She's just insecure is all.

Anonymous wrote:I would be hesitant to leave my child with a person who feels that force feeding a kid/baby is o.k. (seriously?)

As far as the big baby thing goes. Both of my sons were under 7 pounds at birth but at the rate they are growing they will both be 6 feet tall. It has less to do with their fab diets and the "rightness" of everything that I do with/for them and a lot more to do with the fact that dh is 6' tall.

The fact that your SIL is taking credit for her kids' size is really kind of laughable. Does she take credit for the sun rising every day, too?

If your kids are genetically big, why did you grow them so small?
That speaks volumes.

My SIL used to have small babies and mine were big.
I did like to pour salt in her wounds by rubbing it in.
Told her how I ate healthy and wasn't afraid to gain weight.
I could tell it was a weak spot for her and I loved it.

I would be hesitant to leave my child with a person who feels that force feeding a kid/baby is o.k. (seriously?)

As far as the big baby thing goes. Both of my sons were under 7 pounds at birth but at the rate they are growing they will both be 6 feet tall. It has less to do with their fab diets and the "rightness" of everything that I do with/for them and a lot more to do with the fact that dh is 6' tall.

The fact that your SIL is taking credit for her kids' size is really kind of laughable. Does she take credit for the sun rising every day, too?

Well you are in a pickle.
Why would you use her for child care?

I agree with PP that you should talk to her diplomatically, but don't imply that it's a sensitive issue for you because you are dealing with problems. "Her comparisons and unsolicited advice are not productive and you don't want them to negatively affect your relationship with her. You appreciate her desire to help, but it's better if she drops the comparing and suggestions about how to parent."

The only thing I could think to do is to talk to her very diplomatically and tell her exactly how difficult it is to hear her say those things, as you and your DH are doing the best you can. (I have an underweight son with sensory and speech issues, too so I understand what you must be going through). It is all about your tone. If you don't get anywhere after that then you probably have to live with the comments and let them roll off your back.

The strategy you are using with her is fine up to a point, but the best thing to do is to keep her at arm's length, and you can't do that if she's your nanny. Why are you leaving your child with her if you don't approve of her parenting? What will you do with the new baby? If you are going to be home for any length of time after the birth, it might be a good time to transition to another sitter.

Actually I would say nothing. When she makes a comparison, just stare at her in silence with a blank stare for about 5 seconds. Then go about your business. Literally say nothing.

Anonymous wrote:If you don't pay for childcare, you take what you get. Sorry.

What does that have to do with anything? Silly statement.

Anonymous wrote:Why would you leave your child with someone who has such ass-backward ideas? Force feeding will backfire big time and food sensory issues are no joke. You are so enmeshed and dependant on her that you are forced to put up with her crap. I would not leave my child with her and I would tell her to STFU. She is insulting and ignorant.

Right, but it's about maintaining a tolerable relationship with her. She is good to my son, and family. I'd rather leave him with her then someone I don't know...even if she does aggravate me.

Anonymous wrote:If you don't pay for childcare, you take what you get. Sorry.

I do pay

Why would you leave your child with someone who has such ass-backward ideas? Force feeding will backfire big time and food sensory issues are no joke. You are so enmeshed and dependant on her that you are forced to put up with her crap. I would not leave my child with her and I would tell her to STFU. She is insulting and ignorant.

If you don't pay for childcare, you take what you get. Sorry.

My husband and his brother are very close, so we live very close to BIL and his wife. For the most part it's ok, we have built in playmates down the street.

However, SIL drives me mad with her constant obsession with what my children are doing compared to hers. We both have three, and I'm 20 weeks with #4. My DD is 7 and my two DS are 5 and almost 2. Her three boys are 3, 5, and 8...so we pretty much have alway had pregnancies together or with our youngest within a year of each other. It started with our oldest and got worse. My babies have been fairly small, DD was 6 pounds 3 ounces at birth, full term and perfectly healthy but small. The boys were both a little over 7 pounds which I find normal. She has gigantic babies. The last boy was 11 pounds, he to this day is in the 100th percentile for everything. SIL loves to tell me how her children are bigger because of their diet, their physical activity. I coddle mine too much, they get sick to much because I'm overprotective. It's never said in nastiness, but I still become so annoyed. With this pregnancy she has gotten worse, she asks me how it's she's growing. If I'm going to take this pill, or that pill so she's gains weight before the birth. I really don't need advice from the woman who put chicken broth in her 4-month-olds bottle. I always tend to repeat the phrase, "Well, they are two different children." When she compares the children. She is especially bad about our middle boys who were born within a month of one another. DS is slightly underweight, he has sensory issues and eating has always been a hassle. She LOVES to tell me what I'm doing wrong. I need to be more aggressive with him eating, I need to essentially force feed him. I always say, "Ok, thanks but the speech therapist has other recommendations." I can't be to harsh with her because she keeps my youngest while DH and I work. Is this something I need to let just slide, or is there a mature way I can address this?