Anonymous wrote:We had that same arrangement. We did not claim her as a dependent. Instead, we set up a tax ID through our accountant and employed my mom. We then signed up for the 5k dependent care account through my employer. They deducted pretax money from my paycheck. I pay my mom, get a receipt, turn receipt into my dependent care account provider which was Aetna then I'd get reimbursed.
This was easier than claiming my mom as a dependent and having to prove through receipts that I was paying for all her expenses.
That's not responsive to the OP's question, is it? She wants to do both. Which she cannot do.