Former pre-school teacher here now administrator -- no teacher EVER expects anything for her birthday. If a child wants to draw a picture of what s/he likes doing best in the class and is old enough to write the words him/herself or dictate to the parent to write -- that is a treasure certainly yet above the norm.

Why are private schools staff and room moms always asking for donations? $1300/month is more than enough. I just contribute a few dollars for the Christmas gift, that is all.

Yes, at our old preschool, the mom who collected for X-mas also hit us up for money at the teacher's birthdays. I thought it was weird, especially b/c she specified a dollar amount.

I've never heard of such a thing, and I have taught preschool for a long time.

I've seen it but...yah, seems a bit over the top. Sweet but much, kwim?

Seems over-the-top to me.

No, completely crazy. Sounds like this mom must be new to private school education. Some daycare settings do this kind of thing, but out of line in preschool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In that case it really sounds like the room mom is overdoing it. Even if she thought this teacher was outstanding and wanted to recognise her birthday, she should know that asking for a few dollars donation would be much less of a burden for the parents.

former private preschool teacher here and I agree- I never expected to celebrate my birthday at school, I think twice in 6 years we did cake and the children made me cards. It was really sweet but completely unnecessary and definitely not the norm...

+1 My mom was a private preschool teacher (director, too) for many, many years and celebrating her birthday or any teacher's birthday was never a thing. She'd have been mortified that the room mom was making such a big deal of it and imposing on the parents. An optional group gift is nice. A small individual gift (I'm talking really small, a token) is okay, too, if it is completely self-directed. But I cannot imagine there is any expectation by the teacher, and if there is…ew.

Anonymous wrote:In that case it really sounds like the room mom is overdoing it. Even if she thought this teacher was outstanding and wanted to recognise her birthday, she should know that asking for a few dollars donation would be much less of a burden for the parents.

former private preschool teacher here and I agree- I never expected to celebrate my birthday at school, I think twice in 6 years we did cake and the children made me cards. It was really sweet but completely unnecessary and definitely not the norm...

In that case it really sounds like the room mom is overdoing it. Even if she thought this teacher was outstanding and wanted to recognise her birthday, she should know that asking for a few dollars donation would be much less of a burden for the parents.

The birthday donation request is for an actual gift to be added to others to make a birthday basket. Earlier in the year I contributed to a fund that was supposed to take care of gift-giving for the year, or so I thought.

Wait so is the room mom requesting a $$ donation or that you pick out and give a gift yourself?

Do other schools do this? We've been in various care situations for years and I've never had a request for a birthday donation. We already donate to the group funds for Xmas and end of year and give our own separate gifts as well. I let it go earlier in the year but now the room mom is asking for a donation for a teacher who spent the first part of the year in my kid's room but has since moved to another classroom because of staffing changes. And that teacher had only been working two mornings a week in my kid's room to start with! Yes, I know the obvious answer is just don't give but I'm bothered because 1) I do give in general 2) I find this to be really over the top and it's not money that's requested but an actual gift.