Can you convince him he should be competing against himself, not against the other kids? His goal should be to cut time on strokes he knows and to not get DQ'd on things he's learning.

The more he swims, the better he'll get. If you can make that third practice it might help him out.

I'd suggest he talk to his coach, too, to get reinforcement that he should be comparing himself to himself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why does he NEED to be on the swim team????

We never did swim team as kids because my parents refused to go to events before 8am. All 3 of us are good swimmers.

Why can't he just swim for recreation and supplement with higher level swim lessons?

My kids play soccer, baseball and basketball---but we don't do swim year round, nor do we do swim team.

They are now strong swimmers--5 and 8. Sometimes I will do a series of private lessons to work on stroke, etc.

I would much rather go out for a run than a swim. Many people are this way.

I have met so many parents in this area that are so swim team-gung ho. If a kid doesn't want to race, don't sweat it.

I don't understand the point you are trying to make. What difference does it make whether he is doing soccer or basketball or running or swimming. The kid getting demoralized by poor performance can happen in any sport.

I think the point is: find something HE likes doing!

By high level swim lessons, I meant taking the swimming lessons at a local rec center for kids who can already swim well. In Fairfax County there are swimming lesson courses number I though VI -- so take V or VI if you want "high level swim lessons." There are also stroke mechanics classes that are more advanced than the swim lessons, but not competitive and they start at age 6.

OP, did not realize you weren't in the DC area so my idea won't work for you. Good luck. I know it is hard to know what to do. We left a competitive sport a few years ago because our daughter was not enjoying it at all. She spent the first half of the year coming home and crying and the second half of the year in intermittent misery. We did not allow her to quit mid-year, but we did not sign up for the next season and have not gone back.

Anonymous wrote:Why does he NEED to be on the swim team????

We never did swim team as kids because my parents refused to go to events before 8am. All 3 of us are good swimmers.

Why can't he just swim for recreation and supplement with higher level swim lessons?

My kids play soccer, baseball and basketball---but we don't do swim year round, nor do we do swim team.

They are now strong swimmers--5 and 8. Sometimes I will do a series of private lessons to work on stroke, etc.

I would much rather go out for a run than a swim. Many people are this way.

I have met so many parents in this area that are so swim team-gung ho. If a kid doesn't want to race, don't sweat it.

I don't understand the point you are trying to make. What difference does it make whether he is doing soccer or basketball or running or swimming. The kid getting demoralized by poor performance can happen in any sport.

where in the DC area can one do "high level" swim lessons??
OP, I would have him stick it out for the year (I assume it is a 9 mo program), and then it will be summer and he can do an outdoor swim team at your local pool. That may increase his confidence b/c most of the kids on the summer team will not have been doing year round swim team, so I suspect he will not place last in those meets. You can have some discussions with him at that time to point out how much he improved from last summer, thanks to the practice he was doing all year long on the indoor team. He may or may not want to sign up for the indoor team again next fall - at that point I would let him decide as I would say he's given it a fair shot. He may love swimming and just want to be on a team in the summer. He may love it and want swim team year round. Or he may decide such when he is a bit older.

Anonymous wrote:Why does he NEED to be on the swim team????

We never did swim team as kids because my parents refused to go to events before 8am. All 3 of us are good swimmers.

Why can't he just swim for recreation and supplement with higher level swim lessons?

My kids play soccer, baseball and basketball---but we don't do swim year round, nor do we do swim team.

They are now strong swimmers--5 and 8. Sometimes I will do a series of private lessons to work on stroke, etc.

I would much rather go out for a run than a swim. Many people are this way.

I have met so many parents in this area that are so swim team-gung ho. If a kid doesn't want to race, don't sweat it.

Btw, my kids dropped baseball after a few years because they found it boring as hell. One does travel soccer. The other flag football, travel basketball. Why would I force them to be on a baseball team if they didn't have any interest in it?

Why does he NEED to be on the swim team????

We never did swim team as kids because my parents refused to go to events before 8am. All 3 of us are good swimmers.

Why can't he just swim for recreation and supplement with higher level swim lessons?

My kids play soccer, baseball and basketball---but we don't do swim year round, nor do we do swim team.

They are now strong swimmers--5 and 8. Sometimes I will do a series of private lessons to work on stroke, etc.

I would much rather go out for a run than a swim. Many people are this way.

I have met so many parents in this area that are so swim team-gung ho. If a kid doesn't want to race, don't sweat it.

ThatSmileyFaceGuy wrote:Start by setting small goals. Taking a second off his time for instance. Learning that flip turn. Reward reaching those goals.

But the important thing is DON'T LET HIM QUIT.

My kids are allowed to try any sport they want but they know that they have to commit to 2 years. Since you can't expect anyone to get even halfway decent at something in the first year.

Thanks for the suggestions. I agree with your point of no one getting decent in the first year. My initial thought was to continue for at least three years and decide if he wants to quit after that. That's why it is hard for me to see him demoralized in his very first year. I like your idea of setting small goals that might not be timing related. Any other thoughts on how to keep him motivated?

Anonymous wrote:My daughter loves swimming too, but doesn't like racing. I signed her up for high level swim lessons and she gets instructions on developing her strokes and she swims laps. She loves it. She goes twice per week and gets a solid hour of swimming. She showers at the rec center and comes home and goes straight to bed. Works beautifully and we will be doing this until her spring sport starts

This is OP. One of the reason for signing him up for swim team was because we did not have high level swim lessons in our area. We dont live in DC area. I would have to drive him 20 miles one way in the evening every week to get lessons. I thought that with swim team, he will meet other kids his age who love swimming as well as would be able to refine his strokes.

Anonymous wrote:Can I ask what team he's swimming on? My 6 1/2 yr old son is swimming 2x a week but not yet on a winter league team. We are going to try for a summer team but I'm nervous that we are going to be in the same situation- he's going to lose every race and not want to do it anymore.

We are not in the DC area but in North Carolina so wont be able to help you with the team suggestion.

Start by setting small goals. Taking a second off his time for instance. Learning that flip turn. Reward reaching those goals.

But the important thing is DON'T LET HIM QUIT.

My kids are allowed to try any sport they want but they know that they have to commit to 2 years. Since you can't expect anyone to get even halfway decent at something in the first year.

This was me in high school -- I loved practices but found the meets stressful and demoralizing. I'd ask him what he wants to do. If the point is to enjoy swimming/physical fitness, there are better ways to do it than being demoralized by the competition.

Can I ask what team he's swimming on? My 6 1/2 yr old son is swimming 2x a week but not yet on a winter league team. We are going to try for a summer team but I'm nervous that we are going to be in the same situation- he's going to lose every race and not want to do it anymore.

My daughter loves swimming too, but doesn't like racing. I signed her up for high level swim lessons and she gets instructions on developing her strokes and she swims laps. She loves it. She goes twice per week and gets a solid hour of swimming. She showers at the rec center and comes home and goes straight to bed. Works beautifully and we will be doing this until her spring sport starts

My 7 yo son started year round swim team this year. He enjoys being in the water and loves swimming. The kids in his team have been swimming for a few years and are from decent to quite good. He has done a couple of meets and has always been last one to finish by a big margin. He is losing interest and is very demotivated. I am happy to see him swim regularly and getting better with his strokes and improving his own time. Any thoughts on how to motivate him and maybe help him get a little better with his timings? Currently he goes twice a week but has the option of going three times. Should I ask if he wants to practice 3 times? What would you do? Should I let him quit after his season?