Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:48     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
*can't
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:48     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
When I lived in South East Asia, it was just part of the culture that people expected and were given money. In little red envelopes.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:48     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm Indian and this is very usual in our culture. I hate it! So rude. It means, don't bring a gift to this wedding, just a check in an envelope. Awful!

At the same time, I think in India, it's just acceptable etiquette-wise, (we want money not stuff, just telling ya, NBD) so a couple might not mean it to be offensive the way we Americans might take it. However if you are raised in the States you have no excuse for that crap!


I'm Indian too, and I see this at Indian weddings here. And you're right that most people do give money. But I've never seen it acknowledged in India. Etiquette-wise, at least for the weddings I've been to, you pretend that gift giving is not part of the deal and act very surprised when someone does give you something. I've never seen it articulated that money should be the gift.


PP you quoted. Yeah, I definitely get what you're saying. Maybe it's more, we don't want gifts to take home from this event. Not a comment on money. But you can get around the fact that they will take a check
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:44     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
Anonymous wrote:I'm Indian and this is very usual in our culture. I hate it! So rude. It means, don't bring a gift to this wedding, just a check in an envelope. Awful!

At the same time, I think in India, it's just acceptable etiquette-wise, (we want money not stuff, just telling ya, NBD) so a couple might not mean it to be offensive the way we Americans might take it. However if you are raised in the States you have no excuse for that crap!


I'm Indian too, and I see this at Indian weddings here. And you're right that most people do give money. But I've never seen it acknowledged in India. Etiquette-wise, at least for the weddings I've been to, you pretend that gift giving is not part of the deal and act very surprised when someone does give you something. I've never seen it articulated that money should be the gift.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:44     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
As tacky as it is, I can understand it. We have an entire closet full of twenty-year old useless gifts in unopened boxes filling a closet in our basement. I can't donate them because DW says "Aunt Phoebe gave us that bowl." Ugh.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:37     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
I'm Indian and this is very usual in our culture. I hate it! So rude. It means, don't bring a gift to this wedding, just a check in an envelope. Awful!

At the same time, I think in India, it's just acceptable etiquette-wise, (we want money not stuff, just telling ya, NBD) so a couple might not mean it to be offensive the way we Americans might take it. However if you are raised in the States you have no excuse for that crap!
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:35     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
It's tacky to tell someone what kind of gift to give, because it assumes the attendee will give a gift.

Putting that aside however, I always give money at weddings so if I saw that after thinking the above I would think "Wow, what kind of weird-ass guests are they inviting that they don't give money at a wedding?"
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:25     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
No different than giving people gift instructions on birthday invites. No gifts, donations only, books only etc...

All of it is tacky - as another poster said - you'll get what I feel like giving you.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:08     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
This couple doesn't want stuff, they want money. Regardless of where you send it.

Tacky. Tacky. Tacky. But increasingly popular.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:01     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
maril332 wrote:Part of me thinks its a ploy to just get money. While I understand if you are are having to bring home tons of boxes, it is annoying.


Do people even bring big gifts to weddings anymore? The last few I've been to had less than a dozen gifts on the table just mostly envelopes. Most people I know sent the gift directly to the couple.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:01     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
Tacky. You'll get what I feel like giving you. Give me credit for knowing that transporting physical gifts from a destination/location wedding would be difficult. I would have given you money. Now you'll get a fruit of the month subscription for being pissy about it!
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 22:00     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
Anonymous wrote:Never gotten one, but I think it's a not so subtle hint that they want cash/checks.


Agreed. So I'd send a boxed gift Hate those "we're not asking for money...but we're asking for money" type of games.
maril332
Post 02/16/2014 22:00     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
Part of me thinks its a ploy to just get money. While I understand if you are are having to bring home tons of boxes, it is annoying.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 21:59     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
Never gotten one, but I think it's a not so subtle hint that they want cash/checks.
Anonymous
Post 02/16/2014 21:56     Subject: s/o "no boxed gift please."
Spin off the other thread on GP… have you ever gotten one of those wedding invitations? If so, what did you do?

I never did, but if I had I think I would buy a beautiful vase, take it out of the box and send it with a card attached. Or maybe just give money - easier.