OP, I was a kid whose mom stayed with a cheating mean and in a terrible marriage for "the sake of the kids".

My sister and I always knew what was going on. There was always tension, fighting, silent treatments, uncomfortableness...it was not a fun house to grow up in.

But my mother couldn't be alone. When she finally did leave and was on her own (after my sister and I left the house) she cried everyday, started drinking heavily.

I honestly don't know which mother I would have rather had: The one who couldn't tolerate being alone or the one stuck in the shitty marriage.

My advice to you is seek therapy (on your own) now, build up your confidence and get the hell out.

Describe what happens and what interactions the kids see

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughters are ALREADY growing up in a broken family.

+1. You owe it to the kids to give them a happy and healthy environment.

No one does it 100% of the time. Now, is husband beating wife or being occasionally insensitive? OP doesn't want to say. I'm guessing it's the latter, otherwise it wouldn't be much of a question, IMO. Kids usually want and need two devoted parents. Obviously, not if one is beating the other.

Even if one parent isn't beating another, seeing one parent berate, yell at, and demean the other parent can do just as much damage as witnessing a parent get a black eye. Especially since they are girls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughters are ALREADY growing up in a broken family.

+1. You owe it to the kids to give them a happy and healthy environment.

No one does it 100% of the time. Now, is husband beating wife or being occasionally insensitive? OP doesn't want to say. I'm guessing it's the latter, otherwise it wouldn't be much of a question, IMO. Kids usually want and need two devoted parents. Obviously, not if one is beating the other.

Anonymous wrote:Emotional. Our family is not broken yet. My marriage might be. They still have mommy and daddy every day that love them very much. They have a sense of normalcy. I try to shield them as much as I can from what's going on between us.

You are in denial. Your kids are suffering.

Anonymous wrote:Emotional. Our family is not broken yet. My marriage might be. They still have mommy and daddy every day that love them very much. They have a sense of normalcy. I try to shield them as much as I can from what's going on between us.

I don't mean that as harsh as it sounds, but you're teaching them that normalcy is allowing a husband to be mean to you and putting up with a marriage that makes you unhappy. Kids pick up on a lot and you're not shielding them as much as you think.

Emotional. Our family is not broken yet. My marriage might be. They still have mommy and daddy every day that love them very much. They have a sense of normalcy. I try to shield them as much as I can from what's going on between us.

What does your therapist suggest, OP?

Anonymous wrote:Your daughters are ALREADY growing up in a broken family.

+1. You owe it to the kids to give them a happy and healthy environment.

Your daughters are ALREADY growing up in a broken family.

What kind of abuse?

What kind of abuse?

Physical or emotional abuse?

OP, all I'll say is your kids will grow up in a much better household if you two divorce than if they have to grow up seeing their mother be abused by their father (and who knows if/when it will turn on them)

Fits all of the above. I don't want to get into detail. We have two beautiful and smart daughters 6 and under. I often think of divorce, and I know nobody deserves this kind of life, but I can't imagine our daughters growing up in a broken family, can't imagine giving up on it, somewhat I still find enough in me to try, try, try. We've tried counseling and it helped while it lasted, though our work schedules make it impossible to schedule. The sessions were so sporadic. DH also stopped his individual therapy and dropped antidepressants, just because he wasn't disciplined. I married him, cause I was in love, in Catholic Church. I watched my parents 35 year marriage very tumultuous at times survive very rough patches. I somewhat believe I need to keep pulling through as well. Any words of wisdom and encouragement?