If you've never been through it, you have NO IDEA how incredibly difficult and painful it is. Please, just give her time and space. And in the meantime, if you are a believer, please pray for her.

Signed - been there, done that.

maril332 wrote:I'm on OP's side. Her friend does not have to act like she's the first person in the world to have issues in life. Ignoring good friends doesn't make it easier.

Agreed. I find this kind of fair weather friend to be incredibly self-centered.

Anonymous wrote:This happened to me, too. Friend disappeared for about 5 years, then reached out once she had her son.

That's incredibly selfish. I would've told her to eff off.

maril332 wrote:I'm on OP's side. Her friend does not have to act like she's the first person in the world to have issues in life. Ignoring good friends doesn't make it easier.

Apparently, you've never been in her friend's situation. I was for many years.

maril332 wrote:I'm on OP's side. Her friend does not have to act like she's the first person in the world to have issues in life. Ignoring good friends doesn't make it easier.

Yes, sometimes it does.

I'm on OP's side. Her friend does not have to act like she's the first person in the world to have issues in life. Ignoring good friends doesn't make it easier.

Space and time or just offer to go out with her alone without the kids, ask how she is doing (general question) and if she brings it up, just let her vent. Its hard being that person with no kids. Its hard when you are treated differently (invited or not invited to things) because you do not have kids. Its hard when you are treated like you don't have a clue because you don't have kids. Its hard to watch others with their kids, when you don't have any and continue to struggle.

You sound like a great friend for caring.

OP again, thanks for the constructive comments. I sincerely hope that we can remain friends. I may not say or send anything, but send her my most positive prayers.

Nothing in the original post said it's all about me. Just stated I'm not sure what I could or should do. Way to misinterpret, 10:18.

She's protecting herself. It's not a reflection on you.

heavy, not heaving.

Give her space. Some people retreat a bit from social circles when they are going through something difficult.

Between this and the other "my friend is jealous that I'm pregnant" post, it sounds like a lot of people really do think the world revolves around them.

What if your friend had cancer and wasn't in touch much with you or friends because she was dealing with cancer? Would you pitch a fit about it? No, you'd be like, "yeah, she's dealing with heaving stuff."

Well, wanting children but then facing the reality that your body might not be able to do it AND going through the hormone issues that fertility treatments cause is also a trying thing to go through.

Be a friend. Give her space and don't make it about you.

This happened to me, too. Friend disappeared for about 5 years, then reached out once she had her son.

Give her space and time.

I would send a card saying you're thinking of her and then back off and leave her alone. It could be excruciating for her to deal with friends with kids for a long time. She may reach out one day or not again. It's her decision. I hope she can find support and peace.

She has had several unsuccessful IUIs and is now avoiding me and her other friends with children in a very obvious way. I have sympathy for her, I can understand why she might be sensitive right now. I don't know what to do, I don't think there's anything I could say that would help. Before the peanut gallery weighs in, it also could be that I'm a jerk, who knows. Any suggestions or wisdom for me?