Generally schools don't just take kids' word for it that they are independent. (Lower cost or state schools may; expensive private schools don't.) Otherwise everyone would claim to be independent to get more financial aid from the school. Students often have to show legal proof that a parent is not contributing, letters from clergy or others, or something.

It was a huge hassle for me at the time - my dad made much more than my mom. He claimed he would help, but I knew that would never, ever happen and he would never have signed something saying he wouldn't be contributing. My financial aid package for nicer private schools always included a parental contribution that was utterly unrealistic.

(I went to a state school on a full ride, so no harm done.)

Sorry, 20:45, I'm the PP and was referring to 20:51, not you.

If only it was that easy. I'm the PP who has her ex paying for college per the settlement agreement, and I had to pay for college 100%. I tried every avenue I could to check that "independent" box on the FAFSA but given my typical age (18 for college) I wasn't eligible to check that. I could check it if I was married, had a child, was in the military (I think) and a few other requirements that I didn't meet. So it had my "parents" as contributing a TON when I actuality they didn't give me a dime. Maybe things have changed in the last 15 years though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College is between the child and the parent. A parent is not obligated to pay for college.

Except that they are. Do you know nothing of FAFSA?

I do. And there is a box to check if you are independent. 18 is an adult and legally a parent is no longer any financial obligation to a child. If the parent and child have a relationship, it is not uncommon for a parent to contribute to college, but they are not legally obligated to. Unlike child support, there will be no wage garnishment for failure to pay.

Why don't you do some more research on how the laws changed in 1992. No one under 24 can declare themselves independent for the purposes of paying for college. Many states mandate a plan to pay for college in the divorce decree.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:College is between the child and the parent. A parent is not obligated to pay for college.

Except that they are. Do you know nothing of FAFSA?

I do. And there is a box to check if you are independent. 18 is an adult and legally a parent is no longer any financial obligation to a child. If the parent and child have a relationship, it is not uncommon for a parent to contribute to college, but they are not legally obligated to. Unlike child support, there will be no wage garnishment for failure to pay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex is paying for the equivalent of in-state tuition for our two children for a total of four years each, provided they keep above a "C" average. In exchange, I let go of all my rights to his pension and retirement accounts. Plenty of people said that I was crazy, but I knew what I wanted for my kids.

Thanks PP. My ex doesn't want anything in writing. I'm also giving up a lot for it, but I know this is mandatory. Was he unwilling to pay more than state tuition (eg private school).

Yes, he was unwilling to pay more than the average state tuition rate (I think we agreed on the going rate for full time tuition at UVA as the standard) but I was fine with that. If the kids want to go to a private school they can get scholarships and such.

As for the others saying college is between the parent and the child, yes, you're clearly correct. However in divorce/settlement agreements, it's all negotiable I think. I knew that I didn't want my children to have to worry about how to pay for college. I paid for my college education 100% on my own but it lead to a whole bunch of issues, including an early marriage and significant student loan debt I'm still dealing with as a now single parent. I did not want my children to have to be in the same situation I'd found myself in, so I agreed to not go after any of his retirement (which was/is a significant amount) if he agreed to college tuition. Seemed like a fair agreement to me, considering what I wanted for the kids. We'll see how it all works out. They won't be in college for another 8+ years.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing, at 18, the kids are adults. It should depend on the child's relationship with the parent (s) and their willingness to pay. Married parents are not required to pay, so divorced should not be either.

So if you don't like your kids the don't get to go to college?

Anonymous wrote:College is between the child and the parent. A parent is not obligated to pay for college.

Except that they are. Do you know nothing of FAFSA?

Anonymous wrote:My ex is paying for the equivalent of in-state tuition for our two children for a total of four years each, provided they keep above a "C" average. In exchange, I let go of all my rights to his pension and retirement accounts. Plenty of people said that I was crazy, but I knew what I wanted for my kids.

Above C average? Ridiculous. A B average or start paying for it themselves.

College is between the child and the parent. A parent is not obligated to pay for college.

Nothing, at 18, the kids are adults. It should depend on the child's relationship with the parent (s) and their willingness to pay. Married parents are not required to pay, so divorced should not be either.

my agreement only says that we will equally cover all college and associated expenses. I contribute to the 529 College Plan (VA) but exW has chosen not to do so. So she's technically on the hook to come up with cash when DD goes to college.

But the truth of the matter is that the college fund (at current rate of conservative growth + continued maximum contributions for the next 3-4 years) will not only pay for all the college tuition (assuming DD goes to a private college/university) but also grad school. So I'm not worried about it to be honest.

Anonymous wrote:My ex is paying for the equivalent of in-state tuition for our two children for a total of four years each, provided they keep above a "C" average. In exchange, I let go of all my rights to his pension and retirement accounts. Plenty of people said that I was crazy, but I knew what I wanted for my kids.

Thanks PP. My ex doesn't want anything in writing. I'm also giving up a lot for it, but I know this is mandatory. Was he unwilling to pay more than state tuition (eg private school).

My ex is paying for the equivalent of in-state tuition for our two children for a total of four years each, provided they keep above a "C" average. In exchange, I let go of all my rights to his pension and retirement accounts. Plenty of people said that I was crazy, but I knew what I wanted for my kids.

What does your divorce agreement say about college?