There was a study that showed most people who left regretted leaving but also did not want to deal with reconciliation.

I think it was Shirley glass that I read that.

BTW, my ex missed me, we reconciled,and we are fine but I would be happier if my ex from college came back to reconcile. Dang! I loved that guy! Or whatever I imaged he was.

No, not at all.

Only as the father of my kid. I am hoping to like him more again after the divorce is all settled. Right now -- not a lot of love.

I regret my divorce.

Love, no.

Every time I think about my ex and how much I once loved him, I fortunately also remember all of the emotional manipulation, physical abuse, etc. if I forget, it's not long until his next "episode" anyway.

Hell no! He can disappear for all I care.

I think having love for that person as your child's parent is totally normal. I'm sure my DH feels something like that for his ex wife- just a general concern for her well being because she is their child's mother. (And vice versa on her end.) But active, deep love, no. I doubt most divorced people have that for one another.

Yes. I was the one who chose not to reconcile. I have love for him and grief for the life I thought we would have together, but I also have resentment for the many ways he failed me in our marriage. In the end, the things I could not get over were greater than the things I grieve now.

He's a good person. A good dad. I think he will probably be a better partner to his next wife than he was to me. Or, at the very least, he will make different mistakes. I also learned how to be a better partner as a result of the failure of my first marriage.

Been 4 years and nope, not an ounce of love or even affection. We have children together and I see him often. It's like a flat line (which I prefer to the intense negative feelings that sometimes try to creep in). I feel wronged by him and those negative feelings are my inability to truly forgive him. I just try to ignore him most of the time. If I never saw him again, I would feel better...but for my kids, I put on a smile and act like a grown up.

I had no feelings really from the day we decided it was over. I assume the love was gone before that. I think he had some lingering feelings, but I'm not sure it was love.

I hope it subsides for you.

I think sometimes the woman will miss the sex if the new guy isn't as good.

Anonymous wrote:Do you think you still love him or do you still love the idea of the life you thought you'd have together?

This is me. I think I miss the idea of the life I thought we would have together and the family we created for our DCs. It was a long marriage. He left me for someone else. I know that there is no way to forget what he said and did. And still oddly enough, I do miss some parts of our marriage and him. I don't think I love him anymore, but not sure. I am recently divorced, so hopefully this will subside with time.

Do you think you still love him or do you still love the idea of the life you thought you'd have together?

No. Not at all.

I don't think of him often at all. When I do, I don't actively wish him ill anymore (it's been several years now, all the sore spots have healed) - but I don't miss him, either. Not even a little bit.

I'm perfectly happy never to talk to him again.

You are probably my husband's awful excuse for an ex-wife. Oh well, worked out great for me

if i'm honest with myself i still do. and i'm the one who left and rejected any proposal for reconciliation. but if i am honest, i think i still do love him and in a way always will.