Anonymous wrote:So I have worked where people get these types of checks. Many of them don't take them home b/c it is their play money. They do not want their spouse to know how much their is - and what they are doing with it.

When the organization I worked for wanted to have these direct deposited, you would hthe ave thought you were asking for a wage consession of 10% the way they reacted!

Question - do your deposits = your w2s?

Is there more happening here?

Our organization offers the option of splitting direct deposit into multiple accounts, presumably to send some directly into savings, but it could also be used to hide money from your spouse.

Agree that the issue is budgeting. DH and DW need to agree about what things you can spend your money on without telling the other person. I'm assuming that you don't need to know if DH buys a Snickers, but maybe new shoes are an issue given your income level.

Then there's the administrative aspect of it. If you're not living off of these extra checks, you need to know when they are deposited so you can move them to whatever savings account you're using.

I would be annoyed too OP. But the first issue is sitting down and talking through a budget. DH and I use credit cards for almost everything, and when I pay his bill each month, there aren't many surprises. You can't be all loosey goosey about spending habits.

So I have worked where people get these types of checks. Many of them don't take them home b/c it is their play money. They do not want their spouse to know how much their is - and what they are doing with it.

When the organization I worked for wanted to have these direct deposited, you would hthe ave thought you were asking for a wage consession of 10% the way they reacted!

Question - do your deposits = your w2s?

Is there more happening here?

Anonymous wrote:OP, set up online banking if you haven't already and then set up a mint account. If you check mint once or twice per week you will know how much was deposited. It's slightly more work for you but it solves the problems and you can save your fights for the bigger battles.

Agree with this. If you check your balance online, you will see how much is deposited. Probably easier just to do that and, like the pp said, focus on other things.

OP, set up online banking if you haven't already and then set up a mint account. If you check mint once or twice per week you will know how much was deposited. It's slightly more work for you but it solves the problems and you can save your fights for the bigger battles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP means that the amount of money from these checks changes from month to month so she needs to know when setting the budget how much is there available.

If you are trying to straighten up your finances, you need to run a tight ship. If you are putting random amounts at different times in your checking account, it makes things more complicated. I have been in a situation where every dollar had to be accounted in and out in a daily basis in order organize things and I understand what it takes.

OP HERE. This, exactly.

If you know when the checks are issued just check the amount online.

Agree with PP's that the issue is not when/how the checks are deposited, but budgeting/spending. Can't you look at the account daily to see what's been deposited, or have him tell you? And you need to SAVE to have more of a cushion in your checking account so you don't need to keep looking every day and pray for checks not to come through. That's a much bigger issue. The issue you are talking about is more about style/personality, and even if you deposited the checks you will not be able to control expenses on your own.

Anonymous wrote:I think the OP means that the amount of money from these checks changes from month to month so she needs to know when setting the budget how much is there available.

If you are trying to straighten up your finances, you need to run a tight ship. If you are putting random amounts at different times in your checking account, it makes things more complicated. I have been in a situation where every dollar had to be accounted in and out in a daily basis in order organize things and I understand what it takes.

OP HERE. This, exactly.

I think the OP means that the amount of money from these checks changes from month to month so she needs to know when setting the budget how much is there available.

If you are trying to straighten up your finances, you need to run a tight ship. If you are putting random amounts at different times in your checking account, it makes things more complicated. I have been in a situation where every dollar had to be accounted in and out in a daily basis in order organize things and I understand what it takes.

Anonymous wrote:What's the big deal if you actually see the check or he deposits it unless you think he's skimming before depositing ? So let him deposit them, discuss the checking account balance, make a savings account then start saving. From there you can both decide what to do.

I'm not understanding why you're so pissed.

Me neither, honestly. Also not sure what this has to do with setting a monthly budget.

I don't get it either. If you don't want the money sitting in your checking account because you think you will be tempted to spend it, set up a savings account that is linked to your checking account. Whenever you see that he has deposited extra money in the checking account, move it to the savings account. If you give your husband some deposit slips, he can probably deposit directly into the savings account himself. Once the money is in the savings account you can then decide if you want to leave it there or move it someplace else.

It sounds like your bigger issue is that you need to make a budget and you need to stop spending impulsively.

What's the big deal if you actually see the check or he deposits it unless you think he's skimming before depositing ? So let him deposit them, discuss the checking account balance, make a savings account then start saving. From there you can both decide what to do.

I'm not understanding why you're so pissed.

I'm DW. DH works way too much to also handle the budget so I agreed to COMPLETELY take it over. However, he hasn't quite grasped that yet and I am so freaking annoyed.

We get paid Friday. DH, however, makes side money through work (off duty) and gets paid for these hours in separate checks that are often times left in his work mail box. I have asked repeatedly that he BRING THE CHECKS home, so that I (or we if he's here and can take part in the discussion) can allocate the money accordingly. It never fails that instead of bringing the checks home that he goes to our checking account and deposits them.

This is a man who at bill pay time wonders where the hell money has been spent. We have a history of being spenders and not savers. Thus my request for him to bring extra money home first so that we can plan where is will go and he doesn't.

I can be a nag and do not want to be. Men, how do I explain respectfully to my husband that we need to quit depositing random money into checking account and instead plan? Honestly, when I tell him my ideas and he agrees but then goes against them, I get frustrated. HELP!