My inlaws buy more for the SIL's kids, inlaws fly out to visit them three times a year and talk about them constantly. However, the thing that really is burning me after this last visit ...my MIL walked around writing down the names of the books and toys that our DD's have so that they can buy and gift them to SIL's kids.

SIL and BIL pretend to not have money and then go international vacations not to visit family. Inlaws want us to come to their house for holidays, but DH says no, he doesn't like his own parents anymore. It is very sad.

My ILs do this for their two grandchildren whose parents divorced two years ago. Ils are hyper conscious that the divorce will adversely affect these kids that they go out of their way to buy them everything, heap praise upon them...these kids can do no wrong. fights and arguments erupt among the grand kids? Immediately one of my kids' fault. No question.

MIL recently told one of my kids to stop playing basketball in front of cousin because DC is a better player than cousin and it makes cousin feel diminished!

This new attitude of my ILs has done nothing but foster resentment and hatred between the cousins.

That's horrible. Poor kid.

Anonymous wrote:I get that the world rises and sets on the other set of grandchildren.

But is it really necessary to buy a special gift for them while out with DC and not buy anything for DC? When a $5 book would have meant the world? Really?

Not looking for advise. I should know better than to have let them go to a store together. Just needed to vent.

Can your DH speak to his parents about this? I assume these are your in-laws.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just commiseration. GParents constantly buying for and babysitting the GKids that live close to them. They never buy for our kids outside of bdays and Christmas and the only times they see ours, the others are ALw

Hit submit too soon. The others are ALWAYS there so ours are mostly ignored. Sucks.

+1. Except my niece/nephew are local, too - so we find out, for instance, that MIL has been in town for a week, and done all kinds of fun things with them, only to get a text saying "Gee, sorry we missed you this time!" Ummm, if you let us know you're in town BEFORE you leave, it helps!

Wow. Just wow. I thought my family was messed. Does she think she gets credit for trying to visit by texting you?

I hear you.
I usually end up saying to my spouse: That's your mother. My mother would not have done that.
What is it with in-laws!

I am an accident and was treated like one by my greate aunt. She would not let me eat apples from my GF's orchard (it's for legitimate GCs) and GF had to intervene and tell her off, she'd buy other GCs exuberant gifts and would not bring me anything, etc etc etc. Well, despite all the special treatment, my cousins did not grow up close to her, and rather disliked her, my father, her favorite nephew limited communications to the minimum. Is that what she tried to achieve? Probably not.

Yeah, I was so disappointed when my dad came to visit us and brought a new fishing pole for his great granddaughter, but forgot to bring anything for my two kids, his granddaughters. So we had to hop into the car and drive to get fishing poles for my kids that I bought myself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just commiseration. GParents constantly buying for and babysitting the GKids that live close to them. They never buy for our kids outside of bdays and Christmas and the only times they see ours, the others are ALw

Hit submit too soon. The others are ALWAYS there so ours are mostly ignored. Sucks.

+1. Except my niece/nephew are local, too - so we find out, for instance, that MIL has been in town for a week, and done all kinds of fun things with them, only to get a text saying "Gee, sorry we missed you this time!" Ummm, if you let us know you're in town BEFORE you leave, it helps!

This sounds exactly like my mom and dad. Except that they pay for extras in schooling. Is it really necessary to talk up your upcoming semester abroad while another child that gets only the token gifts sits nearby?

So glad thanksgiving is over.

That's just rude. sorry OP.

Sorry. That sucks.

Anonymous wrote:Just commiseration. GParents constantly buying for and babysitting the GKids that live close to them. They never buy for our kids outside of bdays and Christmas and the only times they see ours, the others are ALw

Hit submit too soon. The others are ALWAYS there so ours are mostly ignored. Sucks.

Just commiseration. GParents constantly buying for and babysitting the GKids that live close to them. They never buy for our kids outside of bdays and Christmas and the only times they see ours, the others are ALw

I get that the world rises and sets on the other set of grandchildren.

But is it really necessary to buy a special gift for them while out with DC and not buy anything for DC? When a $5 book would have meant the world? Really?

Not looking for advise. I should know better than to have let them go to a store together. Just needed to vent.