she really didn't want to go she should have declined.

This is exactly how I feel. I just don't get it

Get over it

Anonymous wrote:Get over it. It's a 3-year-old's party. She didn't realize an adult guest was that important to the proceedings.

I would have been perplexed and saddened by this, too. Sure its just a 3 year olds party, but she is a good friend and good friends go to good friend's events. If she really didn't want to go she should have declined.

I understand it's not a big deal in the grand scheme, but why did she not let us know? A simple text would have been enough.

It was a small gathering of friends, and I was excited about seeing her. We planned food for her and her husband. For some reason, I can't get over it.

Why didn't you call/text/Facebook her? If I was that sure she was coming, I would have been worried when she didn't show.

Get over it. It's a 3-year-old's party. She didn't realize an adult guest was that important to the proceedings.

We invited my good girlfriend to my daughter's 3rd birthday party. She RSVPd three days before the party that she was definitely coming. They were thinking about going to the mountains, but she said she would stop by for a little bit in any case. She never showed up. Didn't call, text, Facebook, nothing. A day later, I saw her post a photo of her and her husband having dinner at a restaurant, so I know she wasn't sick. It's been a month. I am still really disappointed. I haven't called her to ask why she didn't come; she hasn't called either.

I just don't understand why someone would do that and not sure what to do next with her.