To be blunt, I think being "socially/emotionally behind" where it's just an issue of personality, and not a special needs diagnosis, is a non-issue. It's unrealistic and unhealthy to expect every child to be at the same level when entering kindergarten - there will be a continuum and if your son is at the lower level, so be it. He will catch up, and I assure you that the same kids who are behind at age 5 are not necessarily the same kids who will be struggling with the entirely different set of emotional and social problems that come when you hit puberty.

I think my son (April) would have benefited from another year. Social was okay, but other maturity issues were there.

I would send him on time given his April birthday but take a serious look at your son's social/emotional well being.

Do you (or maybe ask an outsider - someone not super close to the situation who can be a bit more objective) think he is in the normal range of social/emotional behavior but just at the lower end? Or are there other issues that need to be addressed by a specialist?

Too many times, I've seen preschool teachers recommend a boy be redshirted even though they had spring birthdays (I'm okay with redshirting summer boys but give the side eye to spring boys) when they really needed to work with a private therapist. Redshirting would have done nothing for those boys.

OP here. Thanks all for sharing your thoughts and experiences. A big concern for me is the larger emotional gap at an older age, when things get more complicated socially. Sounds like a lot of kids catch up, which is encouraging.

Anonymous wrote:He is more emotional than some of the other older children. I am hoping that by March we will be able to see if he has "matured" a little and make a more informed decision. Teacher has only best interest at heart, no agenda and very open to revisiting issue in March.

Not a big deal, some children are just naturally more emotional than others. I was worried about it when I sent my child but it's amazing to see how he matured in kindergarten. Now in first grade and although he is goofy, he is smart and doesn't get in trouble in class.

I would send him. Pretty much all the effects of redshirting are gone by 3rd grade when the less mature kids catch up.
he will be fine. Most of the world doesn't redshirt and kids are able to handle school. He will be bored learning his ABCs and to count to 100 in K when he is 7.

thanks PP, that is really helpful

He is more emotional than some of the other older children. I am hoping that by March we will be able to see if he has "matured" a little and make a more informed decision. Teacher has only best interest at heart, no agenda and very open to revisiting issue in March.

Anonymous wrote:DS has April bday. He is really advanced in reading and writing, comprehension is great. Some math, but not as advanced as lit. skills.

I would not be opposed to repeat K except it seems like if all his classmates were moving up, that would be harder on him (plus the enormous cost of private K).

I would send him with that old of a birthday. It will be fine. He will be in the middle of the pack.

Barring and developmental issues, there is no reason to keep him out a year since he is so old.

I say this as a mom of three boys, one the very youngest in his grade, one on the older end of his grade, and one with an April birthday right in the middle of the grade.

The youngest/grade was the most advanced academically of the three, but the youngest behavior wise. First semester of K was very, very rough, but second was much better and by first grade he was socially and behaviorally on target with all of his classmates and the most advanced academically in his grade. We are hitting middle school years now, and I can see that he is a little younger socially than many of his friends, but not by much and not in a way that stunts him socially. I am glad we didn't hold him out to make him one of the oldest.

Your kid will be fine going on time.

How behind socially/emotionally? Could he catch up by August? What's your opinion of the teacher? How much experience does the teacher have? Does the teacher have an agenda? Would he go to public or private?

DS has April bday. He is really advanced in reading and writing, comprehension is great. Some math, but not as advanced as lit. skills.

I would not be opposed to repeat K except it seems like if all his classmates were moving up, that would be harder on him (plus the enormous cost of private K).

When is his bday?

Is he pre reading/counting/writing?

We're looking at a similar issue. My plan is to enroll DS in T/K program that follows the county curriculum. At then end of the program, he can either repeat K at his new school or if he's socially ready, he can enter 1st at his new school and be on par with his age.

Why don't you see what the kindergarten suggests.

Top of the class academically and behind socially/emotionally ... want to do what's best for him. Very new to the idea of "redshirting."

1. Anyone who went ahead and enrolled for K against the advice of Pre-k teacher and ended up happy and eventually caught up socially? or the opposite?
2. Is there any stigma attached to older boys applying to privates, ie-are admissions harder?
3. If your DS was super smart but immature and you kept him in pre-K, later on were the academics challenging enough?

I realize this is a controversial issue, and understand parent's complaints about older kids in the class. I am hoping for some real advice rather than rants about birthdays/competition, etc.