Anonymous wrote:does anyone have any experience dealing with a mean or a bad teacher? am in wayside es in Potomac and feel that the teacher is just plain overly harsh. I would like to complain but don't want my kid to be subject of retaliation. any advice?

My kids have had "harsh" teachers in the past. In fact, last year, my daughter couldn't stand hers. But guess what? We TALKED about personality differences, and I would remind her that eventually she will have a boss who's an asshole. And while she's out looking for another job, she'll just have to deal. We've all been there.

Yes, she got into trouble with this teacher, mostly for being too social. But she learned that rules were tighter in this classroom. And yes, there were kids (mainly boys) who were always in trouble and thus losing quite a bit of recess time. (dumb, I know - as you don't punish an active kid by preventing him/her from running around)

But we've all been there. In fact, last year I shared my stories of some pretty harsh teachers, and we had a good laugh over them.

And guess what, OP?

There will ALWAYS be bad teachers - just as there will always be bad lawyers and doctors and nurses and psychologists and cashiers at McDonald's and you name it.

But to create a "support system" for parents is ridiculous. And I often wonder just who is actually "suffering" - your kid or YOU?

Hey PP just FYI I just want you to know that at least 3 parents out of a class complained and NOTHING happened. We became kind of a support group for each other though.

I want to offer a different view. Every situation is different, a good Principal can deal with something like this and would want to know, a weak Principal will likely not do anything. I have had some success with a good Principal (Asst. Principal mainly) but also had another one just ignore complaints. Don't assume retaliation, one of the things you should teach your kids is to speak up for themselves and also let them know that you are in their corner. To make all of that work, you need to be sure you have the facts right, not always easy when dealing with kids, but if you are comfortable that you do, follow the steps -- start with speaking to the teacher, and then progress (don't know why you would include a counselor though that might be appropriate in some schools). You won't make the person a good teacher but you might be able to have the behavior altered or possibly have your child switched to a different class.

You should speak up, OP. We are at the same school and I'm wondering if we have the same teacher. It's really surprising because it's such a new situation for us. This hasn't happened to us before and I think we may have a lot of stock with the school so I am seriously thinking of saying something soon. It could help others.

Dealing with a watered-down version of this. I can tell my DC's teacher just doesn't like him. Likeable kid, has always had good relationships with his teachers. Not this year. In fact, I don't quite cold with me. Perfectly friendly to some of the parents and kids. Awful to the rest. She has a reputation as a favorite-picker and as being clicquy with certain parents. Hate feeling so powerless to do anything about it. Feeling you pain, op.

Principals are afraid of the unions.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. Sounds like there is no good solution. Upshot seems to be that if you complain, your kid will get retaliated against. Has anyone tried filing a formal complaint. It seems like the regulations allow for a formalized complaint process as well. Seems like teacher bullying should not be allowed. Maybe Im naïve.

Definitely naive. Yep teacher bullying should not be allowed but with rotten teachers it is par for the course. Is your DC a favorite target, if not let it go or report it at year end.

What is the teacher doing???

....just a whisper of two words......school. board.

Thanks everyone. Sounds like there is no good solution. Upshot seems to be that if you complain, your kid will get retaliated against. Has anyone tried filing a formal complaint. It seems like the regulations allow for a formalized complaint process as well. Seems like teacher bullying should not be allowed. Maybe Im naïve.

Talk to teacher be very, very careful going to principal or counselor. My kids are in middle school and of all the teachers my two kids have had, I have only had a problem with one in ES--- I am not a complainer. But this teacher was so mean to my daughter it was almost abusive. And she is a mostly A occasional B student. Anyway, I complained to the counselor in what I thought was a very diplomatic way. After that the teacher completely came after her twice as hard. The counselor told me, "I cannot believe that, everyone loves Ms. X, she has never had any complaints." But I found out a couple years later that some other moms complained too before me so the counselor lied to me. Anyway, it did not help. Ultimately I think my daughter got thicker skin and works harder to please her teachers. Glad it is past but there may have been a silver lining. The year goes by quickly

Talk to the teacher first. Right now you only know one side of the story. There may be a second one.
Both sides have to be encouraged to understand each other's points of view better.

My DD was a target at a different ES a few years ago. She is generally a straight A student (still) had excellent standardized test scores but was told she was intellectually incapable. It was bizarre. I got the principal involved early on and teacher backed off for a couple of months than came after DD later with vengance. It ended up like a case of teacher bullying. There was what I would consider emotional abuse against my DD. In my case, I was against a wall and had no choice. However if the teacher was just mean and my DD had flown under the radar, I wouldn't gave said anything. You really don't want your DD to become a target. BTW if the teacher is that bad the school knows but chooses not to take action. The horrible teacher is still teaching at my DD's school.

Have you talked to the teacher at all?
Do you have specific examples of what the teacher did that you would describe as "harsh"?

does anyone have any experience dealing with a mean or a bad teacher? am in wayside es in Potomac and feel that the teacher is just plain overly harsh. I would like to complain but don't want my kid to be subject of retaliation. any advice?