let it go....leeeeeetttt ittttt goooooooooo

OP here. I do my own laundry, fix my own meals (microwave something and fix vegetables), and pay half of the bills. I also fix DC's breakfast every morning and get him dressed. On the weekends, I usually spend half a day cleaning (I don't think DH knows where the toilet brush even lives), the place is in a constant state of clutter (none of it mine or DC's), repairs get completed after a few months, and none of the speech therapy ideas get done, but DC watches a lot of TV and spends a lot of time in a playpen.

DH gets groceries about 90% of the time, does the dishes, does his laundry and DC's, does the repairs around the house (eventually), and pays his half of the bills. He also does almost all of the appointments (car repairs, post office, etc.).

I really want him to do more during the day, especially with DC, and would like him to do things without being asked 50 times. I genuinely don't want to be a nag or put too an unfair amount on his plate, but I feel like he puts me in a position where I have no choice. Asking nicely is just ignored.

You don't get to micromanage from the office, unless it directly affects you (i.e., you regularly come home to a messy kitchen).

Anonymous wrote:I think it needs specifics:

1) House is as neat when you get home at night as when it was when you left in the a.m.
2) all laundry handled in a timely manner
3) Dry cleaning, grocery store, other errands done
4) Dinner partially or totally cooked

haha these hens here would peck a WOHD who had a list like that for the SAHM

Everything. We have a speech delayed child too and I spend a lot of time going to therapies but I still do the majority of the cooking and cleaning. I will usually grocery shop during the weekends when my husband is home. I don't have a set schedule and just do it when I do it. Some days the house is spotless and some days it has a lived in look depending on the day. Its not like you have a big house and yard to care for.

I think it needs specifics:

1) House is as neat when you get home at night as when it was when you left in the a.m.
2) all laundry handled in a timely manner
3) Dry cleaning, grocery store, other errands done
4) Dinner partially or totally cooked

Anonymous wrote:SAHD here - pretty much I do everything domestic. DW just has to work

is the PP right about the pron?

Same as a SAHM. Everything domestic except projects that require 2 people or are in the other person's area of expertise (for instance, I can't fix things and my husband can). I do all of the laundry, cooking, shopping, bill payment, child-related things, etc.

SAHD here - pretty much I do everything domestic. DW just has to work

Errands, all appointments, laundry, cleaning, picking up, dinner on the table at 6.

Grocery shopping. Laundry. Clean up child-related messes. Dinner preparation. Day time appointments for things.

I wouldn't begrudge him personal time during the day, though. Not all naps need to be used for chores.

Grocery shopping, laundry, most, but not all the dinner meal prep, schedule ped appointments.

Anonymous wrote:wel i can tell yo porn and the m word.. will be on his daily agenda. lots of tv and instead of walks to the park, walks to a lot of areas to watch women walk by.
but he will be able to get all you need im to get done in a lot less time than you do because he will jsut get it doen quickly withouth over thinking it.

WTF,

wel i can tell yo porn and the m word.. will be on his daily agenda. lots of tv and instead of walks to the park, walks to a lot of areas to watch women walk by.
but he will be able to get all you need im to get done in a lot less time than you do because he will jsut get it doen quickly withouth over thinking it.

I've read a lot of posts about unfair expectations placed on SAHMs. My husband is now a SAHD, and I am the primary breadwinner. Before I harp about how he isn't doing enough (which is obviously the way I'm leaning), what is it fair to expect him to get done every day? By way of reference, we have a two-bedroom condo and one toddler who is speech-delayed.