What benefits do you think single moms get?

OP, talk to a lawyer.

What state allows divorce without separation??? Are you sure about that?

OP here- just to add: if we divorced I would have an income of about $50k (incl child support)- I don't know if this is low income, technically, so maybe not too many benefits anyway?

OP here- one more question- do you guys think I would have both a legal and a moral right to claim whatever benefits single moms are entitled to?

OP here. We don't have terrible fights or hatred or anything like this. Our problem is that we have grown to be pretty different- and disagree on smallest things, it seems. We are able to work it out for the most part, but it is getting very exhausting for me, plus we do fight sometimes
I feel that if I could make decisions for myself and most importantly not have to bear the consequences of his decisions, I would be content.

My ex SIL and her boyfriend live next door to her ex husband and his new wife.


To answer your question, yes, your divorce is legit when finalized whether you live together or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I live in a state where separation is not a prerequisite for divorce.
I don't want to just separate finances because I don't want to be responsible for his debt should there be any (he is prone to living beyond his means and while he used to let me work out the budget, he now wants to make a lot of decisions I don't agree with- and I am tired of arguing).
There are other issues, too- I want to be separate from him in as many ways as possible. I just think that staying in the house will help us have better living conditions, keep the semblance of normalcy to our son, and save us some money.

How normal will it be for your son when one or both of you start dating, having overnight visitors, etc?

I think having your divorced parents living together but living separate lives would be much more damaging and confusing to your child than just doing things the traditional way and living apart.

I disagree.

I have a friend who did just that. And neither the mother or father brought home who they were dating. They lived divorced and under the same roof for 7 years until the mom remarried and moved 3 blocks away so the kids could stay in the same school district and walk from house to house. Their two separate families are close to this day. There was no real custody agreement. They continued to co-parent under the same roof. It is ideal, but ONLY reserved for extremely healthy people.

OP here- if things come to a point of seriously dating someone- then of course we would separate.
I am now more concerned about the financial side.

Anonymous wrote:OP here- I live in a state where separation is not a prerequisite for divorce.
I don't want to just separate finances because I don't want to be responsible for his debt should there be any (he is prone to living beyond his means and while he used to let me work out the budget, he now wants to make a lot of decisions I don't agree with- and I am tired of arguing).
There are other issues, too- I want to be separate from him in as many ways as possible. I just think that staying in the house will help us have better living conditions, keep the semblance of normalcy to our son, and save us some money.

How normal will it be for your son when one or both of you start dating, having overnight visitors, etc?

I think having your divorced parents living together but living separate lives would be much more damaging and confusing to your child than just doing things the traditional way and living apart.

OP here- I live in a state where separation is not a prerequisite for divorce.
I don't want to just separate finances because I don't want to be responsible for his debt should there be any (he is prone to living beyond his means and while he used to let me work out the budget, he now wants to make a lot of decisions I don't agree with- and I am tired of arguing).
There are other issues, too- I want to be separate from him in as many ways as possible. I just think that staying in the house will help us have better living conditions, keep the semblance of normalcy to our son, and save us some money.

My friend was able to satisfy the separation agreement with her in the main house and her husband in the basement apartment.

It depends on the state you are in actually. Some states require a couple to reside in separate abodes for a certain amount of time before the final divorce decree (and require you to prove it). Personally, my ex and I lived a roommates in the same house for almost a year after divorce (it was very amicable and we are still friends and have play dates with our subsequent families). When we were still living together, both of our SOs would come over and we would all hang out and have dinner, etc.

Why not just split expenses? I don't understand how he would pay child support if he is living in the ams house?

If there is a piece of paper (legal) stating the permanent dissolution of the marriage, then it is legit. It doesn't matter where people live. Hard to fulfill the separation requirement though, if you two living under the same roof. Unless one of you lie and gives another address while under the separation of room and board period.

I have been contemplating divorce for a number of reasons, financial including (H has been making some not so smart financial moves despite my disagreement).
H does not annoy me too much as a "roommate", I just don't want to be responsible for the outcomes of his financial decisions. I would like him to pay child support, and I would pay my half of the rent. The rest would be totally separate.
However, would a divorce without getting two separate addresses be legit in the eyes of the government? Will I truly not be responsible for his debt, should there be one? Can this even work???