Anonymous wrote:Does your husband really want to talk to your mother on his birthday. No phone call is gift enough!

LOL!!!!

You and DH are not the 6 year old twins of your parents who need to be given equal value gifts and receive phone calls on your birthdays. WTF?

I wouldn't care if my ILs gave my DH more for his birthday than me. He's their DS! I also don't expect a birthday call from them or a birthday gift.

My mother never called my husband on his birthday. My inlaws never called me.

I don't think i'd care if my in laws called on my birthday. Did your husband say it bothered him?

Goodness, OP, do you keep score like this with everything else in your life?

Relax. DH and I couldn't care less if our respective ILs called on our birthday. If they send a gift - any gift! - we politely thank them, and certainly don't compare the monetary value of each gift.

We know who loves us and who doesn't. In our case, my mother dislikes my husband exceedingly, has hurled insults to his face and badmouthed him to everyone she knows multiple times. If your post had centered around that, I would sympathize! Yet she is the one hypocritically wishing him a happy birthday and sending gifts, as if we could forget all the insulting comments she has made over the years about him. Quite the narcissistic personality.
My ILs care about both of us and do not send anything - which is perfectly fine.

Anonymous wrote:You are over-analyzing this, op. Don't go looking for problems where not exist.

Agree

Anonymous wrote:My mom is wonderful, but she doesn't treat DH the same way MIL treats me. MIL always gives me and DH the same value bday and xmas gifts. My Mom always spends almost twice as much on my gifts as DH. (She does this with all the son's ad daughter in law's, not just mine) Recently we had a big 60th bday bash for my mom and each of contributed to the cost of the party. Now DH just had his 40th bday and mom sent a gift, but forgot to call on the big day. DH has never said anything, but I'm sure he notices. I am not sure what to do, it makes me feel bad.

OP, it seems as if you like manage everyone's feelings and assume that they must respond to things the same way you would. Stop.

Does your husband really want to talk to your mother on his birthday. No phone call is gift enough!

You are over-analyzing this, op. Don't go looking for problems where not exist.

I'm with the others OP. Men don't care, and as a female, I wouldn't care either. You all are 40. I am 27 and don't get gifts anymore, and sometimes not a phone call. Big deal... My parents still love me so much. Your love isn't in the form of money

Let it go. Laugh it off.

Perhaps your DH is the exception to the rule, but I tend to think most men could not care less if MIL doesn't call to say happy birthday. She sent a gift!

Stop calculating the value of gifts and making each occasion into a test.

This is unbelievably petty. Your mom should give gifts however she wants to. You're not children. Not sure what her birthday bash has to do with any of this, either.

Seriously, stop using $$ as a way to assess your relationships. That's no way to go through life.

My mom is wonderful, but she doesn't treat DH the same way MIL treats me. MIL always gives me and DH the same value bday and xmas gifts. My Mom always spends almost twice as much on my gifts as DH. (She does this with all the son's ad daughter in law's, not just mine) Recently we had a big 60th bday bash for my mom and each of contributed to the cost of the party. Now DH just had his 40th bday and mom sent a gift, but forgot to call on the big day. DH has never said anything, but I'm sure he notices. I am not sure what to do, it makes me feel bad.