Anonymous wrote:My husband's family is into mailed greeting cards for birthdays, which annoys me no end. They purchase cards, sign their name to the bottom (no other comment) and consider that a birthday remembrance. I view it as wasteful and unnecessary.

Wow. The inhumanity. They thought of you.

You seem kind of bitchy.

Gah, no way do I (or would I) keep track of the "deals" someone else may/may not be making on a gift card exchange. Seriously, you all might be better off doing a small stocking gift exchange with a no gift card/nothing over 20 bucks rule. Then buy your own darned gift cards.

She doesn't want to buy you a gift, feels obligated, and figures if she has to waste money on you guys she should get something out of the deal.

Anonymous wrote:My in-laws decided that the grand kids all give and get presents from each other, and give and get presents from the grandparents. Who buys all these presents? The daughter in laws who also have to make dinner for everyone. All the boys seem incapable of helping with this tradition their mother came up with. Fabulous. Oh, and their religion means no wine all day. Sigh.

If you do all those things, with no help, just because your MIL wants you to, then I have absolutely zero sympathy for you. Also, what sort of man is your husband to not step in and help?

Weird.

My in-laws decided that the grand kids all give and get presents from each other, and give and get presents from the grandparents. Who buys all these presents? The daughter in laws who also have to make dinner for everyone. All the boys seem incapable of helping with this tradition their mother came up with. Fabulous. Oh, and their religion means no wine all day. Sigh.

I wish my SIL still have us the $25 gift cards she used to give. Now she gives us any item she can re-gift or whatever clearance item she can find under $3. I'm shocked at the things she has wrapped as gifts the last few years.

Next year, give her the gift cards back. If she likes the restaurant, she'll put it to good use.

My husband's family is into mailed greeting cards for birthdays, which annoys me no end. They purchase cards, sign their name to the bottom (no other comment) and consider that a birthday remembrance. I view it as wasteful and unnecessary.

What annoys me is the wild swings in the gifts. One year it is a pair of running shoes, another it is a check for serious money, another it might be a $50 amazon gift card. Their income doesn't vary so I don't get it. Are we being rewarded or punished for our behavior during the year?

Anonymous wrote:Actually I was going to say the whole fact that my ILs still give gifts to adults is what's annoying to me

Agree 100%
I don't need them picking things out for me, and I don't need to be picking things out for them (or nagging husband to). Everyone has more than enough and buys what they want year-round, so gifts are ridiculous. We all know we love each other and show that in many other ways! And we have young kids they can focus all their attention on. We are slowly making progress

Actually I was going to say the whole fact that my ILs still give gifts to adults is what's annoying to me

Can you regift the gift cards?

Consider yourself lucky. We're pretty sure my BIL steals the $20 per kid that we send to his kids with their gifts. What we get in return is a complaint that we didn't send him $1,000. (Yes, seriously.)

That said, my mom and I decided to skip the gift card thing because it did seem silly after a few years. We've set up wish lists on Amazon to help the other figure out what might be appreciated. Maybe you should see if SIL would be willing to do that.

Can you be happy just to receive her gifts even if she gets a discount for herself? Give from the heart, not out of a feeling of obligation or reciprocated expectations.

For me, it's definitely the gift card exchanges with the SIL. All we do is give gift cards to each other. For the first few years, we always exchanged $100 gift cards with SIL and her husband. Then noticed that she always tried to buy restaurant gift cards where she could earn an extra $20 or save an extra $20 (like ones from costco). This year was even stranger as she only gifted a $50 giftcard where she earned $10 at the restaurant. I feel no purpose in exchanging giftcards each year but DH says it's a tradition for the adults to exchange as well. Btw, we still have restaurant gift cards from the last 3 Xmas'.