Anonymous wrote:I think you have bigger problems if you are thinking about this question as "I pay her bill" and "she should pay her own bill" rather than we have family expenses and those expenses get paid out of our joint income. That being said, I would never think of having a cellphone or a cellphone bill that my husband didn't have access to and I would expect that he would never have one of those things that I didn't have access to. I pay all the bills (in that I physically write the checks out of our joint checking account) but he is free to see all of them if he wants to. He also has the code to get onto my iPhone and feels free to punch it in and use my phone to surf if we are out an about.
Maybe ask your wife what is bothering her about your current cellphone arrangement that makes her feel like she needs to keep this information from you. I bet it has nothing to do with what she doesn't want you to see on her phone and more to do with the fact that your marriage seems to have a strange relationship between separate and shared resources and the power dynamic between the two.
What a tortured response. It's far more likely she's texting another dude.