OP, you're posting over and over to add more reasons you have issues.

Just BE "rude" and don't see them for the holiday. They clearly think they are the family "jokers" who make everything fun (Elmo balloons? feeding spinach pie to the dogs? hanging up on you ha ha ha it was a joke, where's your sense of humor....).

Be too busy to see them. Why, why, WHY do you care if they consider you rude? Why does that matter to you in one post, but then you put up a succession of posts listing more and more reasons you dislike them?

Be too busy, have other places to be. "Oh, we have other plans this year; we're taking a family vacation to X." Or "We have plans and won't be around." That is not saying "we're leaving town." Not being "around" could just mean you are home but busy. And you are, right? With your own nuclear family? Or will dad and wife be at your doorstep saying, "Aha! You ARE in town, you liars!" If they do that they're stalkerish anyway. Seriously, be too busy.

You don't have to justify or give excuses; just say you have other plans and when they pester and give you the guilt trip, asking, "What plans? What is more important than family?" smile a huge smile, get all misty-eyed and say, "Oh, family's very important and this year we are just having Christmas with us (spouse and kids) and won't be coming to you/hosting you this time. Maybe see you in the new year."

Be the grown-up that they are not -- make your own plans rather than just venting about them. YOU have to have the guts to make that move.

I know I'm an adult. I'm not entitled nor do I need his money. I've said that about everything in adulthood my wedding, college etc...

I meant 10 dollar gift.

The year they built their 5000 square foot house was "Christmas Light". I got a 10 gift...and that is not unusual.

Not a chance that they would give us anything. My sister lost her job (worked in the construction industry) and they asked her to take them to the airport and didn't even offer to pay gas 200 miles (100 miles to take them and go home x2)

Run, run, run away from them. Cut them off.

Unless ...they give you money and stuff???

I could go on for hours...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I try to stay away as much as possible but I can't at Christmas unless I want to be rude. More fodder of why I dread them. I've watched their dogs for a week or two at time while they went on vacation several times. The first time they brought back nothing to thank us. The second time, they asked if I would like something and I asked for tshirts for the kids. When they returned they had nothing for the kids because it wasn't a shopping trip.

You're mistaking rudeness for self preservation.

LOL I was typing my last comment when you wrote this.

Or how about the time that my husband spent 8 hours digging them out of the snow before Christmas and caught bronchitis the next day? We received barely a thank you.

Anonymous wrote: I try to stay away as much as possible but I can't at Christmas unless I want to be rude. More fodder of why I dread them. I've watched their dogs for a week or two at time while they went on vacation several times. The first time they brought back nothing to thank us. The second time, they asked if I would like something and I asked for tshirts for the kids. When they returned they had nothing for the kids because it wasn't a shopping trip.

You're mistaking rudeness for self preservation.

I try to stay away as much as possible but I can't at Christmas unless I want to be rude. More fodder of why I dread them. I've watched their dogs for a week or two at time while they went on vacation several times. The first time they brought back nothing to thank us. The second time, they asked if I would like something and I asked for tshirts for the kids. When they returned they had nothing for the kids because it wasn't a shopping trip.

Your dad and his wife sound extremely strange. Feeding your food to the dog sounds like the least offensive thing he's done lately.

Stay away from them?

OP here... Sorry for the typos. I could go on and on. I'm trying to stay on the lighter side of the hurtful things in these postings.

I use to make a family favorite dish for Christmas which is complicated small and completely inappropriate for dogs (spinach pie). Two years ago, my dad
brought his dogs to our house and fed them leftover spinach pie. I was so mad and the next year when he came I told him the spinach pie was for the family and not for the dogs. Of course, he fed the dogs the pie anyway. This year I won't be making spinach pie due to his behavior and I am mad that I have to change my holidy tradition due to his immaturity. Obviously, we have more issues than that but to me the spinach pie represents his lack of consideration throughout my life. He was born very wealthy and has acted like a spoiled child his entire life. One time when I called over to their house his wife answered the phone and hung up on me when I asked her to speak with my dad saying they didn't want any. They thought it was a funny joke. Honestly, I feel like theygo out if there way to purposely hurt me. They've shown up to a birthday party for my DD without a present. They went to Disney World and brought a gift back for my 7 year old but not my 10 year old. Bringing a gift back for neither is fine but one is uncool. One year they proposed to bring balloons for my DD's birthday but called a few hours before saying they couldn't find any. My dad had a birthday 4 months later and they insisted that we come over and he had 5 Elmo balloons for himself. When my DD was a toddler, my stepmom bought toddler gifts for my dad to open in front of her. They were gifts for my dad.


I know I need to laugh at this but ir hurts. I'm sure I'm not the only one with parents like this. How do you handle this?