this is what the rabbit is for

Many thanks to all those who responded with empathy, practical advice, plain talk, and humor. You have all strengthened my resolve. This time bomb isn't going off. Ever.

You guys are both ticking time bombs...No matter what you both are telling yourselves, eventually you will both end up in bed together.

My gut instinct tells me it is only a matter of time.

Anonymous wrote:Work husband ? Like that skank that told me she was my husband's work wife ? She got FIRED. HA HA.

Go knock boots. You 'll get what you have coming you nasty ho.

i'm not into cheating or married men, but you sound like you married a skank if you have to worry about that.

to the op, wayyyy too messy. you don't ever consider someone your spouse could be around. below the belt and in very poor taste.

Can you tell I thought this one through? I am way guilty of thought crime. This is how I know. I thought it through. There is no way out except out. Which means taking responsibilty for wanting out. And saying that OUT LOUD. NOt acting it out in bed with another person who also kinda does not want to say it out loud.

Good Luck OP!

Ok lets not punish the lady for thought crime here. Come on.

OP- look. My marriage sucks right now and I am SOOOO glad I do not have some other man I am close to because it would be tough indeed. I wouldnt sleep with another man no matter what, not as long as I am married. And I say that as someone who had a man I was close to emotionally a good while back when I was realizing my marriage was in trouble. I didnt even get CLOSE to sleeping with him.

OP I am sorry you in a bad spot. Really, I mean that. Im afraid that the only way out is to really get out. If you are clear enough to know your marriage is bad, then you are clear enough to either try your best to fix it or admist defeat and fold. And get out.

This in between state cannot go on forever. An affair would be the "easy" way into an "out" only at first. Then it would make everything so much worse. Please just dont do it. Your unmet needs are your unmet needs: ADDRESS THEM HONESTLY. Do NOT DO what SO MANY DO. Just DONT. You will NEVER regret NOT cheating anywhere NEAR the regret you would feel if you did. It will kill you inside. Its not a liberation. Its a prison of your own making.

Sometimes you have to remove yourself entirely from the situation where you will bump into him or communicate with him.

Then be prepared for a month of agony, because all you want is to be with him. But that will pass too.

Then one day you wake up and you will feel nothing for this man and that will be the best thing ever.

Because you have honor and integrity? Or at least aspire to them?

You'll lose the person at work you are closest to.

You'll lose not only your husband but valuable time with your children as the family you committed to building.

You'll lose money, pride, and your good character.

Don't do it, OP. Not worth it.

1, you'll eventually confess and probably lose your husband. Why? you're already confessing on DCUM
2, even if you don't confess, you'll probably forget to delete your history or leave a long trail of emails, so DH will find out, as many other DHs have revealed on DCUM
3, you'll lose your job because others who know you and this potential other man will notice your changed behavior with him. No doubt you two have mutual friends and/or associates from prior work together
4, you'll jeopardize future employment prospects due to lost references from #3
5, you'll put yourself and DH at risk for STDs because a guy who'd cheat with a coworker, former or otherwise, will have and/or has done with someone else beforehand.

Please, whatever you do, remember to get HIV tested and use barrier protection, such as condoms. Your DH doesn't deserve to get AIDS just because you got bored.

Do it! DCUM has been so boring lately; we'll come here and feast on the sordid story of your affair, the destruction of your marriages and the damage to your children.

There, did that help?

Work husband ? Like that skank that told me she was my husband's work wife ? She got FIRED. HA HA.

Go knock boots. You 'll get what you have coming you nasty ho.

Terrible idea.

Is that the model you want to set for your kids?

It would be a really bad idea to have an affair with my former work-husband, right? We're both married -- neither so happily at the moment, but for many years. We both have kids we really love. We have a longstanding friendship and professional relationship that we both value. A while back I posted about this on another thread and a helpful reader said "the sex will probably be just meh". I have been focusing on that thought, but need to strengthen my resolve as we'll be seeing each other at several holiday events.