PP at 14:13, what is your close-in walkable neighborhood? My current neighborhood is super walkable and that's one of the things I assume I will have to give up when I move outside of the district. Would love to know where you are!

Anonymous wrote:This is OP - thanks, all! What I want to know is how I can find a house on a street with young families and block parties and great new friends like a couple of the PPs. Either of you want to post your neighborhood? And the PP who said that I'll still see the good friends and the peripheral ones will fade is wise and I'm sure that's true. It just seems like such a massive change that I'm not sure I'm ready for yet. But I know I need to do it in the near future.

Are you all happier in your new houses with space and a yard? Any regrets?

SFH neighborhoods in walkable areas tend to attract social people. Higher density causes more interaction. Throw in a good public school and it will be teeming with families that wanted a little more yard than a rowhouse provides.

We were thrilled with our new house and yard (not too big that yardwork isn't a big deal). Kids go to the park a lot. Having a place where guests could park (I still need to give them parking hangers) but they aren't circling around the neighborhood for a 1/2 hour looking for a spot--is fabulous.

We have more to walk to now than I did before and I was in an active part of NW. Metro and all amenities (gyms, grocerys, bars, restaurants, parks, movie theather, drycleaners, coffee shops, some retail, hair salons, oil changes (means a lot when you can walk home after dropping it off), dentist, nail salons, massage center, etc., etc. are all within a few blocks...yet the neighborhood itself manages to retain some of suburbia.

Anonymous wrote:Op-- we moved to a close-in, walkable neighborhood.

Now- i don't want to drive or metro anywhere. It is just so convenient (especially when you are drinking) to keep it local.

You may find that YOU are the one that changes. You might find that going into the city seems like a hassle and be just like the people that find coming into VA a hassle.

I now think of going 10-15 miles---as a long trip. I hate getting in my car.

That said--for good friends--we BOTH take the hit. One of the benefits of my move is I now have a great spare bedroom off a rec room that dc friends and family have been known to crash and then do brunch in the morning.

You can't build your life around others because one day they may decide to up and move.

Ahh hahh, you are a drunkard and hate cars. I get it now. Let us know if you need links to alcohol addiction information.

Anonymous wrote:Op-- we moved to a close-in, walkable neighborhood.

Now- i don't want to drive or metro anywhere. It is just so convenient (especially when you are drinking) to keep it local.

You may find that YOU are the one that changes. You might find that going into the city seems like a hassle and be just like the people that find coming into VA a hassle.

I now think of going 10-15 miles---as a long trip. I hate getting in my car.

That said--for good friends--we BOTH take the hit. One of the benefits of my move is I now have a great spare bedroom off a rec room that dc friends and family have been known to crash and then do brunch in the morning.

You can't build your life around others because one day they may decide to up and move.

What happened during your childhood that you hate cars? Cars not inanimate objects. You should seek help for that fear.

Op-- we moved to a close-in, walkable neighborhood.

Now- i don't want to drive or metro anywhere. It is just so convenient (especially when you are drinking) to keep it local.

You may find that YOU are the one that changes. You might find that going into the city seems like a hassle and be just like the people that find coming into VA a hassle.

I now think of going 10-15 miles---as a long trip. I hate getting in my car.

That said--for good friends--we BOTH take the hit. One of the benefits of my move is I now have a great spare bedroom off a rec room that dc friends and family have been known to crash and then do brunch in the morning.

You can't build your life around others because one day they may decide to up and move.

I would recommend doing it sooner rather than later, especially if you plan on public school. We didn't move to our public school until high school and we have certainly met some great families through sports, etc., but a lot of the parents know each other going back to elementary school and we don't have that connection. It's not that people aren't friendly, but there aren't as many parent opportunities in high school (and middle school) as there are in elementary school.

Your friendships, particularly kid based ones, change over time anyway. We still see DC-based friends but it's mostly us going to DC rather than them making the trek all the way across the MD line (we live one mile over the line, well inside the beltway, but you'd think it was Siberia).

This is OP - thanks, all! What I want to know is how I can find a house on a street with young families and block parties and great new friends like a couple of the PPs. Either of you want to post your neighborhood? And the PP who said that I'll still see the good friends and the peripheral ones will fade is wise and I'm sure that's true. It just seems like such a massive change that I'm not sure I'm ready for yet. But I know I need to do it in the near future.

Are you all happier in your new houses with space and a yard? Any regrets?

We left DC for the MD inner burbs, and our social circle and social life expanded. Like PP, that's because we moved to a street with lots of young families. Also, because we had some friends already in the inner burbs and it was now easier to see them.

We still see our DC friends, but not all the time because of one of the following:
a) our calendar is already stacked
b) they are glamorous globe trotters, so getting together is a bit tougher



I will admit--we didn't know that our street was so awesome before we moved.

If someone wouldn't make the effort (barring an emergency) to go from DC to inner MoCo or Arlington, or vice versa, for a planned get together, I'd think that person was kind of a prick.

13:38 again. I'd also agree with what 13:33 said... they will start to not invite you to some things thinking they're being nice "oh, they don't want to come all the way here for that, and we don't want them to feel bad that they can't make it...".

