I was in your shoes OP. Still am, however my children are older now.

When they were younger and he would be so indifferent to them, it not only broke my heart, it also angered me SO much. How dare someone treat their children like they didn't even matter when other children were so loved by their fathers??! It just seemed so unfair.

All I can say is karma....

Anyway, my kids have come out alright in the end.
And him?? Living alone w/out a close relationship w/his own kids.
He will die a very lonely man and it will be of his own fault.

Anonymous wrote:Where did all the women shaming lunatics come from? OP I could have written your post word for word. Your ex (and mine) will probably never know what they are missing out on, but I don't feel shame. I realize it's his character flaw and not mine. I do the damn best I can to love my son every day and he is a great kid. I'm sending you a virtual hug. Keep your chin up.

Thanks PP and the others that have shared stories.

It boggles my mind to know that there ARE more men whom reject their own flesh & blood. I'm incredibly proud of my son and the amazing person he has become, which makes it all the more unbelievable that his own father doesn't care less about him except when he can be used to his advantage (picking up women, demonstrating what a involved Father he is, etc).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the ex NEVER wanted a kid and you got pregnant accidentally, why is it a surprise that they are a shitty parent?!?

While the title of the thread is misleading, in fact my ex said he wanted kids, but it turns out that was just a lie to appear to be normal. Since the split, he has told many people that he's glad to be single again and doesn't want custody other than occasional visits. Enough to keep up the appearance that he is a great Dad without actually being a full-time Dad.

So you both say things when you mean the opposite to appear normal, win an argument... so people cannot rely on what you say.

Incoherent. Put down the wine and step away!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the ex NEVER wanted a kid and you got pregnant accidentally, why is it a surprise that they are a shitty parent?!?

While the title of the thread is misleading, in fact my ex said he wanted kids, but it turns out that was just a lie to appear to be normal. Since the split, he has told many people that he's glad to be single again and doesn't want custody other than occasional visits. Enough to keep up the appearance that he is a great Dad without actually being a full-time Dad.

So you both say things when you mean the opposite to appear normal, win an argument... so people cannot rely on what you say.

What the hell is your problem pp? Just looking for a fight?

Where did all the women shaming lunatics come from? OP I could have written your post word for word. Your ex (and mine) will probably never know what they are missing out on, but I don't feel shame. I realize it's his character flaw and not mine. I do the damn best I can to love my son every day and he is a great kid. I'm sending you a virtual hug. Keep your chin up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the ex NEVER wanted a kid and you got pregnant accidentally, why is it a surprise that they are a shitty parent?!?

While the title of the thread is misleading, in fact my ex said he wanted kids, but it turns out that was just a lie to appear to be normal. Since the split, he has told many people that he's glad to be single again and doesn't want custody other than occasional visits. Enough to keep up the appearance that he is a great Dad without actually being a full-time Dad.

So you both say things when you mean the opposite to appear normal, win an argument... so people cannot rely on what you say.

Anonymous wrote:If the ex NEVER wanted a kid and you got pregnant accidentally, why is it a surprise that they are a shitty parent?!?

While the title of the thread is misleading, in fact my ex said he wanted kids, but it turns out that was just a lie to appear to be normal. Since the split, he has told many people that he's glad to be single again and doesn't want custody other than occasional visits. Enough to keep up the appearance that he is a great Dad without actually being a full-time Dad.

If the ex NEVER wanted a kid and you got pregnant accidentally, why is it a surprise that they are a shitty parent?!?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I take it from this post that you were never married to this guy.

Sorry, but little sympathy here, except for your child.

How is OP's marital status relevant?

Anonymous wrote:OP, I take it from this post that you were never married to this guy.

Sorry, but little sympathy here, except for your child.

Agreed, all out of wedlock children should be aborted.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I take it from this post that you were never married to this guy.

Sorry, but little sympathy here, except for your child.

Where was that said exactly?

OP, I take it from this post that you were never married to this guy.

Sorry, but little sympathy here, except for your child.

I can kind of relate. My ex always said he wanted kids. He was a terribly uninvolved father to our #1. I decided not to have any more. I accidentally got pregnant with #2.... and he told me to abort her.

Now we are divorced and he's dad of the effing year. He's shacking up with a woman.... WITH KIDS. And likes to tell me all the parenting things I do wrong for the kid that, if he had had his way, WOULD BE DEAD. Yeah, I wonder what it is like for friends who had normal husbands. I will never know what it's like to raise a functional, intact family.

Chin up! I have a loser dad and I'm actually stronger because of it. I love my mom to death. She did her best and she kicked ass. We are still very close and I see her daily (yes daily!).

Don't feel shame. Your ex should feel shame. I hope your son becomes a wild success leaving your ex to only watch from a distance. Be stron mamma and be proud.

Maybe someone can relate. I had an unplanned pregnancy that was an emotional nightmare with my ex. My ex always said he wanted kids, but I quickly realized that was a pick up line. Every time a friend gets pregnant I wonder what it is like for them in contrast to the shamed, shunned, and abandonment that I felt. Things got better once our child arrived, but I've never been able to shake the way I was made to feel.

To top things off, it came out that he didn't care to have any custody of our child. Our child, of course, loves his Father. I have no idea what might happen when the truth becomes obvious someday.