Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:50
Subject: Re:How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
this is from several friends now grown up. agree with the above, very strict. my kid is good at sports b/c we gave him a ball at 2 and he just played a lot to develop coordination.
not so much for other cultures that sign their kid up for a class at 7 and want them to be a star.
honestly nurture them and make them work hard, but don't lose sight of developing their happiness and confidence and working on having a good relationship.
there are A LOT of miserable overachievers.
not so much for other cultures that sign their kid up for a class at 7 and want them to be a star.
honestly nurture them and make them work hard, but don't lose sight of developing their happiness and confidence and working on having a good relationship.
there are A LOT of miserable overachievers.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:48
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
I thought Indian parents are Asian parents? Isn't India in Asia?
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:43
Subject: Re:How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
I'm east asian and my parents beat the living shit out of me when I was little if I didn't study. They also taught me RRR independent of my teacher--they taught me my times tables in elementary school before my teacher started teaching it. Lots of books. Very very limited TV. Limited playtime. No dating in HS. I left home at 18 and never looked back. Hated it.
So: lots of extracurricular tutoring, lots of discipline to force me to study massive amounts of time, limit other activities outside of studying.
Academically, I did *quite* well, and married another smarty-pants. But my relationship with my parents is rocky--as is my DH's, who was also similarly pressured.
You should look at the child-parent relationship of parents of children who are the real super-high achievers: Michael Jackson, Vanessa Mae and her mom, Emmanuel Agassi and his elder children (not Andre)...they are all fucked up!
At the end of the day, it's not so great having super achieving/wealthy/famous kids who hate talking to you and can barely stand you. Is it?
OH, and I'm sure genetics plays a role, but of course there is nothing you can do about that.
So: lots of extracurricular tutoring, lots of discipline to force me to study massive amounts of time, limit other activities outside of studying.
Academically, I did *quite* well, and married another smarty-pants. But my relationship with my parents is rocky--as is my DH's, who was also similarly pressured.
You should look at the child-parent relationship of parents of children who are the real super-high achievers: Michael Jackson, Vanessa Mae and her mom, Emmanuel Agassi and his elder children (not Andre)...they are all fucked up!
At the end of the day, it's not so great having super achieving/wealthy/famous kids who hate talking to you and can barely stand you. Is it?
OH, and I'm sure genetics plays a role, but of course there is nothing you can do about that.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:41
Subject: Re:How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
My mum used to get me to recite the multiplication table every morning on the way to school when I was 9! That was because I sucked at math, but I ended up knowing it pretty well 
I think in Asia, doing well academically is deemed more important than excelling in sports or music etc, so parents really place that emphasis and drum it into their kids' heads. There are parents who prevent kids from taking up extra-curricular activities until their school grades improve, and there're also parents who have a ruler in hand when the report card gets in...that's how much stress a kid can get.
I think in Asia, doing well academically is deemed more important than excelling in sports or music etc, so parents really place that emphasis and drum it into their kids' heads. There are parents who prevent kids from taking up extra-curricular activities until their school grades improve, and there're also parents who have a ruler in hand when the report card gets in...that's how much stress a kid can get.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:39
Subject: Re:How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
Genetics.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:34
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
Anonymous wrote:I'm Indian, and was considered a major slacker by my family and our circle of friends because I majored in English and chose to write for blogs and magazines for a living. I'll only redeem myself if I get a book deal or if I start an amazing blog out of all this.
The Indian community can be very demanding and judgmental - everyone has extremely high standards of success and push the kids to achieve or surpass that. There is also a lot of love and nurturing, of course, but one thing I like about "western" parenting is that there is more emphasis on doing what you love, less emphasis on status/prestige/power.
This has more to do with immigrant parents in general who value security very highly. I think that will change as there are more Indian-American kids raised by parents who grew up here and who have the financial security that their grandparents craved. I know lots of people who wanted to go into XYZ field and didn't. I'm sure they will support their kids if they want to.
I am Indian, and my parents were the typical Indian/Asian parents. I don't intend to raise my kids with all that stress...a good work ethic, yes, but DC is stressful enough. When I look at leaders in most any field, there are plenty of non-Asians whose parents likely didn't make them read at 3, know multiplication tables at 5, etc. etc. In my book, it's all about creating a home where learning and hard work are valued. LOL, but ask me how I feel again when my kid is the only Indian not in the school spelling bee!