In all honesty, yes, I think it might sometimes make things more complicated. Your concern about your friends' bias can be a real one. We purposely avoided moving out of the district and bought a place at the southern end of CCDC. We recently had a friend who said he didn't have time to get "all the way up" to our place one evening from Woodley Park to come over. It is three miles, there was no traffic, and you don't even make any turns! And our Capitol Hill friends are exceptionally difficult about leaving their neighborhood.

And I confess that we have a strong bias against going to Virginia. It just seems so hard to get there from our neighborhood. We try to make it, it just seems like it requires so much advance planning.

All that being said, you're not going to lose your good friends. Maybe you'll just shift around when and how you hang out; a long get together on weekends, or quicker stop-ins after work in DC before you head back to your house. And over time, you'll both naturally meet new people in the burbs and your friends in the city will move out as well, or move somewhere else, or you'll just grow apart.

Not trying to minimize a real concern, I just think you can do a little TOO much planning around what your social network will look like 1, 5 or 10 years from now. Your peripheral friends will change no matter what, and your best friends will still be in your life even if you move to France.

Anonymous wrote:Here's my story - have lived in DC almost ten years, all of it in Dupont Circle. DH and I both are at work in under 30 minutes. We now have 2 kids, one in a good public elementary school, one not in school yet. We are currently renting a "big enough" apartment and really like DC's school but it's not what I want forever. I can't afford a house in my current neighborhood and probably wouldn't want one because our middle school and high school options are bad and we can't afford/aren't interested in private school. What I want is a nice, normal house with a yard in a good neighborhood with good public schools that does not give me or DH a long commute (both downtown). That's probably not doable on my budget ($800,000ish).

So, that means I probably have to go to the close in suburbs, maybe even farther out ones. Here's my big concern - do I have to completely remake my social life? Most of my friends live in the district - Chevy Chase DC is about as far as anyone is from me. Several on Capitol Hill. Have tons of friends in my neighborhood and love going out to dinner with them (am in walking distance to all the restaurants on 14th street). DH has more friends in the burbs than I do but most of them are in Virginia and when I go out there, it seems far. My DC friends all complain about having to leave the district for anything.

I am honestly not trying to start a war about whether DC, MD, or VA is better - I just want to hear from people who have left DC about whether they had to make all new friends in the new location, whether MD or VA. Thanks.

This was just us a year ago and in general I will say yes, you basically do. At least for the "see them once or more a week" kind of friends. Not even because DC people "don't want to come to the burbs" (though you'll find some of that) but because, other than weekends, it's just not really practical. Especially if said friends work in the District like most of ours do -- either I have pick up my kids in VA and then make my way to the city or they're doing the reverse (with rush hour traffic mind you). And as kids get older and have more commitments on the weekends it's even less feasible. One of the ways we often saw our friends was because of sports practice and games, when you move you'll be on different teams so you don't even have that (but can with new friends).

It's a little sad and not what you were looking to hear I'm sure but it has been our experience. And we were in DC longer than you (FWIW). It's not that we aren't friends with our DC friends anymore, it's just that we only see them occasionally. Life takes over, it happens.

Are you willing to drive into dc to see your friends? Don't expect them to come to virginia.

Since you would be in virginia, they may not think to invite you as often because they may figure you will be far away.

We left.

We have an even larger circle of friends in the close-in neighborhood because every single house is a young family. All of the kids go to the same schools. They all play on the same sports teams. It's walkable so you see the same people out on the sidewalks and in the stores all of the time. There are block parties and parades and events. Things are much more family oriented--but having entertainment venues walkable--adults are more likely to step out with a local babysitter.

We left, but we didn't lose our friends. I still see many of my DC friends. Of course, not as much as I used to. In the young child ages weekends and evenings start rotating around kid's activities anyways. We still get together.

I think you will find this is the time when a lot of your circle starts making the move. I think we have about 1-2 families still left in DC--out of a pretty large group. Our area had crap middle and HS so many with more than 1 kid left for good publics...and a bit of yard.

Here's my story - have lived in DC almost ten years, all of it in Dupont Circle. DH and I both are at work in under 30 minutes. We now have 2 kids, one in a good public elementary school, one not in school yet. We are currently renting a "big enough" apartment and really like DC's school but it's not what I want forever. I can't afford a house in my current neighborhood and probably wouldn't want one because our middle school and high school options are bad and we can't afford/aren't interested in private school. What I want is a nice, normal house with a yard in a good neighborhood with good public schools that does not give me or DH a long commute (both downtown). That's probably not doable on my budget ($800,000ish).

So, that means I probably have to go to the close in suburbs, maybe even farther out ones. Here's my big concern - do I have to completely remake my social life? Most of my friends live in the district - Chevy Chase DC is about as far as anyone is from me. Several on Capitol Hill. Have tons of friends in my neighborhood and love going out to dinner with them (am in walking distance to all the restaurants on 14th street). DH has more friends in the burbs than I do but most of them are in Virginia and when I go out there, it seems far. My DC friends all complain about having to leave the district for anything.

I am honestly not trying to start a war about whether DC, MD, or VA is better - I just want to hear from people who have left DC about whether they had to make all new friends in the new location, whether MD or VA. Thanks.