We all want to be part of the group that won't have us. There are plenty of DCUM parents who salivate at the idea of say Sidwell friends BECAUSE it soooo exclusive and reserved for top student and famous families. By the same token, there are plenty of us on this very board-SN-who snub special needs privates flippantly without much sensitivity to the diverse crowd we have here. "My child isn't one of THOSE kids." Private schools fill different niches. It really is all about fit. Public schools on the other hand need to find a way to have everyone there or offer a program for everyone. That is the truly diverse environment you seek.

Anonymous wrote:Places where certain people don't fit are toxic for those who do and remain.

Hmmm, I always thought this was called diversity. Having a variety of people (including some who don't initially "fit in") is supposed to be a great benefit to all, don't you agree?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places where certain people don't fit are toxic for those who do and remain.

I hate to sound cruel but that is life. If you think about someone interviewing for a job, the interviewer is assessing whether the person interviewed will fit into the organization or its culture. That practice will not end because you or I think it's toxic.

As some one else wrote your response is unrelated to the topic of this thread. Which is children who are members of a community and being told that they do not fit. How do you tell a ten year old "You don't belong here. You do fit"?

It is toxic in a school community. The lessons learned at the school are both macro and micro. On a micro level you teach those who remain "certain children don't fit. While you are simultaneously teaching on a macro level "certain groups" don't fit. If sacrificing individual students for the greater good it then becomes easy to move to the next step which is to remove entire groups of people for the grater good.

It is toxic for those who remain to breath deeply and savor the foul acrid ashen odors of destruction and superiority.

Who's next and who will speak for you when it's your turn to go.

Anonymous wrote:NP, leaving private school was the best thing that ever happened to my kid. I was having a trauma about it, but a new school, with a fresh start, and the resources and knowledge to implement an IEP was the best thing that could have happened to my kid.

+1000. And we weren't even counseled out. It was apparent that the school was falling apart. Best thing we ever did was to pull the plug. Looking back, I wish I had done it sooner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Places where certain people don't fit are toxic for those who do and remain.

I hate to sound cruel but that is life. If you think about someone interviewing for a job, the interviewer is assessing whether the person interviewed will fit into the organization or its culture. That practice will not end because you or I think it's toxic.

Maybe true in life, but kids aren't interview for a job. They're trying to learn.

Anonymous wrote:Places where certain people don't fit are toxic for those who do and remain.

I hate to sound cruel but that is life. If you think about someone interviewing for a job, the interviewer is assessing whether the person interviewed will fit into the organization or its culture. That practice will not end because you or I think it's toxic.

It is also the case that a school should be kind, helpful and caring while another environment is being found. Is this always the case? Wasn't for me as a kid.

Best thing I ever did was leave my elite private school. But they could have made it easier during the transition.

Places where certain people don't fit are toxic for those who do and remain.

I think a lot of it has to do with "fit" and what your DC needs in terms of support at various points in their academic career and where they are on the learning continuum. What may have fit for several years in elementary school may not work for middle school so we as parents have to be ready to make the adjustments that are in the best interest of our children and get over the prestige of the school name or worry about what others may think. They are not with you at night as your DC spends several tortuous hours languishing over homework that may be too challenging without adequate support. We also can't live in denial when it becomes obvious that the work is too challenging or rigorous, which may signal a learning disability. It can manifest itself later in the school years. It doesn't mean that our children won't be successful. They just may need another approach to learning.

Anonymous wrote:NP, leaving private school was the best thing that ever happened to my kid. I was having a trauma about it, but a new school, with a fresh start, and the resources and knowledge to implement an IEP was the best thing that could have happened to my kid.

Now there is the type of feel good story I was looking for. I'm glad it worked out so well! Thx for sharing!

She's posting to one particular mom whose dc is leaving a school that isn't a good fit. Kiddo may or may not have ld -- it just may not be a good fit. Hopefully, mom and dc will find happiness at a new school.

NP, leaving private school was the best thing that ever happened to my kid. I was having a trauma about it, but a new school, with a fresh start, and the resources and knowledge to implement an IEP was the best thing that could have happened to my kid.

This is a strange post. I assumed it was going to be a parent telling his/her story of a kid getting counseled out and then it head them in a better direction and the kid is doing great.

Huh?

Just a message of hope to let you know it can/does get better.

I've seen a lot of mean messages of late directed at parents looking for guidance on where to go/what to do next when they get counseled out of a private school. Let me tell you, ignore the nastiness you've encountered on this site. More than likely people don't know who you are IRL, and even in the slim chance they do, they will be a distant memory soon enough.

It's tough coming to terms with learning disabilities, so know that you are doing nothing wrong looking for information/help.

Good luck to you.