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:25
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
Op, you sound a bit nutty and anxious to want to know a step by step method of raising kids. Do you have any Indian friends? Does your kid? Why don't you interact with them a little and see how hey behave.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:24
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
Anonymous wrote:Sorry. I am an Indian and we feel like slackers too. All we can think about is whiskey and tandoori chicken. You are talking about the "Other Indians". The Baljeets who is aceing the spelling bee, geography bee, math-a-thons, SAT, ACT, LSAT, MCAT....
On the other hand, we do go to Atlantic City a lot, so one of these days we could really strike it rich at the slot machines, and then Calculus would not matter at all.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:17
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
Anonymous wrote:Sorry. I am an Indian and we feel like slackers too. All we can think about is whiskey and tandoori chicken. You are talking about the "Other Indians". The Baljeets who is aceing the spelling bee, geography bee, math-a-thons, SAT, ACT, LSAT, MCAT....
On the other hand, we do go to Atlantic City a lot, so one of these days we could really strike it rich at the slot machines, and then Calculus would not matter at all.
Yeah, you may be a slacker, but you're obviously clever. Love the line about whiskey and tandoori chicken.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:17
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
I'm Indian, and was considered a major slacker by my family and our circle of friends because I majored in English and chose to write for blogs and magazines for a living. I'll only redeem myself if I get a book deal or if I start an amazing blog out of all this.
The Indian community can be very demanding and judgmental - everyone has extremely high standards of success and push the kids to achieve or surpass that. There is also a lot of love and nurturing, of course, but one thing I like about "western" parenting is that there is more emphasis on doing what you love, less emphasis on status/prestige/power.
The Indian community can be very demanding and judgmental - everyone has extremely high standards of success and push the kids to achieve or surpass that. There is also a lot of love and nurturing, of course, but one thing I like about "western" parenting is that there is more emphasis on doing what you love, less emphasis on status/prestige/power.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:10
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
Sorry. I am an Indian and we feel like slackers too. All we can think about is whiskey and tandoori chicken. You are talking about the "Other Indians". The Baljeets who is aceing the spelling bee, geography bee, math-a-thons, SAT, ACT, LSAT, MCAT....
On the other hand, we do go to Atlantic City a lot, so one of these days we could really strike it rich at the slot machines, and then Calculus would not matter at all.
On the other hand, we do go to Atlantic City a lot, so one of these days we could really strike it rich at the slot machines, and then Calculus would not matter at all.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:06
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
I agree with the premise that nothing is fun unless you are good at it. (mentioned in the link above)
This is true of sports, video games, musical instruments, whatever. And I teach my kid that. Sometimes he might want to quit, and I find that some 'western' parents give in to that. But I have always found that as he improves at something (spelling, math, violin), he WANTS to do it more.
Also, we do give lots of positive feedback (unlike how I grew up... my Asian parents never complimented us).
I think the PP's link is pretty good.
This is true of sports, video games, musical instruments, whatever. And I teach my kid that. Sometimes he might want to quit, and I find that some 'western' parents give in to that. But I have always found that as he improves at something (spelling, math, violin), he WANTS to do it more.
Also, we do give lots of positive feedback (unlike how I grew up... my Asian parents never complimented us).
I think the PP's link is pretty good.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:01
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
Anonymous
12/12/2013 14:00
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
Lolz.
Anonymous
12/12/2013 13:59
Subject: How do Indian and Asian parents do it?
My DD is a very bright girl and we make sure she studies and encourage her to learn and grow all the time. But our elementary school is overrun with Indian and Asian kids who get the best grades and seem to study next year's curriculum over the summer. They take the prizes and awards, and just seem to acing everything. Makes me think of the spelling bee and how Indian kids always win it.
I really want to know, what is it that you do? It can't be that all Indian and Chinese kids are the smartest. There is something that the parents are doing. I'd love to know the exact step by step method of child raising that they do?
I really want to know, what is it that you do? It can't be that all Indian and Chinese kids are the smartest. There is something that the parents are doing. I'd love to know the exact step by step method of child raising that they do?