That behavior is pretty unbelievable, but I wouldn't link it to PTA. I got snubbed like that by some non-PTA moms. The barest of etiquette with these women. It pained them to talk to me. Later, I found the PTA moms were much nicer. Find the nice friends.

Huh. Our PTA is pretty much run by the dads.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: They just pretend I am not there. Talk over me. Pretend they don't know my kids names (after 6 years?) It is the same group. I told one mom I would help, now I am regretting it. Do not want to back out as that would look worse. Or maybe that is the best thing. They are just a VERY tight clique of mean girls grown up.

Look at it this way: if this group is really as you describe them, they don't like you anyway. Can you look "worse" to them?

Just quit already. They probably won't miss you, and if they do, maybe that will give them cause to reconsider their behavior. Not likely, but a girl can dream.

Bummer. I'd weigh the slight embarassment of backing out vs. the psychic pain of being cold-shouldered by a group of queen bees.

If you've made an effort, and the clique is intentionally exclusive, I'd find a "conflict" and excuse myself with few apologies. Life is too short. Who knows, maybe without your help, one or more of them will overdose from sniffing the glue sticks and each other's asses.

Quit. I did. I had enough. Life is too short.

I understand.

Keep to yourself and don't engage.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: They just pretend I am not there. Talk over me. Pretend they don't know my kids names (after 6 years?) It is the same group. I told one mom I would help, now I am regretting it. Do not want to back out as that would look worse. Or maybe that is the best thing. They are just a VERY tight clique of mean girls grown up.

You should reach an age in your adult life where you don't give people like that time of day, thought or energy. Whenever I get around a group of women (and YES--it is ALWAYS women) that are catty, mean-spirited bitches they are crossed off the list. You can find people that have enough self-confidence who aren't c*nts.

I know the type that you describe. The word I always come back to is: Pathetic. Every single woman I have ever met like that has serious self-esteem issues. Anyone that has to spread mean-spirited gossip or be queen bee has serious internal issues.

Either finish it up and then never offer help again---or gracefully exit and don't give two sh*ts what they have to say about it.

Hate to tell you this, but even old folks homes have "cool tables".

so do it and then move on. no need to waste any of your energy on them.

Anonymous wrote:OP here: They just pretend I am not there. Talk over me. Pretend they don't know my kids names (after 6 years?) It is the same group. I told one mom I would help, now I am regretting it. Do not want to back out as that would look worse. Or maybe that is the best thing. They are just a VERY tight clique of mean girls grown up.

Oh for god's sake. Stop being a door mat. If this is like high school, you find your own friends and it's more important they be people you enjoy than the prettiest kids in the school. Tell the PTA to stuff it by explaining you have a work deadline (or whatever, a sick cat, whatever) and can't do X for them any longer.

OP here: They just pretend I am not there. Talk over me. Pretend they don't know my kids names (after 6 years?) It is the same group. I told one mom I would help, now I am regretting it. Do not want to back out as that would look worse. Or maybe that is the best thing. They are just a VERY tight clique of mean girls grown up.

This makes me feel blessed, as my experience with the PTA at all three schools (ES, MS and HS) has been excellent.

What's the last event? Can you give $5 instead or something? Why is your PTA so particularly horrible? What are they mean about?

So don't sign up.

We have one more volunteer event to do. So tired of the top PTA moms and their clique of mean moms. Dreading this last task -- looking at the sign up sheet -- grrr.