Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom and in laws live in the area. Husband's family is American and christian, mine is not so they always host Thanksgiving and Christmas. They invited my mom the first couple of years and then didn't one Thanksgiving and I was so upset. (MIL said she forgot). To me it makes sense to combine if everyone is in the area since we are one family now. Do others not do this?

That's fine if you're an only child and have a small family. But what if there are siblings on both sides?

True, didn't think of that. DH only has 1 sibling who is not married. I have 1 too but she isn't in the area and is also single.

Anonymous wrote:My mom and in laws live in the area. Husband's family is American and christian, mine is not so they always host Thanksgiving and Christmas. They invited my mom the first couple of years and then didn't one Thanksgiving and I was so upset. (MIL said she forgot). To me it makes sense to combine if everyone is in the area since we are one family now. Do others not do this?

That's fine if you're an only child and have a small family. But what if there are siblings on both sides?

My mom and in laws live in the area. Husband's family is American and christian, mine is not so they always host Thanksgiving and Christmas. They invited my mom the first couple of years and then didn't one Thanksgiving and I was so upset. (MIL said she forgot). To me it makes sense to combine if everyone is in the area since we are one family now. Do others not do this?

Our extended families are both in the DC area. We see one family on Christmas and one the day after. Same thing for TG, usually. When my ILs move to FL next year, it will be something different, obviously, but I am sure we will see my parents for a second Xmas even on years that we are in FL for Xmas day. My mom loves Christmas, so I know she would be really bummed if we didn't.

We do Thanksgiving with my inlaws and a summer trip to see my parents every year (the two families live on opposite coasts). We alternate Christmases, but usually see my inlaws for New Year's. This last thing bothers me, because it means that my inlaws always see us for part of the holiday season and my parents miss a whole season, but there are reasons that my husband really wants to be there, and I haven't figured out a different compromise.

We split winter break and celebrate with one side on Christmas, the other side near Christmas. Every year is different, and we check ahead with both of our families a few weeks in advance to see which relatives will be where and when. We fly to DH's home state and either make it a longer trip to his parents' house (in the middle of nowhere) or a shorter trip to his sister's house, 5 minutes from the airport. We usually drive to my parents' house, 5 hours away, and try to time the trip to coincide with my siblings' visits. The logistics are different every year, but it all seems to work out with the help of cooperative extended families.

We alternate.
Thanksgiving, Christmas Day, and Easter are rotated. Christmas Eve was removed from the rotation when DD was born.
We don't SPECIFICALLY do an alternative-day-celebration with the "other family." Exception is the grandparents, b/c we exchange gifts with them so we will get together sometime between Christmas and New Years, typically. But it's low key.
If we didn't see you at Thanksgiving or Easter, well, we'll see you next year.
Not a big deal for DH's family since we see them all the time. But we have not seen my (extended) family since last Christmas Day. I'm okay with that, sadly.

We have local family who we always "celebrate" Christmas with even if we don't spend the holiday together. It's always just a regular dinner and gift exchange, though. Last year we actually did it before our holiday travel plans, which was nice.

We don't alternate winter holidays (DH's family celebrates Christmas and mine doesn't, so it's a no-brainer), but we do alternate Thanksgiving. My family is close-by, and DH's family is about a 9-hour drive. If we don't go to my ILs' for Thanksgiving, we make an extra effort to head up during the summer, and my FIL will try to come down to visit us once or twice. (It's hard for my MIL to travel.) This year, my patents are also hosting "Fakesgiving" on the Saturday before, partly so we can celebrate with them, and partly because a lot of our family members have tickets to the Ravens game in Thanksgiving.

It was much easier before we had our kid; no one was put out by not seeing DH and I for a holiday.

Yes-but both of our parents live within a 4 hour drive and both are retired. So it's easy for them to come down. My preference would be to have our own Christmas at home, but my MIL freaks out about not seeing DD on Christmas Day so she wants to abandon her elderly mother at the holidays to come down. We don't feel right about it, so for now we have to go up at least every other year for the holiday itself.

Luckily my parents are much more flexible.

We don't, but both families would require traveling to get to. However, we usually stay at whichever family we are celebrating with for a few days before and after the holiday, so it isn't like we are sitting home the weekend after instead of going to the other family. I think it is easier to skip a second Thanksgiving than to skip having a second Christmas entirely. We usually see the other family some time in January and it becomes like a second Christmas because people want to exchange gifts.

We do not - but one is East coast and one is in the Midwest. Although we can stop in to then East Coast location for 1 overnight on our way back to DC if it is a longer break like Christmas and New Years. I would not mind doing that because it allows us to celebrate my MIL'd BD with her, but my mom is a bit of a score keeper and god forbid should my inlaws get more total days of visits than them.

We alternate.

The worst part is having a 2nd Christmas when we return with DHs family. I get kind of depressed after the holiday rush ends and it's too much. They're only 4 hours though so we don't have a reason not to go.

My family doesn't get Christmas when it's not their year

We love several hours from each family.
We travel to one for thanksgiving and the other right after Christmas.
We alternate every year.

if you alternate holidays between two families, do you still see the family who you don't spend the holiday with sometime during the course of the holiday break? what if you needed to travel for the holiday to spend it with the family whose turn it is that year? would you still see the other family (provided they are local) that weekend, after traveling and tired?