Anonymous wrote:When adopting, it's best to nurture attachment relationships, which is why a nanny would be best emotionallly for the child, and a nanny-share would be best financially for you while still coming as close to the emotional needs as possible. Please keep in mind this baby will be going through a trauma, and trauma can alter brain chemistry.

Great point. Maybe we'll look at finding a way to afford a nanny or nanny share for the first year (particularly as I work from home.. but I have set hours) so I can spend some time w/kid during the day.

When we were adopting in 2009 we faced this problem. We toured the Child Development Center inside the Department of Labor. We didn't know any of the answers to the usual questions, like "Boy or a girl?", "When will you need a place?", and "How old is your child?" The staff were very understanding and somehow found a place for our son when my wife was ready to return to work having spent a couple of months bonding at home. We later learned our son was one of three adopted children in his class. Our daughter just started there last summer. It's a similar situation in that we're foster parents to her and she's older than a newborn. (We're on a path to adopting her). The teachers there are wonderful, especially for toddlers. The cost is about $360 a week. The other plus with this child development center is that it has an outdoor playground, which many in D.C. don't. The full name is the Esther Peterson Child Development Center at the Department of Labor and the website is nobellearningdol.com. You don't have to be a DOL employee or to work in the building to send your child to this school.

When adopting, it's best to nurture attachment relationships, which is why a nanny would be best emotionallly for the child, and a nanny-share would be best financially for you while still coming as close to the emotional needs as possible. Please keep in mind this baby will be going through a trauma, and trauma can alter brain chemistry.

Are you expecting a domestic or an international adoption OP? How much time do you anticipate you will have off work with the child? An international adoption of an older infant + time off could make the child more in toddler range than newborn. A nanny share could be great.

I assume you expect to adopt a newborn, right? I ask because we adopted an older infant and after we took a 6 month maternity leave, she was old enough to go into the toddler room, which didn't have any wait.

Given that the adoption process can take years and that there is so much uncertainty in the timing, there is a limit as to what you can do. Thing I found the most helpful was to understand all of the options and to visit every single place that I considered an option. When I got my adoption date after making travel arrangements my next call was to my first choice provider bthats gave me a out three and a half months until my return to work date. Worked out great for numbers one and three but number two was difficult. We did a lot of creative use of our time off until we eventually had a viable plan.

Good luck with your adoption. I'm sure it doesn't feel like it now but child are is probably one of the least of your worries.

Anonymous wrote:The year long waiting lists are mostly in downtown DC and mostly for large centers (which you derisively refer to as "bulk daycare"). For an infant, the "bulk daycare" center my DD went to when she was a baby was about $1800/month - which is about $1900-2000 in today's dollars. We were on that waiting list for about 8 months, such that I'd already begun interviewing nannies when I got the call that a space was available for her the month I needed it.

When I was looking for nannies, I put up an ad on SitterCity. Got many really wonderful applicants. $20/hour is certainly really high. I believe that we advertised being willing to pay $12-15/hour for a person to look after one infant with no additional responsibilities like housework or laundry. All the applicants were fine with that.

Sorry. Wasn't meant to be derisive.

We adopted. It took us many years to adopt so we didn't bother with wait lists. It was a big mistake and I ended up staying home as the one day care I found changed our start date and I had to go back to work or lose my job. Some will allow you to sign up pending as one day care called us 2 years later with a spot. It is very stressful to wait and a big mistake. You are adjusting to a new child, buying everything (we did not pre buy anything) and trying to get the paperwork, home visits and finalize the adoption. It doesn't always work out so don't leave it to the last minute like the PP said. We did that and I was basically out of a job.

I assume you or your partner if you have one will be taking some time off to spend with the baby after adoption. If you do in-home daycare (in the provider's home, not your home), you should have time over your adoption leave to find a place. It can feel stressful, but it usually works out ok.

Even if you do "bulk childcare," you will need to budget $200-$350 per week for childcare. If I were you, I would start visiting centers and in-home daycares now to see what you might expect at different price points and ask about their waitlist policies. You might be able to bridge any waitlist with a nanny or nanny share for a few months. I would reach out on your neighborhood parenting list to see what kind of options people are using. Good luck.

OP a nanny share can make it much more affordable.

The year long waiting lists are mostly in downtown DC and mostly for large centers (which you derisively refer to as "bulk daycare"). For an infant, the "bulk daycare" center my DD went to when she was a baby was about $1800/month - which is about $1900-2000 in today's dollars. We were on that waiting list for about 8 months, such that I'd already begun interviewing nannies when I got the call that a space was available for her the month I needed it.

When I was looking for nannies, I put up an ad on SitterCity. Got many really wonderful applicants. $20/hour is certainly really high. I believe that we advertised being willing to pay $12-15/hour for a person to look after one infant with no additional responsibilities like housework or laundry. All the applicants were fine with that.

I live in S. Arlington. I have been reading here and am overwhelmed at the idea of paying $20/hour.. we just don't have that kind of money to be spending $40k/year on child care.

Where do you live? It can be pretty quick to arrange for a nanny share or nanny in DC. You should be able to do it with plenty of time on your adoption leave. While you are waiting, I would start to get familiar with the various listservs where you can get nanny recommendations, as well as payroll companies, workers comp insurance, an understanding of common salaries and costs, etc.

Hi,
We're in the adoption process right now and have no idea when or how to start looking for day care for our infant, who we have no idea when will come. I keep hearing horror stories of year-long waiting lists and thousands upon thousands of dollars a month.
We would prefer not to put our child in a "bulk daycare" if possible but are also clueless as to what we're looking for as options, best case scenarios, reasonable expectations of cost, etc. -- particularly as we have no idea when we will be placed.
Ideas? Thoughts?