Anonymous wrote:I love how you call him a SAD and not a SAHD. Freudian slip?

Yes, he will be very sad and depress when he stays at home too long.

Would your survivors qualify for Social Security benefits in the case of your death?

Anonymous wrote:first try to live on the salary for a few months and see if it works.

More importantly, have you and your husband discussed exactly how you envision him spending his days if he stays at home? I agree that it could make l Life less stressful, when is he the kind of person who really will handle these things during the day? Or will you still have to do a lot around the house? Make sure yours on the same page as to what duties will fall under his role if he stays at home.

+1 I am essentially the sole breadwinner for past 5 years. DH is supposed to only work a few hours a week on his business (or preferably not work at all). He is to take care of majority of household / school & kid stuff Some areas he is great at, but others - especially as kids get older - he just doesn't see as necessary and seems to drift towards too many hours on entrepreunerial pursuits. It definitely has created more stress for me - and the kids are vocal on it. As much as it was something he said wanted to do and clearly the right thing for the family (given my job) - it has not been an easy ride. He will admit it. In hindsight, I would have spelled out the duties very clearly and re-evaluate as a standard process as the kids go into different stages. It becomes harder to do that later - though with january 1 coming, we will.

PS - I would increase both life insurance and disability insurance as well as emergency funds.

first try to live on the salary for a few months and see if it works.

More importantly, have you and your husband discussed exactly how you envision him spending his days if he stays at home? I agree that it could make l Life less stressful, when is he the kind of person who really will handle these things during the day? Or will you still have to do a lot around the house? Make sure yours on the same page as to what duties will fall under his role if he stays at home.

I love how you call him a SAD and not a SAHD. Freudian slip?

Try spending 6 months living on only your paycheck and see how it goes. Take that time to buy a LOT of addtl life insurance on both of you.

Keep building your emergency fund, maybe to a year and then up your life insurance. Surely your DH can bounce back before a decade and get back to work to support the family should something happen.

Sounds like you know this will be good for your family. Go for it!!!!!

Anonymous wrote:What about having your DH do a part time job? Life insurance in your case should be enough to replace a year or two salary to allow your DH yo get back into workforce.

I've always read that you should have 10-15 times your annual salary in life insurance. If it would make you feel better, boost your life insurance. I just bought more during open enrollment bringing me to 8x my salary in combined life insurance.

I also agree with the pp who suggested you try to live off of one income for a few months while increasing your emergency fund.

What about having your DH do a part time job? Life insurance in your case should be enough to replace a year or two salary to allow your DH yo get back into workforce.

If having DH at home is a priority, then you can make it work and adjust your spending accordingly. Also, some current expenses will drop, such as gas, dry cleaning, etc, so it may not be quite as tight as you think. (Be prepared though, your electricity/heat bills may rise.)

Before making the plunge, why don't you try living on one salary for say, 3 to 6 months and funnel DH's salary all to savings? That will give you a flavor for what one salary will look like, while also boosting your emergency fund.

Ideally, DH would quit his job and be a SAD which he would like to do. DW has the better paying and more secure job. This would make a huge difference in quality of life as juggling two jobs has been very challenging some of which include one parent with a long commute; drop off and pick up in two different places for next 1 year and 9 months (one child in school, another still in dayacare); scrambling to get everything done (home, dinner, baths) between 6-8:30 pm; missing out on school and daycare activities because you are working; school closures due to snow; having to take sick leave for kids dental appointments; etc.

We have an emergency fund (6 months). However, one paycheck will be just sufficient to monthly bills, retirements contributions reduced to $6K per year between the 2 of us, very simple/cheap vacations which is fine with us. It's doable but this makes me very anxious. What if something happens to me as the primary breadwinner. I know two families in the last 5 years with young children who lost a parent to cancer. If something happened to me, the life insurance would help but certainly not enough for cover household expenses for the next 10-15 years. I spoke a friend whose DH is also a SAD and she said making the decision was very tough but once it happened, they just learnt to live with one salary and that the benefits have outweighed the worries of living paycheck to paycheck.

Am I being irrational? Looking some constructive feedback.