Since you as the parent of a young child have asked, I will respond honestly as the parent of a young adult. I have always felt that a child had to come along in a developmentally appropriate program in order to learn. If you son has a cognitive disability at age 6, he may well be learning as a 3 year old might through play and investigation. Or if a child in on the Autism spectrum, he might be a child of movement. In either case, being told to sit in any classroom setting - large inclusive or small self-contained may not work for him.

The IEP should focus on all of the domains, but unlike when our daughter was educated there seems to be an "over focus" on just the academic domain. I would definitely not rush your son into kindergarten until age six if at all possible since I must admit that we are very, very happy to see all of our typical grandchildren's birthdays fall between December - February given the push of today's education. This may not be possible if he is already into kindergarten or first grade.

If so, then I would pull back from the mainstream setting and seek a program with a functional skills focus. Also I would seek to see how me might learn - meaning NO WORK SHEETS - but perhaps through a hands-on approach to math through manipulatives, a computer used for teaching pre-reading skills. If you think he has the ability to learn to read, then ask about specific programs such as Distar and others. ***This does not mean that he could not have pre-reading language arts goals written into his IEP and taught in the self-contained room setting. Then I would seek mainstreaming for areas he might enjoy with possible support of an assistant such as art, music, library, pe as well as lunch and/or recess. However, it might be that some of these are not positive experiences for him as yet and so maybe only a couple.

Now if your son has serious challenges and you believe that he will never learn as much as he can over the long haul in a traditional classroom setting even self-contained, then I would suggest you look into the program over at the St Coletta School. It is a public charter school with a functional skills curriculum and the wide range of therapies that many students need. Some school districts in MD and VA do transport children there, but it would be regarded as a private placement. You may want to go and observe do your research there.

Your basic question struck me as am I preparing him to do a worksheet he may never understand and to sit in a seat and shut up for an inclusive class - OR is it more important to say how can I help my son develop to his full potential across all skills sets so that he will have the widest array of options when public education ends and become as independent as possible. And, I can tell you that these are all very valuable and important goals, BUT it is also a question that many parents of young children are not quite able to express. Just think about what will your son need at age 21......

Anonymous wrote:Is the goal of having the child mainstreamed the same as the child succeeding in "life"?

He can't sit still to learn. He learns in different ways. Maybe to make him self-aware of his own differences and how to channel those differences to succeed at... at what?

Previous IEP meetings they said the goal was, "learning how to learn"

He doesn't learn the way other kids learn. Does he *have* to learn sitting in a classroom doing worksheets? It feels like pushing a square peg in a round hole.

Hugs to you. This stuff is hard.
Even though we all want our kids to function well in the mainstream, it may not be the best setting, especially when they're young. Better I think to target an environment best suited to him and his needs, which could lead him back to the mainstream down the line. Learning how to learn like other kids do seems off the mark. He can get there in his own, unique way.
Best of luck.

Is the goal of having the child mainstreamed the same as the child succeeding in "life"?

He can't sit still to learn. He learns in different ways. Maybe to make him self-aware of his own differences and how to channel those differences to succeed at... at what?

Previous IEP meetings they said the goal was, "learning how to learn"

He doesn't learn the way other kids learn. Does he *have* to learn sitting in a classroom doing worksheets? It feels like pushing a square peg in a round hole.