Have a conversation with your sister. Then have a conversation with your niece (if your sister is ok with it). Even if the comments are innocent, your niece needs to know to stay away from older guys.

You should friend him, introducing yourself, thus making him aware you're monitoring him.

Anonymous wrote:Can you send him a message --

Hi! I'm Allison's aunt. I've noticed you comment quite a bit on her posts and I wanted to introduce myself because you take quite an interest in her and I make a point to get to know all of her friends.

This lets him know he is being monitored.

And knowing his is being monitored will just make him take it someplace less visible if he really is up to no good.

Sounds like you haven't spoken w/ your sister about it. Do you know whether she monitors her daughter's facebook activity (and activity of her friends) regularly?

I think if you're seriously concerned then you need to be willing to risk your sister being offended at you raising the suggestion.

If you're not willing to do anything about your concerns then I'm not sure what you're looking for here...

Anonymous wrote:OP here - can you send someone a message if you are not their friend on FB?

You can, but it goes into their "other" folder, which many people never think to look at.

If you want to be sure he gets your message, you'd have to friend him.

OP here - can you send someone a message if you are not their friend on FB?

Anonymous wrote:Sounds pretty awkward and uncomfortable to me. But 17 is plenty old enough to talk with your niece directly - no? Can you have a conversation with her about trusting her instincts and being careful to not let anyone take advantage of her?

And have you talked with your sister directly? I would be as concerned as you based on what you're describing.

17 is the age when a girl is too polite to rebuff advances and really can't tell a creep from a nice guy. She can be suckered by a Ted Bundy asking for help moving his canoe because his arm is sore -- that's exactly how Bundy got his victims into his car. Too polite to say no despite instincts asking why he would want her help.

OP here. She is my only niece, but they live 10 hours away so while we are close when we see each other, not so much. And, my sister would be offended by the implication that she is not savvy enough to notice these things.

Maybe he is just an obsessive commenter - I never heard that before.

It's just creepy, you know?

Can you send him a message --

Hi! I'm Allison's aunt. I've noticed you comment quite a bit on her posts and I wanted to introduce myself because you take quite an interest in her and I make a point to get to know all of her friends.

This lets him know he is being monitored.

I would not consider commenting all the time to be an alarm bell. My mother in law was an obsessive commenter when she first joined. She's toned it down over the years a little bit.

As for this girl's relationship with her friend's father, do you have a close relationship with the girl?

Sounds pretty awkward and uncomfortable to me. But 17 is plenty old enough to talk with your niece directly - no? Can you have a conversation with her about trusting her instincts and being careful to not let anyone take advantage of her?

And have you talked with your sister directly? I would be as concerned as you based on what you're describing.

My niece is 17 but very naive as she has been home-schooled in a very religious fundamentalist family. She has a facebook account and I am one of her friends. About 6 months ago the father of one of her homeschool friends started commenting on every single Facebook post that my niece put up. Okay - WTF? When does a grown man have that kind of time? and.....he reposts pictures of them together (at a civic event) on his facebook account. I don't like it, I just don't like it. It's weird and I have alarm bells ringing in my head.

I don't think my sister or her husband get the ickiness at all. I think they just think it is all fine. I cannot describe how this bothers me except that it does. There is nothing suggestive in his posts AT ALL. But it's almost like a girlfriend, you know?

I don't even know what to point to in objection, just that....it feels wrong.

Does anyone out there know what I mean? Any suggestions?