Anonymous wrote:I suggest contacting your local Area Agency on Aging for guidance. http://www.n4a.org

I agree with this. I'd also suggest you look for an elder care lawyer to assist you https://www.naela.org/ . When my widowed FIL had a massive stroke, we struggled to find care options for him. Let me re-phrase that. There are lots of care facilities but you need someone who can help you with the financial and legal planning for everything. It was such a freakin nightmare for us that I've seriously considered opening my own business to assist others who were in the same position we were. There's such a steep learning curve, the stakes are really high, you get all this knowledge/experience the hard way and then you never use it. I would have gladly hired someone.

Oh - I think it is a very wise decision not to move your father in with you. We nearly divorced over it.

I suggest contacting your local Area Agency on Aging for guidance. http://www.n4a.org

I would encourage you to look for a facility that is close to you. My grandparents have been in assisted living facilities and nursing homes and when they were further away, it made it really difficult for my father to go and address any emergency issues.

They did not have mental health issues though my grandmother had dementia but I do remember seeing younger residents when I went to visit.

My grandparents were in the following facilities and only changed due to logistics and worsening health:

Heartfields in Bowie, Maryland

Sunrise in Annapolis, Maryland

and my grandmother eventually came to Emeritus in Arlington near Ballston.

Emeritus had a wide range of residents from those who needed constant care to more independent residents that had specific medical needs.

The staff at each facility were caring and good at their jobs. I do agree with getting on a waiting list. It is difficult to get a spot.

Good Luck!

Ha e you looked into St. Luke's House in Montgomery County?

You can hire a geriatric social worker to help you find a place for your father. You can also ask the county about group living situations for mentally ill people. My sister used to live in one, but I don't recall how we found out about it.

Hi OP, I don't have any great ideas, just sympathy - this sounds hard.

You might try calling the county offices for senior citizen services - they usually have pretty good listings of care facilities, attorneys who specialize in geriatric work, etc...

Good luck.

I'd keep looking for an Asst. Living facility. Many have long wait lists, especially if they are government subsidized.

He would not be too young for Asst Living, by the way. My dad is in a LT care facility and there all all ages and stages. Many AL communities have minimum age of 55.

My father is mentally unstable - depression, anxiety, OCD, you name it. He is only 65 and in fine physical health other than Diabetes which he has trouble managing because of his mental health difficulties. Because he is not suicidal, there are no facilities that will keep him. We have resorted to looking for assisted living facilities since he is unable to live alone anymore. I am not crazy about this option. I don't have room for him to live with us and we don't have any other family in the area. My mother is deceased.

Any recommendations for next steps? I'd love recommendations for assisted living facilities that might work for him or for another alternative. I still think he's a little young for assisted living and since the prime issue is mental health I'd rather him be somewhere focused on that. Unfortunately, he's been to three inpatient facilities for mental health and all deemed him not severe enough to stay for a long period of time. TIA.