Anonymous wrote:Is the sky blue?

Seriously, stop and think hard about how you were at this age.

See that's the thing: I was okay at this age. I didn't get attitudinal until about 16.

Is the sky blue?

Seriously, stop and think hard about how you were at this age.

Hi OP,

My DD is 11 and suddenly rolling her eyes every time I open my mouth. And talking to me in a way that implies I'm an idiot. And if I mention something, e.g. "The rolls are in the oven," I get the "I KNOW, mom!"

It's been going on for about a month. I want to throttle her. She knows better to do it in public because I WILL correct her in front of her friends and make her apologize which would embarrass her no end. But in private, it's a constant battle because I won't ignore this bad behavior.

For what it's worth, it appears to be only with me and her sibling (and probably her dad, but he was traveling so I haven't had a chance to see yet).

And also, teachers, friends' parents, coaches, etc. all say she's very polite and respectful and easy to have around. (I know, Jekyll and Hyde)

I find it very difficult. Since DH was traveling, I felt like every minute with her was me being beaten down. At one point she said something snarky and I whipped around and smacked her (not hard) and started yelling. Ugh, that's not what I want to be teaching my kid.

I am not big on sleepovers but she was asked to go on one by a classmate yesterday and I said yes for the wrong reason: Because I just couldn't take being around her anymore!

So just to give you an idea: Friday DD tells me that classmate wanted her over for a sleepover and classmate's mom would call me, and she wanted to go.

Saturday the phone rings and it's the mom. I can't get ahold of DD because wtf she's taking a shower in my bathroom, without my permission, and got two doors to that bathroom locked and I can't get her to hear me. Well she had told me she wanted to go anyways, so I said yes.

I tell DD and I get the "I don't want to go. You didn't ask me. Thanks for selling me out, mom!" Then a moping session followed by a crying session…

Of course now she's gone and I see she messed up my bathroom floor (toppled bottles that leaked out) so I'm waiting for her to come home so I can make her clean it.

Not looking forward to the teenage years!

Prepare for this to continue until she's about 25, living on her own, drowning in student loans, and eating ramen. Then she'll realize she knows nothing.

I'm OP: no "disorders" of any kind. She's healthy and does well in school. Just wondering if this is a phase or is she on her way to being impossible.

It is apparently, though some kids seem grab on to it with both hands. I found this interview on the Diane Rehm show useful. I am thinking of getting the book

Daniel Siegel: "Brainstorm: The Power And Purpose Of The Teenage Brain"


http://thedianerehmshow.org/shows/2014-01-06/daniel-siegel-brainstorm-power-and-purpose-teenage-brain

Yeah, duh!

Has she been told she's so smart a bit too often?

Anonymous wrote:
Is it for the sake of precision, like getting history dates correct? I would not mind that too much, except to remind her that it is rude to correct other people repeatedly. People with Asperger's often do this, and I live with some of them

Or is it more of a one-upmanship contest? In that case, not cool. Perhaps some friends in her circle are doing it and she feels she has to keep up. I would explain that it makes everyone around her feel inferior, uncomfortable and resentful of her, and to stop unless she's ready for consequences.

I was going to ask OP if DD has autism. Or is she a bully? Or is she being bullied?

Example, OP?

Is it for the sake of precision, like getting history dates correct? I would not mind that too much, except to remind her that it is rude to correct other people repeatedly. People with Asperger's often do this, and I live with some of them

Or is it more of a one-upmanship contest? In that case, not cool. Perhaps some friends in her circle are doing it and she feels she has to keep up. I would explain that it makes everyone around her feel inferior, uncomfortable and resentful of her, and to stop unless she's ready for consequences.

Anonymous wrote:My DIL is like that. I hate her.

But she's probably not 12. The question refers to a preteen. And aren't you a peach?

My DIL is like that. I hate her.

Yes, it's normal...good luck--it's an annoying phase and I know I was that way for a number of years.

My daughter is driving us nuts with this. I don't know if she does this with her friends, but I can't take it! Is this developmentally normal and expected for girls at this age??