Cut the ties that bind. Treat her like a casual acquaintance. When she vents, say "Oh, you poor thing! Everything will work out for you. You are such a capable person."

And then make your excuse "I think I have something contagious and I am coming down with something"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think she is acting this way?
How old are you and sister?

We're both in our 30's.
I think it boils down to the crowd she associates with and our difference in our personalities.

Now, when she needs a shoulder to cry on, I'm expected to put everything aside and jump at the chance to be there for her. If she's upset about something, she'll call and email until she no longer needs me and she's ready to move on and I won't hear from her again for months.

stop dropping everything to help her. she doesn't help you at all.

i have cut ties with my own sister. a PP is right - some sibling personalities mesh, some don't. it sucks but you need to build your own sister-like relationships outside of your family.

She's showing you, very clearly, how she feels about you and how much she values your relationship. I'm very sorry. Stop wasting time on her.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you think she is acting this way?
How old are you and sister?

We're both in our 30's.
I think it boils down to the crowd she associates with and our difference in our personalities.

Now, when she needs a shoulder to cry on, I'm expected to put everything aside and jump at the chance to be there for her. If she's upset about something, she'll call and email until she no longer needs me and she's ready to move on and I won't hear from her again for months.

OP, spend energy and effort on the people who appreciate you. Mourn that your sister will never be the adult sister you want, but find a way to let it go and move on so you aren't consistently let down.

I had this expectation that I talk with my friends either weekly or monthly. One friend told me flat out "I only need to touch base like 3 times a year. More than that is too much." So I adjusted how often I expect to engage with her, and it leaves me a lot less disappointed. You see?

OP, you have to take her at the level she is operating at with your relationship. It does sound hurtful, but some sibling relationships click and some don't. It sounds like it's not your fault or anything you did, but she's just putting her energy elsewhere, and you should too. If she really looks down on you, then your standing up for yourself may signal to her that you're not the meek little sister anymore. If you do email her and she ignores it, then why not follow up with a quick "Hey, did you get my mail? You didn't respond--what's up?"

Do you live in the same city? Are your kids and her kids around the same age?

Are we getting the whole story OP?

Why do you think she is acting this way?
How old are you and sister?

Stop emailing, stop calling. Stop inviting. You are not going to get a friendship here. It may suck but you need to accept that.

I say ignore rather than cut me off because she will randomly respond to my emails/calls/invites and very, very occasionally initiate it. But for the most part, when I try to check in to say hi or invite her and the family to an event I am ignored. (I attempt to make contact about 1-2x a month). My sister thinks she is better than me and has always treated me like I'm beneath her. She was always the popular girl and I was more of an introvert. I've since moved on and created new connections as an adult, she is still very tight with the people who never accepted me. She has in the past said she loves me and my kids, but her actions speak louder. It's so hurtful being ignored and rejected by her. I don't know where to go from here, this is just the screwy relationship I have with her and it sucks