Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her parents don't like you and it stresses her out.

Hate to break it to you, but this.

I agree. It puts her on edge. Of course since you guys show up & seem pissy they probably like you even less. Maybe you could try and find some way to distract her in the car, stream NPR and listen to Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me.

I'm always on edge when around my mother. She's a fabulous grandmother and DH likes her a lot. But, I have a lot of baggage where she's concerned. Things she does just irk the shit out of me and while I know it's unfair and unreasonable for me to be snippy/shitty with DH, I just can't seem to stop it.

Anonymous wrote:Her parents don't like you and it stresses her out.

Hate to break it to you, but this.

Her parents don't like you and it stresses her out.

Anonymous wrote:Well, DH always fights with me and generally is an ass when my mom is around. Granted, my mom drives me crazy, too, but he turns into such a dick around her--not just to her, but to me. ANd then I pay for it, not only is my husband being a dick to me and my mom, but then my mom starts talking to my about what an asshole my husband is and I am then forced to defend someone who is, in fact, behaving like an asshole, but I can't really tell her that its because she drives everyone nuts with her micromanaging, constant, low level passive aggressive criticism and the fact that she cannot.ever.be.quiet.ever. But at least I deal by tuning her out and drinking more.

you should not get in the middle. if your husband is an ass when your mom is around and she complains that he is an ass, you should just say "yes, he is you may tell him yourself" and then change the subject,. I do not see why you need to defend an adult who behave like an ass. my MIL talks non-stop when she come (and I mean it, she sees I am working at the computer and starts I see you are working and do not want to bother you but you know I bought this fantastic shirt on sale it was senior day she it was 50% off on top of 40% off and I really love it and my sister, who lives in Texas has one like that but she paid more because there senior day is on Tuesday instead of Wednesday and she plays cards of Tuesday blah blah blah, and I am trying to finish something for work. I got to the point that I get my coffee and newspaper in the bathroom and I pretend I need to go to bathroom so I can lock myself there for 5 minutes of peace. but I never ever treat her bad, and certainly I am not an ass around her. if your husband is an ass around you mom, let him be and bear the consequences, just do not be the one in the middle.

Well, DH always fights with me and generally is an ass when my mom is around. Granted, my mom drives me crazy, too, but he turns into such a dick around her--not just to her, but to me. ANd then I pay for it, not only is my husband being a dick to me and my mom, but then my mom starts talking to my about what an asshole my husband is and I am then forced to defend someone who is, in fact, behaving like an asshole, but I can't really tell her that its because she drives everyone nuts with her micromanaging, constant, low level passive aggressive criticism and the fact that she cannot.ever.be.quiet.ever. But at least I deal by tuning her out and drinking more.

Anonymous wrote:Probably because she is stressed out to be going to her parents' house so she is taking it out on you.

Sorry OP.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably because she is stressed out to be going to her parents' house so she is taking it out on you.

Sorry OP.

Nope. Parents live here and they're very close. She then always says "you're too concerned with what people think".

It could still be stressful.

I have a great relationship with my mom, but at the same time, she also annoys the crap out of me. Most visits to her are stressful even though we never fight, tell each other everything and love each other very much. Just a thought.

Lots of people start their battles and pick their fight in the car, because they know you're stuck with them and have to listen.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Probably because she is stressed out to be going to her parents' house so she is taking it out on you.

Sorry OP.

Nope. Parents live here and they're very close. She then always says "you're too concerned with what people think".

What does she mean by this? Sounds like there is more to the story other than...she picks a fight with you.

I"m going to agree with 20:16. Sometimes when I talk to my mom, DH comments how much my demeanor changes when she say certain key phrases. So if one or both of her parents are difficult, she's probably stressed about going over there and takes it out on you.

Can you discuss it with her during a time when you're not going to inlaws?

Anonymous wrote:Probably because she is stressed out to be going to her parents' house so she is taking it out on you.

Sorry OP.

Nope. Parents live here and they're very close. She then always says "you're too concerned with what people think".

What 20:16 said. You are her safe place.

Probably because she is stressed out to be going to her parents' house so she is taking it out on you.

Sorry OP.

And it is always one of the long ones that has no resolution by the time we get there so were all in awkward bad moods and everyone can sense it.